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Carter and Jack both went through hell and came out the other side changed |
Carter āDo I really have to do this?ā āYes.ā āBut why?ā āBecause I said so.ā Yes this was how a typical conversation between Natalie, my darling friend of over a decade, usually went. Putting up a fight was generally pointless because when it came to making decisions for myself I was not capable of making the right choice according to most people who knew me. āNat itās been a year and a halfā¦ā āWhich is plenty of time and youāre ready to move on Carter Mason.ā She interrupts, confident as always. āMy husband died Natalieā¦Eric thought itād be a good idea to be the brave guy and stop someone from getting mugged like he was god damn Batman or something and it got him killed.ā Yeah it was a bit of a shock for me too. āYou donāt just move on from thatā¦ā āLookā¦ā Natalie comes out of my closet tossing a few dresses on the bed for me and takes a seat, throwing an arm around my shoulder. āI know itās hard and believe me I miss the hell out of Eric too, but you need to suck it up and move on or youāre gonna be alone and miserable forever. No more sitting inside watching Friday Night lights and eating three day old pizza wishing you were dating Tim Riggins because Tim Riggins would avoid dangerous situations like that and get drunk or play football instead.ā āIs this supposed to make me feel better?ā I sometimes wondered what her intentions were when it came to these strange pep talks but she usually eventually got to the point. āOk not necessarily, but ya know what will? Mikeās bestest friend from Ohio who just moved to town a week ago and is looking forward to meeting you.ā I canāt help but roll my eyes at the idea of being set upā¦again. Because as much I loved Natalieās husband Mike, his friends all turned out to be pretty damn lame. Like for instance the orthodontist with the lazy eye who collected insects and treated them like they were his friends. Yes they all had names, from Lord of the Rings naturally, and watched Law and Order reruns on the weekends together in his guest room. āJust give the guy a chance, I mean Jack is really sweet and my god is he gorgeous. And yes Mike is fully aware of my crush on his friend.ā She squeezes my shoulders tighter, trying to be comforting I know then she hops back up to continue helping me choose an outfit. The thing is, I am absolutely dreading this date. Itās nothing personal against Jack, he sounds nice enough but the idea of getting back out there kind of scares the hell out of me. Not that it matters because I clearly donāt have the option of backing out at this point. āAlright so I want you to text me immediately after with all the details.ā She says after about an hour of making me try on every outfit I own. āWill do.ā I say as she hugs me tightly then makes her way out of my room leaving me alone with my thoughts. I can hear her leave and then my roommate Justin making some kind of noise out in the kitchen. āHey whatāre you up to?ā I shout out the door curious. āIām getting ready to go out with Greg.ā He yells back briefly then I hear him slam the door to his room. The two of us have a strange relationship at this point and sometimes I think he hates me, but that could just be the fact that his face is stuck in a permanent pout. I've known him for like a year, we met at the Starbucks on fifth and after we bonded over our love of the musical Wicked he told me that he was looking for someone to move into his place downtown and the rest was history. Mostly he keeps to himself though and sometimes I want to tell him how misleading his first impression had been. I thought Iād have this adorable new gay best friend who went to see Broadway shows with me every weekend just for fun. Unfortunately that has yet to happen. āWell ok thenā¦ā I say as I accept his answer and go get ready since Iām supposed to meet Jack in an hour. Natalie picked out this over the top sexy red dress which I slide into, sucking it in making sure that it fits in all the right places. I guess if Iām going to go out tonight I might as well look awesome. I donāt necessarily feel like I need to impress Jack because I donāt really have much invested in this date but hey itās been awhile since I got dressed up and went to a really nice restaurant. I might as well take advantage of it right? After throwing on some heels I can barely walk in I stop to look in the mirror for a minute, just double checking that I look okay. I look across the room and spot a photo, the only one my family would let me keep up after Eric passed away because needless to say I didn't handle any of it well. They thought by removing all aspects of him from my life that itād make it easier for me to move on. As expected they were wrong. āHow do I look?ā I say as if he were there with me and almost as clear as day I can here him respond. āBeautiful.ā I turn as if half expecting him to be sitting there on the bed, wearing that stupid crooked grin I loved so much, but of course Iām all alone and at this point probably talking to myself. Yep. Itās official. Iām crazy. ~~ Jack āAnthony I told you I have to goā¦ā Why did I move to this damn city with this idiot? I love the guy but Jesus Christ. āLook I totally understand where youāre coming from man, but itās your first Saturday back in the states and Iām just saying you shouldn't waste it with some girl. You should waste it with me and multiple ladies who come with only good times and zero baggage. Come on dude I need a wingman!ā All I can do is laugh and shake my head as I search for my keys, hoping I donāt keep this mysterious Carter Mason waiting too long. The last thing I need to do is make a bad first impression. āListen I get that you want me to have a good time I do, but I already told Mike Iād meet this girl. I canāt just stand her up.ā The baggage he spoke of actually didnāt bother me really. Sheād been married and her husband died a little more then a year ago, I could handle that. Iāve certainly dealt with much worse. āBut I was hoping to use the whole former solider thing to our advantageā¦ā āYeah Iām sure all the girls will dig a guy with one and 3/4 legs who has to see a therapist every week to deal with the emotional trauma of it all, certainly sounds like the perfect way to pick up the ladies.ā I blurt out and regret it immediately. Thatās not what I do, I donāt feel bad for myself. Anthony stops for a second, fully aware the heās struck a nerve. āManā¦you know I donāt mean anything by it. Iām just trying to help.ā He apologizes and I just shake my head. āNo, donāt worry about it. Iām sorry I canāt go out tonight buddy, maybe tomorrow?ā Anthony nods but I can see Iāve bummed him out and Iām a little pissed I said those things. I try not to bring that stuff up but sometimes it just slips and I canāt help but sound like Iām throwing some type of pity party for myself. āLook Iām sorry I really have to go, I donāt want Sam to think Iām standing her up.ā āWell at least do one thing man.ā āWhatās that?ā āTry to have some god damned fun.ā I laugh at his response but heās right. Itās been awhile since I actually loosened up and just had a good time. Hopefully Carter is willing to do the same thing. I know she went through something pretty intense herself and I canāt help but wonder what sheās going to be like. I honestly canāt recall the last date that Iād been on before my third tour in Iraq, the one that lost me part of my right leg. I certainly wasnāt the same guy anymore but maybe that wasn't a bad thing. Maybe this new Jack knows how to have fun with a girl without worrying about when that damn phone would ring, telling me I was leaving the states again. At this point when it came to relationships all I was accustomed to were expiration dates. I hadn't gotten attached to anyone because I couldn't, but now with this injury I was done. My days as a soldier were over for good so who knows? Maybe Iāll get a chance at a normal, civilian life. The thing was, do I even want that? |