Mascara

A poem concerning self-doubt and the fear of being found out.

I am a star.
A bright light.
I am not looked at -
I am seen.
I walk tall,
Head in the clouds,
Feet on the path.
Moving forwards,
Always forwards.
My smile is a beacon
Of confidence.
Dark mascara
Frames my eyes,
Dewed with this knowledge:
The world is mine.
I am who I am.
I am everything.

Until the door closes.

I am not a star.
I am an actress
Without a stage.
I sit
Facing the mirror,
Make-up covering my face.
I am trying to hide.
The tears roll,
Mascara bleeds,
Black lines from eye to chin.
Who am I?
My soul is empty.
Will I ever be . . . ?
An icy hand grips my heart;
Doubt’s hand.
Do they believe me?
I am convincing,
My act is flawless.
I pretend to be whole,
I pretend to be happy,
I pretend to know
Who I am.
Sleep envelops me.

Until the door opens

I am an actress
And I am a star.