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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/9949-Resolutions.html
Comedy: January 08, 2020 Issue [#9949]




 This week: Resolutions
  Edited by: Robert Waltz
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

It is always during a passing state of mind that we make lasting resolutions.
         -Marcel Proust

I don't do resolutions, as I am a rebel without a cause in that respect - I always break them by the second of Jan.!
         -Katherine Kelly

I do have a lot of resolutions, but I don't really make them at New Year's much.
         -Blake Griffin


Word from our sponsor

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Letter from the editor

How To Keep Your New Year's Resolutions

Don't make any.

The End.



...what? I have to make this longer? Dang.

We've all been there. January 1 approaches, and you're sitting on the couch taking stock of yourself when you decide to start eating better and exercising right after the couch collapses under you.

So you get a gym membership and pick up a bunch of fruits and vegetables from the supermarket. Three days later, you have a fridge drawer full of rotting vegetation, so you decide to skip the gym and instead go out and buy a sturdier couch.

This newsletter is dated January 8. By the time you read this, approximately 0% of your New Years resolutions have succeeded.

The best way to avoid this situation is, as I've said, don't make resolutions.

If you must make resolutions, be sure to break every single one of them by the end of January 1: skip the gym. Have a beer and a smoke. Fail to write. Look at new couches online.

Then, on January 2 (or January 8, or whenever you see this important and life-changing editorial), start over. But this time, don't try to change everything all at once. Pick something and make a small change: buy a bag of Brussels sprouts, or take a walk. Don't try to do both at the same time. Or swap in a bottle of water for a single can of beer; if you usually drink Bud Light, I promise you won't even notice the difference.

There's nothing wrong with working on improving yourself. But if you make small, incremental changes, you'll always have another future improvement to look forward to.

At least until next New Year's.


Editor's Picks

Hopefully, you've resolved to Read More Comedy in 2020. These should help:

 
The Air Hurts My Face  [E]
Why?? Please, why??
by Fivesixer


 
Seven Hills 90210  [13+]
Brenda and Kelly are feuding over Dylan, when Anya the Vengeance Demon offers her help.
by Yesmrbill


Grumpy Old Men  [E]
For Rising Stars Ice Breaker - Written by Hannah and Rachel.
by Choconut


Never, I Say!  [E]
This dates me- I got my degrees on an old Underwood Typewriter, the beast!
by Lobelia is truly blessed


 Good Gold!  [13+]
Furs the thief finds his way to the end of a rainbow.
by Tess Dark


 Lost Off Crucial Point  [13+]
Small literary prose piece (Metazen)
by Ben Langhinrichs


 Jubilation: A Love Spewtation  [13+]
An excessively ornate purposefully bad love poem for the Spewlitzer Prize.
by Katya the Poet


The Deal  [18+]
the revenge of a scorned woman
by Lilli

 
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Word from Writing.Com

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Don't forget to support our sponsor!
Party Prompts, the App! for Apple iOS.
Creative fun in the palm of your hand.


Ask & Answer

Last time, in "Unwritten, I argued against the unwritten rules of life.


Write 2 Publish 2020 : Social Media Love/Hate. I've heard all the bad and good about FB. I have two reasons for loving it. 1)family. I'm in constant stages of conversation with my sisters and daughter, as well at being the Major aunt for questions from my nieces.
2)Connection. Without FB I would never have come to know alumni from HS. Love time acquaintances in our "Church" family former and present. Keeping up on their news. When a man died on Tues I posted his death on my page, which went to many people who remembered him and loved his preaching. I can't denounce that.
I'd like to say one thing about "Platform" FB, Website, twitter. I feel sometimes I'm in an authors loop. Preaching to the choir so to speak. I love to know how to get followed by readers/buyers not just other authors.


         Wish I could help you with that, Write 2 Publish 2020, but I haven't figured out how to get noticed beyond this little corner of the internet, myself - partly because I avoid social media, I suppose. Also, I probably should have been more clear: when I wrote "Avoid social media" as a rule, I meant that for myself. Plenty of people make it work for them.


Fivesixer : My favorite unwritten rule is "Don't trust everything you see on the internet" -Abraham Lincoln.

         He stole that quote unashamedly from Cicero.


And that's it for me for this first month of the new year - until next time,

LAUGH ON!!!

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