Itchy Wedding

Letter to new bride and groom

By the time you read this the day is done, the vows have all been read.

Together forever you swapped the rings, what was going through your heads?

The band sucked ass, the pork was dry, and the booze was watered down.

Why in the fuck did hire Ray Charles to pick out your wedding gown?

I'm not writing this to be a dick, or a sorry sap.

I just need the name of the fat brides maid, that bitch gave me the clap...call me