The Pizza Debate

Five people debate what type of pizza they should order.

“I can’t wait to get my hands on that mushroom pizza on the menu!” I said, looking at a restaurant's app.

“It looks so good!” Brian agreed, looking at it with me.

“Bro, mushrooms on pizza?" Sebastian leaned against the dining room table. "Gross. How about pineapples?”

“P-P-Pineapples?" Brian stood up from his seat with a disgusted look on his face. "That’s not healthy!”

Sebastian frowned. “Sure, it is. It adds sweetness. Mushrooms add nothing.”

“Y’all are both wrong,” Randy countered, coming into the dining room and leaning against a chair. “I like my pizza spicy with red hot peppers!”

“Are you crazy?!” I cried, standing up.

“Guys, come on. Nothing beats pepperoni.” Brian said.

“Bro, that topping gets stale," Randy said. "That’s why I love my peppers!”

“Pepperoni’s fine, but it’s not complete without sausage,” Sebastien said.

“Sausage? Are you serious?” I exclaimed.

“Is anybody ever happy here?” Brian asked. “Look. How about a bit of everything? You know: pepperoni, sausage, bell peppers, jalapeno, garlic, spinach-”

“No!” we all shouted.

“Gentlemen, gentlemen,” Marie said, coming in to join us. “If we can’t agree on a topping, why not get our own?”

"I don't have enough money to buy my own," Brian said. "I'd rather share with you guys."

The rest of us echoed the same thing.

"Fine," Marie said calmly. "How about we all get a plain pizza?"

"Plain?" Sebastian exploded.

"Boring," Brian said.

"Bro, I want my peppers!" Randy shouted.

"Forget it!" I shouted. "How about no pizza at all?"

"No!" Sebastian whined.

"Come on," Brian protested.

"I want my peppers!" Randy barked.

Marie sighed, then her eyes lit up. "I know! How about ice cream?"

"Ooh! I'll get chocolate!" Sebastian cheered.

"Yes! Vanilla!" Brian said.

"I'm gettin' me Rocky Road," Randy declared.

Marie and I got strawberry.

~

Originally published on Medium

https://medium.com/fiction-shorts/the-pizza-debate-4e77891c2e7f