Nihilsm realized

I can't even bring myself to scream inside my own fucking head. My own required censor.

I'm tired of hiding
Tongue sore from biting
I want to unleash the crimson rage

My mask of smiles
Goes on for miles
I stare like an arsonist at this page

I give what you can take
Although it may be fake
It's much better than unlocking the cage

I long to be free
Bound by your company
And the paycheck they call wage

I see through all this with what very well may be jaded eyes
The wall I put up, translucent. Hopefully distorting and reflecting lies

Inside me lies a fire. It's one I fear will burn me from within.
The only victim myself. Compared to the alternative, is that truly a sin?

I do not seek companionship. Rather, long for it hopelessly.
I'm afraid to share my soul. I don't want anyone to burn with me.

The question lingers. How long can I expect to win?
This victimless war on emotional human combustion.