First Kiss?

a first kiss, or is it even worth to be considered as one?

First kiss was a blurr
As he knocked me down with force
Burning into my heart
Changing life's own course
A kiss I don't want to remember
Yet, a first kiss that I'll never forget
Something that will always stay with me
A kiss I'll always regret
Even though I was powerless
And weak and very cold
The man still comes to mind
Strong, mean and bold
But now all that is over
So for me what does it mean?
My pain
Whisper to a scream
There's nothing more to gain