Wake Up Call

Kids say the darndest things is overplayed, but my daughter never fails to shock me.

She climbs into bed and wriggles between us, her small sturdy body still warm from sleep. I hug her to me, she squirms away and pats my face. "Breakfast time, Mama?"
Joe rolls over and pulls the covers over his head. I ask for just a moment but she pulls the blankets from me and pats my face again.
I manage to get my legs out of bed, feet on the floor. Stumbling to the dresser I hear "Mama, there are holes in your undies."
"I know sweetie, they're just old."
"Maybe your vagina got too fat."
"That's not what happened!"
"Mama, how come your vagina has a mustache?"
I turn to the bed. She's not paying attention anymore, but struggling to unwrap the shaking, snorting lump that is her father. I shake my head and leave the room.