Just a little

A little writing about something that's hard to resist, on one of my bad days.

I got a taste of it. 
Just a little.  A little is okay.
Then I had a little bit more. 
Then just a little bit now and again.
I could have it whenever I wanted it, but I didn’t. 
Only sometimes.  Under the right circumstances…only then.
I could stop whenever I wanted to.  Otherwise I would every time I could.  But I didn’t. 
Just a little bit here, a little bit there.  Then once in a while, I’d go all out…enjoy as much as I could in a weekend.
Those were good weekends.  I miss those weekends.
So then I tried a little at work. 
It made the work day so much better. 
Only once. That’s all. 
Well, only little. 
Just a little. 
Just a little bit more.
Then I knew I had a problem.  I couldn’t say no.  Well I could say no.  Unless I was around him.  Then I couldn’t say no.
So I stopped.  Cold Turkey.  No more.  Keep my distance.  If I’m not around him I won’t want it.
But it didn’t work that way.
I craved it.
I dreamt about it.
I wanted it all the time.
So I contacted him.
Just a taste.  Just a little.  A little is okay.
Just a little bit more.
Just a little.