Must I?

An examination of betrayal

What is this pain?
The one eating away at my insides, where merely breathing hurts.
         Why do I feel it?
Well I know why and yet I don't.
Is it possible that I cared for someone so much
                             That their rejection leaves me this way?
Surely not!
Not I.
There are too few who are so close as that.
Or so I think.

But obviously not.

And the anger.
How dare they sneak past my defenses and hurt me this way!
         How did I let them do this to me?
But did they really sneak past?
                             Or was I careless and let them in?
Surely not!
Not I.
I'm not so easily fooled.
I am no fool.

But it seems I am.

Because I dared to care.
Because I dared believe that someone could know me and like me.
Because I listened to others tell me that it's ok to trust.
Because I convinced myself that it was safe to believe.

So,
I must be a fool.
I must be careless.
I must be

         Alone.