What do you do

A questioning, a disappointment

What do you do faced with you shadow, not because you dare look at it
not because you've dared unpacking it
but because it's been allowed to arise, act
and is now laughing you in the face

What do you do when you feel the tremors of stress build from deep within,
when you hear those anxiety-inducing voices start whispering
soon screaming

What do you do when everything you believed crumbles
and the life you live is not only not at all what you ever wanted
but has catapulted you somewhere you've no clue how to return from,
and return where, rejecting home and mother, there is no home
and no mother

What do you do when the personal crisis you found yourself in
doesn't seem to stop, only evolve
as if beaten and bloodied, laid in a corner refusing to move
for all directions feel unsafe and wrong

I can feel the chains of my thinking tightening in
and I feel very sick