4 years of my life

A love letter to someone who'll never hear it

I think the saddest thing I just realized is I know I'll have wasted 4 years of my life on this man, but for some reason I don't feel like I want to change that. It's beautiful yet sad. I can't get him off my mind yet I'm never in his. He's like the mold in my house and I'm just a passing bird on the outside, seen yet never really acknowledged.


I would compare him to the sun but that'd be insulting, he can't be compared to anything any human would be able to comprehend. He's something so close yet so far and I can't help but want to reach towards it, only getting glances in comparison and I savor those as if they're the stars themselves. Vast yet small. I know how he feels about me yet I can't help but whisper his name at night like a sacred decree I can't deny. He cycles constantly through my mind, never missing a day where my heart aches that I cannot hold him, I can't be the thing he cherishes and I know I never will be.


And yet, I don't want to stop, I want to waste 4 years of my life on him. I want to be the little bird he'll barely notice outside his window, cause for a second, i know he'll see me and that's all i want.