The Impatient Princess

It's not nice to keep the Princess waiting... A Humorous Poetry Entry (Form: Ottava Rima)

The Impatient Princess


Okay! That’s it! I’ve waited long enough.
So, just where the hell is my charming Prince?
My butt is sore. These stones are very rough.
“Meet me,” he says. I haven’t seen him since.
All dressed up, sneaking past the guards is tough.
If he’s forgotten, I’ve ways to make him wince,
leaving me in the cold, sitting by a well.
If he doesn’t show soon, I’ll make his life hell.

I've spent hours sitting while servants comb my hair.
If I wait much longer, I’ll look like a witch
from sitting here as it frizzes in the air.
It’ll serve him right, the sonuvabitch!
Okay, calm down… There’s no need to despair
but his passion plans have run into a glitch.
I am sure he had this evening all planned
but the only love he’ll get is in his hand!

Doesn’t he realize my Dad’s the King
and I can have him chained and thrown in jail?
He’s treating me like I’m some kind of fling.
He won't have a prayer of making bail.
I’ll have his nuts lopped off, I’m not joking.
Oh hell, I think I just broke a damn nail!
That’s it – I’m not waiting any later.
I guess it’s just you and me, Prince Vibrator.

An entry for the July round of "The Humorous Poetry Contest" 
Prompt: Open
Form: Ottava Rima  
Line Count: 24