So Alone

A poem that I wrote when I needed my sister the most. But she was far away at the time..

'So Alone'

My mouth is stuffed.
Speak? I cannot.
My ears grow hot,
And my eyes weak.
Hot tears take wing
As my heart cries out
'This is wrong!'

Why have I been left alone?
Alone in this dark place?
Where every turn I take
Makes my innards jump
With agony and fear.

I feel so lost
So lost and so alone.
No one to open my heart to,
No one to lend a ear.

Is this what I wanted to be?
Sad, scared and alone?
Is this my own fault
Or is it Fate to be blamed?

How much longer
Must I endure this
Evergrowing stillness.
This feeling of rejection
And of fear?

I truly wish I had a friend.
One who will not turn away,
But instead hear my woes
And be beside me
At my hour of need.

Yet I cannot find anyone,
Who has this golden heart.
The only one I know,
Has gone so far and far.

And again I must be alone.
Alone here, so alone.
Only with memories
And my thoughts as friends.