Miner's Dilemma

Western Miner meets his match.

Prompt: Write a story in which someone is kicked.


“Aw-right yew stinkin’ mule come on! I’m tired a pullin’ yew ever-whur I go. Fer goshsakes, it’s all downhill!” Gol-durn hard headed shemale varmit. I’d push yew off of this here mountain ledge if yew wuddun such good compnee.

“Come on now Gertrude, I’m tired a tuggin’ on this here harness you ol’ cross-eyed, flea bit excuse for wastin’ store-bought oats. I ought ta have traded ya in on that there quarter horse back in Santa Fe. Yur jus bein’ dis way ‘cause yur carrin’ th' gold an yew know I need ta file a claim.” I know… I got chur thinkin’ down straight on... I know ex-act yur thinkin'... Yur as hard headed as my ma wuz when I pushed her an th' outhouse inta the crick... She never let go of me fer that one... It was only a li'l joke... Ya stubborn half-breed high falootin' varmit. I allus knew I didn’ take to shefolks fer sum reason...

I think I’ll git ‘round ta your backside here fer a minute so’s mebbe I kin push…Don't you git any idees now... “Easy naaow… this here is a skinny ledge an yew ain’t moved in fit-teen minutes so don’ yew move now…at’s right be reeeal still like ‘at there…almost past yur back legs…Well…got aroun, dat wuddun too bad, now ifn’ I kin just climb on top o’dis here rock and git a han-full a yur tail feathers...– KICK!

HO there! WHOA there li'l dumplin, slow down there! I didn’ mean ta kick ya so hard! Easy gerl, yewl fawl off'a dis ledge an’ kill us both… whoa…