What Winter Damns

humorous drive-by assault on old man winter...

Damn the iced land, the great moving
glacier-January all full-up with death rays,
'cause I almost bought me a laugh track, hoping
someone would finally tell me I'm full of shit
if I pushed that button. Winter made me do it,

froze my lips to my eyebrows so I can't see, and I
got a habit of damning what damns me. Under
four feet of snow it'll find me, by the pine tree plotting
all this nonsense revenge. It's making me lie to you.
I built that sinister snow man by your minivan--

popped a cap in him, I did. Showed him how
the audience laughed at the bit of him that melted off,
the girlish yelp that escaped with the steam.
The steady stream of expletives that followed
trickled down the gutters of the neighborhood.