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Previously: "Getting Through the Afternoon"  Sydney wants to turn herself into Jenna's boyfriend? You are too shocked to reply, and the drive turns very silent for a long minute as you try to wrap your head around it. Why would she want to turn herself into a guy? Guys are gross, with weird hair in weird places, and ugly things—cocks and balls—hanging out of them. Girls have breasts, and they are soft and smooth and curvy and they fit good inside your arms. They have nice hair and they smell great! It gives you another shock to realize that you've basically described what you've been enjoying for the last twenty-four hours: being something that you are not. Maybe that's what's going on with Sydney, you think with the desperation of a drowning man lunging for a life raft. Maybe she wants to know what it's like being on the other side. Oh, and she also says it's to help you "look around" for additional bodies and identities, but maybe that's just an excuse. "Were you thinking of switching with Nathan soon?" she asks, interrupting these thoughts. "Huh?" you gasp. "No. I mean— Sure, that sounds like a great idea." You squint over at her. "Are you getting, like, impatient for me to, um, move out of Ella?" She gives you a look that's hard to read: skeptical but querying. "Well, we haven't talked about what comes next, Will," she says. "And you said you wanted to look around before making a jump. We're pretty set on Nathan and Jenna being two of them, right? And Maggie and— Well, I guess we haven't figured out the fifth girl on the softball team. But the guys to go with them— Because, Will," she says in a voice that sounds haggard with a kind of hunger. "If I'm going to be one of these girls during the week, I want a guy I can hang off of, because I want you with me." * * * * * Her confession stirred you with desire, so that you pushed your hand between her back and the seat, and stroked and squeezed her. She squirmed and shot you smiles while trying mostly to keep her eyes on the road. You told her to go ahead and plan on making a switch with Nathan. At the same time her confession filled you with a little unease. Sydney has been very flirty with you, very hungry, but you still haven't quite come to grips with the idea that this very sexy and desirable and confident girl would have these kinds of feelings for you. For someone like Nathan, who is big and strong and confident, yes, you can imagine her being into someone like him. But being him? While also being interested in you? You can't shake the feeling that there are numbers in these equations that are not adding up. There are also numbers in the math homework (which you are working on before supper) that aren't adding up, so you text Cameron: You still okay for study tutor thing this week? Then you quickly add, You okay me get another date for concert tomorrow? His replies are a few minutes in coming: Sure what day? and Glad you found guy into it. You're not certain how sincere the last one is. The fact that he didn't reply when you first told him that you got a different "emergency date" for Wednesday leaves you worrying that he might be mad, like he feels like you threw him over. Ella doesn't like thinking about how her "big brothers" probably feel about her (and you don't either), but sometimes those kinds of thoughts have to be confronted. So you ask if you can call him directly. He asks if he can call you later on, as he's getting ready to eat. "Yeah, so, it's Chuck Johnson I'm taking with me tomorrow night," you tell him when you are back the bedroom after your own supper, and are again sprawled stomach-down on the bed with your homework in front of you. "You know Chuck?" "I know who he is. He's into that kind of concert?" "Well, I asked him, basically, to take me. I felt so bad asking you to be my emergency date." Emergency date. The phrase gives you a flush of pleasure as you are suddenly aware of your body: the boobs being squeezed between your ribcage and the bed; your hair tumbling softly around your ears; your bare legs and feet, which are twined in the air at the ankles. You flop onto your side, leaning on the arm you are holding your phone with, so that with your free hand you can tuck your legs up close and run a palm over your smooth thighs and calves. "I didn't mind," Cameron protests. "Well, Chuck didn't mind either. And it's such a little thing, this concert. I'm only going because— Actually, I don't even know why I'm going. Like, how did I even get talked into it?" You try to retrieve the memory of why Ella said "yes" to Christine, but it escapes you. "If you're going to be my emergency whatever," you tell Cameron, "I want to save it for something big. Okay?" "Like what?" Like getting married. The thought, which is stray and free-associative, hits like a bowling ball to the face, and you flinch hard. Ella doesn't feel that way about Cameron, or about any guy. "Oh, I dunno," you stammer. "Just not tomorrow night. I just want to get through tomorrow night, and I don't want to just 'get through' something with you." Oh God, you gasp in horror to yourself. That sounds even worse! As in, more like I'm into him! There's silence on the other end, which you cover it by blabbering about the study session you want to set up. You ask if Reece Palendech would really be up for something like that, and add that Jenna and Nathan probably would be too. Cameron asks when and where you want to do that, and you quickly shut down the conversation—before it can get more awkward—by telling him that you'll talk to Jenna. Only after you've hung up do you realize you forgot to ask him for help on those trigonometry questions you can't figure out. But that's okay. You are distracted by another math problem: What would be a good value to insert into the equation "Ella + ? = XXXOOO"? * * * * * You've got a number of reasons to play with that question. The main one, of course, is the one that Sydney put to you today. She wants each of her girls to have a guy, and so Ella needs a guy. And, maybe related, but you feel an answering urge from Ella's own psyche. Her "long-lost sister" has a boyfriend, and her friends will be getting boyfriends, so she wouldn't want to feel left out. But there is also just the physical "itch" the question gives you, that you can scratch not just with a hand but with the thoughts that can move the hand. You were careful last night not to play with yourself, as Ella often does, but tonight you dive in. You go to bed late, after the rest of the house is dark and quiet, and strive to keep awake. And once in the bed—in flannel pajama shorts and a floppy t-shirt, —ou push your fingers down the front of your panties and dig greedily into the fleshy crevices hidden there. Your first thought is for Nathan, of course, who you see a lot of and will be seeing more of. He is a hunky slab of man-meat with dark hair and blue-green eyes, who Jenna has giggled over when describing how strong his fingers are, and how she loves being kneaded and squeezed by him when they share a dark back seat together. They are his fingers, not yours, you imagine pushing inside you, and stroking the tender flesh into dampening. But you quickly move on to Cameron, and imagine him, hard and bare-chested (and hairless, unlike Nathan, who has a mat of the stuff) pressing down on you, his slightly parrot-like lips seeking yours. And Noah Lepley, another lacrosse player, and a good friend of Nathan's and Cameron's, who is pleasant and soft-spoken, but confident: him you imagine embracing you in the folds of the soft hoodies that he favors, and nestling your face into the folds at his shoulders. Laurent Delacroix, snapping at you with his hard, white teeth set in a dark face with dark hair and dark eyes; and Alec "Brownie" Brown, who often (so he claims) goes to school "commando": the thought of him gives you your first thought of cock when a momentary confusion of fantasy blurs the touch of your fingers inside the bush in front of your panties with the touch of your fingers on the bushy bulge behind the front of Brownie's jeans. You have to stifle a groan as your loins come alive, and you pull out and turn onto your side with your hand wedged between your legs, squeezing on nothing as you imagine something satisfyingly hard and hot and thick pushed up inside. You press the corner of your pillow into your mouth and bite hard on it as the faces of them it might be shuffle and morph in your mind's eye. But the orgasm, when it comes, is no violent thing, but only a series of long, gentle shudders that relax you into sleep. And when you wake the next morning, it is with the cold and slightly depressed realization that although you fed your body with fantasies last night, you got no closer to a decision. Because almost any good male body—even those of inappropriate guys—would satisfy Ella physically. But who would be a good personality match for her is still too arbitrary and uncertain. You just weren't thinking of them that way. * * * * * Jared has another video for you this morning, of some goslings on a farm, which you "Ooh" and "Aaah" over appreciatively. On the bus, you get a vivid recollection of your fantasies last night when Cameron drops onto the bench next to you. "You look like you're a million miles away," he says. Indeed, for you are thinking— * "Leave Ella, and let Sydney make a decision for ..." * "Why does Ella need an official boyfriend when a..." * "Any of those guys would do. Just pick one." How the Poll Works To vote in this poll (the Free Poll) click on one of the choices below. To give even more weight to your choice, click on one of the links above (the link you'd like to see continued) and use the "Tip the author!" form at the bottom of the chapter to send the author GPs. In the final vote tally, each vote in the Free Poll will be worth 1/5 the average of the GPs contributed during the round. GPs voted for losing choices will be refunded in full to those who voted. GPs voted for the winning choice will be divided among those who voted for losing choices, in proportion to their share of GPs voted for losing choices. In other words, if you vote GPs for a losing choice, you will get your GPs back and will likely collect a dividend proportional to the size of your GP vote. If you vote for the winning choice, your GPs will count as a kind of commission payment for seeing that storyline continued. This poll will close on Saturday, May 11, at 12:00 PM Eastern Time. |
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