Death of innocence

My struggle with childhood abuse

All alone in my bed curled up in a ball,

Listening for his footsteps in the hall.

Only eight or nine and already beaten to the core,

Wishing every night that I was no more.

Are you there God I scream inside my head?

Praying silently for you to strike me dead.

They tell me in church you love all the little children but I think you have forgotten,

The one they say is ugly and call the little bitch that's rotten.

The rip of the belt buckle across my skin.

I fall deeper within myself; wondering what was my sin?

Shhhh don't cry and don't make a sound

As your head bounces off the ground.

The more you cry the angrier he gets

The angrier he gets the more he hits.

I promise I will be good I won't cry.

Please God carry my soul into the sky.

Stop daddy I scream please

As I fall onto my knees.

Blood runs down my legs buttocks and back

As I weaken from this latest attack.

If anyone asks what happened to you, tell them you fell.

Nobody cares so don't you dare tell.