Today

One more day sober

  Today I am broken.

Struggling to find the strength to glue the pieces back together.  I'm sober, the withdraws are fading.
Emotions that have been numb for 2 years are emerging. It's too much for me to handle all at once
.
My mind and body can't cope. I consider returning to the emptiness. It's as if I've been in a coma. Everything is new and different.
I have feelings. I have tears.

What have I missed? When did my toddler turn into a boy? When did my husband give up on me? Where are my friends that don't drink to get through the day? I don't know.

I was shattered beyond repair. As much as I hate the raw pain I know I have to push on. It means I'm alive again. I can feel the heartache, the nightmares haunt me once again, I have regrets. Today I cried because I'm broken. Today I smiled because crying is a step closer to being fixed.