Gradebuster (Malcolm In the Middle)

1st revision

I’ve never written fan fiction before, but I found myself inspired by a prompt I stumbled upon on the website:

"A teacher disrespects students and wastes their time with off-topic rants. One student talks to his parents, and they agree the teacher's behavior is too disruptive to the learning environment. They help their son set up an independent study plan for the topic. Their son forms a study group with some classmates who also want to drop the course. Word quietly spreads, and more students form their own study groups. The next time the teacher gives an annoying off-topic lecture, the entire class walks out.."

Gotta start somewhere, so I drafted a short opening scene to get some feedback and hopefully learn a bit about comedy writing. If I’m missing the mark or this feels too on the nose, let me know! Brutal honesty is always appreciated. I know I'm no Simpsons screenwriter but that is not the goal.

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INT. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY

REESE (V.O.)
(walking to his psych class with a spring in his step)
This is it. One semester. One class. One stupid C, and I get the car. I can do this.

HERKABE
(sitting on the edge of his desk, sneering as Reese shuffles in)
Well, well, well. Look who decided to grace us with his presence. A ghost from the past. I’m genuinely amazed you remembered where the classroom is.

REESE (V.O.)
(smile falters)
Oh no, not this lunatic—

REESE
Wait. I thought Mrs. Partridge taught this class.

HERKABE
(rising, grinning)
Mrs. Partridge is on maternity leave. I’m her replacement.
But rest assured, Reese — the disappointment is mutual.
(darkens)
Now, sit down.

(Reese slumps into his seat and pulls out his textbook.)

REESE (V.O.)
Don’t let him get to you. Focus. Just get the stupid C. Get the car. It’s not that hard.
(opens the textbook, frustrated)
“Di...ssociative...Identity Disorder...DID.”
Did what? Ugh, stupid book.

HERKABE (ranting)
You see, this generation is the product of participation trophies, instant gratification, and whatever passes for parenting these days. The real plague isn’t ignorance. It’s mediocrity. (His gaze lands on Reese.)

REESE
Is this gonna be on the test?

HERKABE
(leaning in, patronizing)
No, Reese. Thinking will never be on your test.
I wouldn’t want to burden you with impossible standards.

REESE
(confused)
So… no?

(A beat. Herkabe straightens, smirking.)

HERKABE
I envy your clarity. The real question is: what test are we talking about here?
Because if we’re talking about the test of Life, then—

REESE
(cutting in, dead serious)
I’m talking about Tuesday’s test.

HERKABE
(matter-of-fact)
It doesn’t matter. You’re failing both.

REESE
(panicking)
Wait, what?! No! I need to pass! Why don’t you just tell us what’s on the test?!

HERKABE
Of course. You’d like that.
Lazy parasites. Cheat codes! Hacks!
Might I suggest the revolutionary and radical method of showing up and studying?

REESE
I’m trying! But I’ve got, like, ten minutes of focus a day — max — and you haven’t even started the lesson!
When do we actually talk about psychology?!

HERKABE
Oh, but we are. Right now.
This is psychology.
The psychology of decay.
A generation’s worth of therapy bills.
A shining example of the sunk cost fallacy.

REESE
Okay but like… what chapter is that?

HERKABE
Chapter? You think the human mind can be reduced to bullet points?
No, Reese — this is the real world and... (his voice distorts. Words melt into incoherent gibberish as Reese desperatly slumps in his seat, his brain shutting down)

REESE (V.O.)
(beat, a soft whimper)
I should’ve picked woodshop.

(The bell rings. Students instantly bolt for the door.)

HERKABE (CONT'D)
Class dismissed. Time to return to your meaningless lives.

(He strolls back to his desk. Reese slumps lower.)

(A kid leans over to Reese, deadpan.)

KID
Last semester, it was about his ex-wife. Can’t blame her. I’d divorce him too.

(Students scramble out.)

HERKABE (calling out)
You’re all welcome, by the way.

REESE
(low, to himself)
I am so screwed.