Soap in My Eyes.

The weirdest bath an accountant took.

Word Count: 998

I desperately clawed at my apartment’s door, trying to keep hold of my plastic bags and groceries, as I hastily unlocked the door. The neighbour was on his way out of his own apartment. Sighing like I was some failed soap opera playing before a soccer game. Sometimes I wonder if he hated me, or pitied me… It was probably both. The sun was finally setting after a long day at the accountant office, and I was oddly excited.

Why, you ask? Well, you probably didn’t ask but, I’ll tell you anyway. Today I’ve decided to treat myself for a change. To feel a little bit of childish glee and relax after being low-key rejected by everyone I talk to.

I’m going… to have…

A bubble bath!

I know, it was pretty silly of me to get excited over a bubble bath. And, I probably shouldn’t use it considering I didn’t buy it off the store. But, how could I not? The woman who gave it to me was pretty nice… Under that green cloak.

“It’s like being in another universe!” She said. I- I somehow believed her. I don’t know why.

I just want a bubble bath, that’s all. If my skin starts acting up, the phone is right next to the bath tub, and it’s not that hard to dial 999! It’s the same button three times. I can’t get that wrong. I started the water, letting it fill half the tub as I take a quick shower under the adjacent cubicle. I wasn’t going to bath in a water of my own sweat and germs… That sounded disgusting. Once it was filled halfway, I poured (probably too much) soap into the water, and awkwardly wavered my hands beneath it. Almost instantly, heavy foams started to form above the surface, completely covering every inch of the tub.

I couldn’t wait. The water was scorching hot on my skin, but I figured it was better to rip the plaster right off, instead of doing it painfully slow. It burned, but it was a good burn. I gathered the bubbles, flailing my hands around like an idiot, letting it fly all over the place. I’m almost thirty years old, I shouldn’t be doing this… But you only live once yeah?

I laid comfortably on surface of the tub. It felt like the water was rising slightly, and I turned to turn it off…

It wasn’t on.

The water was rising on its own.

I started getting up, but even as I extended my legs beneath me, it didn’t even look like I was standing at all. I was still underwater! The depth of the tub was dropping at an alarming rate, and I tried to float above water as best as I could. I was a bad swimmer, and the bubbles engulfed me like a cloud of doom. It got into my eyes, and I shut it in pain. It stung so much, and I lost concentration. I curled underwater, trying to wipe the soap off, despite it being useless in a tub made of water and soap. The walls were around me no more; a current pushed me further down the dark depths of the water, spitting me out naked upon an open sky? I gasped out a scream to the birds as I fell at full velocity.

“WHAT IS—WHAT??!”

I turned in all directions, overwhelmed by the air resisting my body and blowing every drop of water off my skin. My hair was probably a curly short hobbit-like mess right then, but that wasn’t a priority as you’d understand. A woman appeared next to me, smiling as if we weren’t falling to our awful lonely deaths.

“Hello there! Welcome to Sassaya! I hope you enjoyed your bath?!” She waved at me, and with a snap of her fingers, a green cloak formed around my body. I looked at her in disbelief.

“WHAT?!”

“Ah, yes! Indeed!” She giggled, falling further down towards the fall that never seemed to end. She turned upside down, facing me. “Listen! If you want to stay here, I suggest you keep that cloak on! As long as you’re wearing it, you’ll remain here! Take it off, and you’re never coming back!”

“WH-“

“Good luck!” She disappeared.

I just kept screaming.

The floor was inching close in the space of a couple microseconds. I panicked! She said I’d be out if I took the stupid cloak off, and I didn’t want no more of this weird place. The entire world laid beneath me, the colours of it were sickeningly bright. Is this how main movie characters feel when they get thrown off into a fantasy world? Do they feel curiosity? There was a castle somewhere north of me, and a forest underneath. There was probably a king there with a quest to defeat a dragon and become the hero of the multiverse.

I didn’t ask for that though, I just wanted a bubble bath.

I couldn’t take it. I want none of this. This isn’t real, but, this is way too cruel for a dream! Why do people dream of nonsense, and I get thrown naked down a bathtub without a parachute?? As if that makes sense!

I took the cloak off. And in an instant, I was floating mid-air, the world slowing down to grey around me. Water sprouted around my feet, and I splashed right into it, a deep blue abyss making the world around me vanish into nothing. The water started stinging my eye again, and I forcefully shut it closed. A current pushed me up this time, and my head turned left and right as if my neck wasn’t even there to support it. I wanted nothing but to projectile vomit my nausea away.

As I was coughed like some human-phlegm, my head finally left the surface of the tub. The bubbles were all around me, and I couldn’t see a thing. The soap was in my eyes.