Let it sink

A reflective piece on my recent burnout

Let it be. Let it sink.

I will let go. I will accept that I'm not a hero or some invincible person who can take everything and keep moving forward. Because I am not, and that's human. I will stop paddling, fixing holes, and desperately trying to reach a destination that I've convinced myself I need to get to. How silly and naive to underestimate how harsh life can be and overestimate my own strength.

I once thought I didn't believe in the clich"you can do anything if you set your mind to it," but everything in me was wired to that belief, subconsciously, until I cracked. There's no destination--it's all an illusion. There's only the present moment, and that's the revelation. Right now, I'm paddling, fixing holes, and my body has cracked, so I'm sinking. So let it sink. Let me drown. Let everything drown, because that's the reality I refused to accept.

I was meant to drown. So let me float and enjoy the water. Maybe... I don't know a thing, and that is the point of it. I will let go and let life choose my destination, because I surrender.

Because I surrender, I give in. I will just spread my arms and legs above the water and close my eyes. There is no boat, no destination, no noise--just water and me above it, and the sun. And it is enough for the moment.