Suicidal Dream

title says it all

I search for strength everyday
I am weak just to afraid to say
Pushed around by lies and drowned in hate
I just can't seem to catch a break
People say I'm a survivor and that I will win this fight but, but try as I might
I am being held down by
Something I can't shake
Oh, it would be easy, so simple, so quick a simple but skillful flick of the wrist and that would be it,
A slice from my elbow down to my hand,
Yes, oh yes that is my Master Plan.
A nice clean cut right down the middle, straight and true, unlike you
Don't try and stop the pain that’s what I like and I'll do it again,
What I likes the control in a world like mine,
WOW, that’s something hard to find,
As my words fill this page I feel it, it's happening again,
The old familiar long time friend,
the time to end it is at hand.
Deeper and deeper I push the blade
I don't want those feelings to get delayed.
I want them, I need them, that electrical high that reaches out and zaps the minds eye.
I search for strength everyday but this time it may just be to late.