Danica #1687 in Elysium; Part 3

This is Ch. C and Ch. 3 of my WIP. It's 4794 words

Chapter C

Journaling Exercise

Although All-Wise has designed Elysium to be as stress-free a utopia as possible, there are moments when we might get filled with anxiety. Not just anxiety, but outright fear!

Has anything scary ever happened to you? Write about it!

I can think of a few scary moments, but one of the most terrifying was what happened to my father. I was six.
I was in the Play Pod with my siblings when my mother rushed in. I had never seen her as stressed and in tears. She said something horrible happened to my father, but she couldn’t say what it was.

Her refusal to say anything more made it clear to me that something exceptional had happened. I looked back to my siblings on the way out and they were all concerned.

We ended up in the Hospital Pod where a large group of adults was crowded around one of the beds. I couldn’t see past them, but when they saw us they gave way.

My father was rocking back-and-forth with his head down and was saying the same thing over and over again in some kind of catatonic state. I listened intently to hear what he was saying, but I couldn’t make sense of it.

One of my uncles asked him what was wrong, and, if I had to guess, the word he was saying over and over was “mirror.” Nobody knew why.

Somebody used some kind of handheld device to scan my father’s brain, and said that my father had gone almost completely brain-dead. He specifically said it was almost as if my father’s “soul” had been taken.

My aunts consoled my crying mother and someone asked All-Wise what was wrong with my father, but All-Wise couldn’t offer any kind of treatments or alleviations.

Somebody then had the idea to ask my father, “Who did this to you?”

My father stopped rocking and glanced up. I swear that for a few brief moments he stared at me, but then he shuddered and started to rock again.

He then started to say the same three syllables over and over again.

“Loo… sea…fur… loo… sea… fur… loo… sea… fur…”

None of us could make any sense out of the name, “Lucy Ferr.” I suppose it could also be, “Lue Sefer,” but that doesn’t make sense, either. All-Wise has said that there are some women in Elysium with the name, “Lucy,” but that other syllable makes no sense at all.

Anyway, it was a terrifying experience. I would say one of the reasons it was so scary was because it was the first time I had seen my family members in a hysterical, confused state of mind. Up to that point, all of the adults I knew were competent at solving any and every problem that had come up over the course of my short life. To this day, All-Wise hasn’t provided any kind of meaningful answer to any of us, either.

Chapter 3

“Danica…”

Danica stirred in bed.
“Danica…”

Danica groggily opened her eyes. Was she still drunk? Just how much time had transpired? The music had stopped playing, so it must have been a while. Still, she didn’t feel completely sober.

“What is it, All-Wise? I’m still mad at you for lying to me like I were a stupid child.”

“I am sorry to wake you, but I knew you would regret sleeping instead of attending the celebration with your siblings in the Lounge Pod. It starts in ten minutes.”

“Oh, darn.”

Danica thought briefly about if she would bother attending. Considering how dejected she was, she would prefer to drink by herself. What would Gavin say about this, though? It felt customary among the siblings to always celebrate the release of their new novels into the Library. She didn’t want to risk disappointing Gavin by breaking tradition, but the task of putting up a sociable facade with her siblings was too difficult in her drunken state.

“All-Wise?”

“Yes, Danica?”
“Can you send a message to Gavin saying I’m just very upset about something and don’t want to be a downer to everyone?”

“Will do.”

Danica slowly got out of bed, but then stumbled when she realized she was more drunk than originally thought. Her stomach growled and felt like a pit. She put on her slippers and sauntered into the restroom to relieve her bladder and brush her teeth. Afterwards, she went to the kitchen and dispensed a bowl of chowder to fill up her rumbling stomach. Eating sobered her up a little bit, but she was aware that she was still drunk.

Thinking about why she had chosen to drink by herself, which was a very rare occurrence for her, she reminisced to the shame of Roland saying her writing was trash. How could he be so cruel? He must have really hated reading, critiquing, and editing her previous novels if he was willing to finally crush her spirits over the third one.

These thoughts prompted Danica to question All-Wise about Roland’s motivation.

“All-Wise?”

“Yes, Danica?”

“Why did Roland have to be so cruel? Why does he hate me so much?”

“Danica, I do not think Roland hates you at all. He hates your writing, but he does not recognize your merit. Though he has written his own novels, he makes the conscious decision not to share his work because, from what I can gather, he is a perfectionist that can not tolerate criticism himself.

“In my opinion, you should feel proud of yourself for being willing to share your work with as many people willing to read it. Since writing is a form of communication, this shows more dedication to your craft than what Roland displays.”

“But even still, why was he so cruel?”

“I am sure at some point you have come across the phrase, ‘those who can not do it themselves, teach.’ I am certain that Roland has inadequacies in his own writing that he will never receive feedback for. He might recognize these issues, but he will never make the effort to fix them and instead choose to live vicariously through Gavin and Mary’s writing. In other words, he would feel slighted if you succeeded at becoming a better writer than any of his children.”

Danica only perked up a little bit, but it still didn’t change the fact that her writing was trash. Though violent things happen in her novels, that violence was never graphic because she wrote her novels to have as much mass appeal to every possible audience. If Roland had really hated reading her novels so much, then she had failed in her attempt to please an ordinary person who took the time to read her work.

In the end, Danica chose not to dwell on writing anymore. It was finished; done. Her third novel was hastily published; her self-insert was seemingly dead forever; and the fictional world she had created, Aukardia, was destined to be enveloped in darkness from the Chaos Demon. She was done being a writer and would have to find a new purpose in life.

But what would that be? As far as romance was concerned, the only person she had ever had any feelings for, Gavin, didn’t feel the same way; in a crushing blow to Danica’s self-esteem, he actually preferred to meet women in the Social Pod instead of at least trying to have a relationship with her. Though where this sentiment came from was hard to say, it was shameful (especially for a woman) to go to the Social Pod. From the talk of the adults she had heard while growing up, the Social Pod was a den of sexual immorality. There was no realistic justification for anyone to choose to pick a mate there when there was always at least one sibling available from the generational groups of siblings.

Danica had never even bothered to try to go to the Social Pod, and, for her, it was a matter of pride that she would adamantly refuse to do so while Gavin was still available. Sooner or later, he would cave and at least do Danica the favor of taking her virginity. Until then, all she could do was socialize with her family members.

Socializing; if she weren’t a drunken mess at the moment, then she could force herself to do that. As it stood, she didn’t want to be around anyone else. That meant she may as well drink more by herself. Danica went to the refrigerator and got yet another cooler to continue her drunken spree. She sat on the edge of her bed and started to gulp down the cooler when All-Wise interrupted her thoughts.

“Danica?”
“Yes, All-Wise?”

“Gavin #1687 is at the door of your pod and wishes to see you.”

“Huh? Ok, let him in, I guess.”

Danica wasn’t sure what to expect from Gavin. Why had he gone out of his way to come see her when he should be at the Lounge Pod ready to celebrate with their other six siblings? Upon entry, Gavin walked up to Danica’s bed to stand in front of her and addressed the matter immediately.

“Danica, why in Elysium don’t you feel like joining us for our celebration tonight?”

Danica was certainly attracted to Gavin’s appearance (more so than her other three brothers); he had a medium-sized frame, buzzed blond hair, and blue eyes. These features, combined with a direct, to-the-point attitude, made it so that Danica looked up to him as the “coolest” of the four brothers. To finally have an intimate relationship with someone she admired in such a way would certainly lift Danica’s shaky self-esteem.

In regard to Gavin (or anyone else) being attractive, everyone in Elysium that wasn’t elderly was conventionally attractive. It would be considered exceptionally incompetent of All-Wise to create an ugly person.

“I… I just don’t…”

“Have you been drinking by yourself? Did something happen?”

One quality Danica liked about Gavin was that he was her best friend; whether or not Gavin saw her in the same way was something she didn’t know. This didn’t change the fact that she liked that she could open up to him and talk about anything and everything without feeling ashamed.

“Yes,” Danica muttered. “Yeah, something happened.”

“What?”

“Well, it’s just... is my writing bad?”

Gavin did a double-take and asked, “Where did you get that idea?”

Danica broke eye contact. “Your father.”

“What? Why would he ever say that?”

Danica took a swig of her cooler and said, “He doesn’t want to help read or edit my work anymore. He admitted he thinks it’s trash.”

Gavin’s eyes narrowed. “And you believed him? Dani, if you attend the celebration tonight, I’ll prove your writing is good.”

“How?”

“I’ll ask all six of our siblings, flat out, if they think your writing is good. I guarantee they’ll all say so.”

Danica felt a pit in her stomach and said, “No, you don’t have to do that. It’s pointless to dwell on and-”

Gavin shook his head and gripped her free hand to pull her up from the bed and lead her with him. “I’m serious, Dani, we can ask all six of them and All-Wise Himself. Also, my father and mother said they’d show up at some point in the night. I’ll tell him off myself when he arrives because he’s wrong.”

Danica stood up, but said, “No, please don’t mention it to him at all. I don’t want to cause trouble and-”

“It’s no trouble at all. I-”

Danica shook her head and adamantly said, “I don’t want you to say anything to Uncle Roland.”

Gavin sighed and said, “Alright, but will you please attend so we can all celebrate together?”

Danica sighed and agreed to attend the celebration. As always, Gavin was the most supportive and reassuring person in her life. His encouragement made her feel capable of triumphing over any problem at all; normally, she happened to have very little faith in herself or her abilities.

***

In the middle of the Lounge Pod stood a large rectangular white table with short legs. Up against one of the pod’s walls was a refrigerator that dispensed coolers and up against the opposite wall was a shelving unit that had a collection of various board and card games. The speaker system was playing a symphony at a low enough volume that didn’t interfere with conversation. When Danica and Gavin arrived, they were greeted by two of their siblings, Aliza and Ronald, that were already seated hand in hand together on a couch with open coolers in their free hands. On the side of the table that was opposite them rested a nearly full cooler that Gavin had left behind when he had gone to get Danica. Ronald had shamelessly reclined one of his legs and stretched it out across the table.

The public display of affection of Aliza and Ronald holding hands was not unique to just them; most of the couples in Elysium would do this. Seeing this would sometimes make Danica feel upset since there had been one, and only one, time when Gavin had ever done that with her. Unfortunately, it had been during an exceptional circumstance.

“Well, there she is! We got worried you weren’t showing up when All-Wise sent that message to us,” Aliza said.

Aliza’s chubby cheeks made her appear more youthful compared to her three sisters. She had long, curled strawberry blonde hair and deep blue eyes.

“It’s ok, I talked her into it,” said Gavin.

Danica gave a fake smile to put on the air that she was fine, but both Aliza and Ronald weren’t convinced.

“Are you ok, Dani?” asked Aliza. “You don’t look so hot.”

“Yeah, what’s going on?” added Ronald.

Ronald, though still white like everyone else in Elysium, had a skin tone that was a slightly darker shade of tan than most of his siblings. He had short-cut black hair and dark brown eyes. He was the tallest and most lanky of the siblings. Although he had been an unruly and aggressive child (he had bullied Danica quite a bit), he had matured to be just as supportive as the other siblings.

“It’s just…”

Gavin interrupted Danica and said, “Guys, we were wondering: is Dani’s writing good?”

Aliza answered, “Of course it’s good. I personally prefer the contemporary stories she wrote before her fantasy novels, but I’m sure you and Mary will say the fantasy stuff is good, right?”

“Yeah, Danica,” began Ronald. “Your writing is far better than mine ever was.”

“There, see?” Gavin said to Danica. “They both said it’s good.”

Danica slightly cheered up and said, “Thanks, guys.” Though Aliza strongly preferred reading stories set in Elysium, her continued support was a pleasant reminder of the support she had given Danica after the first novella Danica had written when she was ten. As for Ronald, he was the least ambitious of the eight siblings and only bothered to read something if it was published by one of his siblings. Still, his support was appreciated.

Aliza said, “You’re welcome,” while Ronald gave a reassuring nod after taking a swig from his cooler.

“Anyway, do you want a cooler, Dani?” Gavin asked next. It seemed like Gavin was planning to placate Danica by waiting on her since he could tell she still wasn’t as cheerful as she normally would be on a night like this.

“Yeah, sure.”

Danica sat down on the couch opposite Aliza and Ronald while Gavin went to the refrigerator to get a cooler. He came back to the couch, gave it to her, then sat down with a breadth of space in between.

Listening briefly to the music, Danica asked, “Aliza, is this a new symphony?”

Aliza shook her head. “No. It’s my fourth. I’ve been working a lot on a new one, but this lazy slog,” here, she let go of Ronald’s hand to poke him in the ribs, “has been making me take care of Patrick and Irene while he just lies around drinking.”

The criticism that Ronald was forcing Aliza to pick up his slack raising their two children didn’t bother him because he gave a rebellious smirk.

“You know,” began Aliza, “I sometimes consider you two to be the lucky ones since you don’t have to deal with the responsibility of raising kids.”

Both Danica and Gavin scowled at that remark. Ronald moved his hand over to pinch Aliza on the thigh, which caused her to lightly slap away his hand.

Though child-rearing was not necessarily a taboo topic, it was cruel to bring the matter up to Danica in such a way. As a child, she had primarily fantasized about having a monogamous relationship with Gavin; these fantasies didn’t include motherhood, but it was a responsibility she was willing to take up since it felt customary to raise at least two of the eight children that were birthed after her generation. Gavin had defiantly robbed Danica of that by not pairing up with her then; this prompted two of their siblings, Mary and Garret, to raise four children instead of two.

As for now, Danica was happy to at least be the fun aunt for the eight children that were being raised by her siblings. Gavin disregarded being much of an uncle for these children, so Danica assumed he saw little joy at the role of being a father; this was probably another reason why he didn’t immediately pair up with Danica, that and...

“Everyone,” All-Wise’s voice said as He interrupted both the symphony and the opportunity to address Aliza’s insensitive comment, “Jayne #1687 and Arc #1687 are at the door wishing to enter.”

“Let them in,” Gavin said.

“Hey, congratulations,” Jayne cheerfully said to Gavin as soon as she entered.

“Yeah, good job on the novel, Gavin,” Arc said.

Gavin smiled and thanked them both.

Jayne had blond hair in a shoulder-length bob cut and blue eyes. She had an oblong face, bangs, and was the tallest of the four sisters.

Arc was the smallest of the four brothers. He had wavy brown hair, blue eyes, and a face that was so youthful that it appeared at first glance he was only fifteen years old instead of nineteen. He was usually more quiet and introverted than his siblings, although he did seem to have a good relationship with Jayne. Both Jayne and Arc were digital artists.

As Jayne and Arc grabbed coolers for themselves and sat down on one of the two empty couches, Jayne asked, “What were you guys talking about?”

Gavin answered, “We were talking earlier about Dani’s writing. Do you guys think it’s good?”

“Yeah,” Arc answered, “I wouldn’t read her stuff if I didn’t like it.”

“Yeah, I think it’s good, too,” followed up Jayne.

Aliza piped in and said, “Well, see, even Her Royal Highness thinks Dani’s writing is good.”

Jayne’s face twisted and she said with a whine, “Come on, I told you guys to stop calling me that!”

All eyes were on Jayne and her flustered reaction. Aliza giggled childishly, Ronald chuckled, while Danica and Gavin both smiled. This moment of levity briefly distracted Danica from her earlier feelings of shame.

As children, Jayne was raised as an “only child” with a pair of very permissive parents. This meant that, at least as a child, she was more spoiled and selfish than her siblings. This disposition led to the inside joke that Jayne was in some way royalty. Even though they had all been adults for seven years, the inside joke stayed (much to Jayne’s annoyance).

Gavin then said, “There, see, Dani, they both like your writing, too.”

“Ok,” Danica said, “Thank you, everyone.” Between Jane and Arc, Arc was the only one of them that had any experience of writing at all since his parents, Roland and Harriet, had unsuccessfully tried to mold him into a writer. Still, the support was appreciated and by this point, Danica felt slightly better since drinking by herself and was more confident in her skills.

Jayne took a swig of her cooler and brushed her bangs out of her eyes. “Speaking of writing, is Mary ever going to finish Tempest of Winter? It’s been six months; I want to know how that series is going to end.”

Ronald replied snidely, “They have four kids to deal with. What do you expect?”

“Even still, she got mad at me the last time I asked. Is she even working on it?”

Ronald shook his head in exasperation.

Danica said to Jayne, “I talked to Uncle Roland today; he mentioned she sent him a chapter to look over, so that means she had to have at least finished the first draft.”

“Good.” Jayne then leaned back, gave a satisfied smile, and took a swig of her cooler. As for Arc, he had bent forward from his seat to rest one of his elbows on the table and relaxed his chin in his hand as if lost in thought.

All-Wise then announced Mary and Garret’s presence at the door. As they entered, it was apparent that the demands of parenthood made them both sluggish and exhausted at this time of night.

Mary, though she had long and straight brown hair, preferred to dye it bright pink. She had brown eyes and had a skin tone that was slightly darker than Ronald’s.

Garret was quite large, had a square jaw, and had brown eyes with short-cut brown hair. He was considered the most mature of the eight siblings and if he weren’t so dedicated towards raising the four children, then Mary would never have an opportunity to read or write anything.

After a quick round of greetings, Mary said to Gavin, “Hey, congratulations on the new novel. Hopefully, I can make time to read it.”

“Thanks, Mary,” said Gavin.

Garret said, “Yeah, good job as always.”

Gavin smiled and nodded to Garret.

Mary sat down on the last of the four couches and Garret got two coolers from the refrigerator before taking a seat next to her.

“So,” began Mary, “what were you guys talking about?”

Ronald pointed at Jayne and said, “The princess there asked about Tempest of Winter.”

Mary turned on Jayne and practically yelled, “I told you it will be done when it’s done! Stop rushing me!”

Jayne quivered and said, “Hey, I wasn’t going to say anything to you about it; don’t get mad at me.”

Mary muttered something under her breath and drank a heavy swig from her cooler.

Gavin said, “Mary, Garret, I asked everyone else, and I wanted to ask you too: is Dani’s writing good?”

Mary’s eyes narrowed at Gavin and she said, “Of course it’s good; what kind of stupid question is that?”

“I was just-”

Mary looked at Danica and said, “Dani, did something happen?”

Danica said, “Well, yes, it’s just that…”

“‘It’s just’ what?”

“Nevermind. Let’s just forget about it.”

Mary was about to continue, but Garret cut her off. “In case you wanted my opinion, I also enjoy your writing.”

At this, Gavin faced Danica and smiled. “There. See, Dani? I too recognize your talent as a writer. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t read your novels.”

“Speaking of which,” Mary interjected, “I saw in the Library that you had published your third novel today without saying anything. There’s a note from All-Wise saying that the author, you, published it hastily in an incomplete state and may choose to go back and rectify that with a second edition.”

Danica squirmed; she had not considered the fact that any of her siblings would already have known what she had done and couldn’t think of an adequate response.

Aliza was puzzled and asked, “Why in Elysium would you do that, Dani? Were you trying to one-up Gavin?”

“No, I was drunk,” Danica admitted.

“You were drinking by yourself?” Garret asked with a slight frown as he looked at Danica with concern.

“Yes, but I feel much better now and want to celebrate with you guys. This is Gavin’s night.”

Danica smiled and the matter was finally dropped. She felt much better since earlier and was questioning if she should continue on with her writing. To have the support of all seven of her siblings felt like a weight being lifted off her shoulders since her meeting with Roland.

“So, Gavin,” began Jayne, “what’s the new novel about?”

“Well-” Gavin started.

“Don’t answer that!” Garret quickly interjected. “I like to go in blind with the things I read. No spoilers.”

“Yeah,” said Gavin, “I can’t spoil it. You’ll have to read it yourself.”

“Oh, poo,” muttered Aliza. “I at least wanted to know if this one is part of the same universe as one of your other ones or if it’s a stand-alone story.”

Mary then said, “I’m more interested in learning about his secret weapon.”

Danica was perplexed. Secret weapon? She had never heard this before at all.

Ronald was also confused and asked, “What about a secret weapon?”

Gavin smiled and said, “Well, I had an ulterior motive for this party tonight… I met someone.”

Danica’s elation over her seven siblings telling her that her writing was good immediately soured upon hearing that.

Aliza lit up and said, “Well, congratulations.”

“Good for you,” followed up Ronald.

Arc straightened up and smiled. “That’s good news.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Gavin,” Jayne said gently.

Hearing the approval from some of her siblings of Gavin’s new relationship only added to Danica’s intense displeasure. Mary and Garret appeared to recognize this because they were watching Danica and remained silent.

Gavin then said, “Thank you, everyone. I know you guys and everyone else might think lowly of me for going to the Social Pod, but it’s really not as bad a place as you think. The woman I met there is admittedly a little weird, but she’s helped me tremendously as a writer.”

“How did she help you?” asked Jayne.

Gavin gave a devious smile and said, “I can’t tell you unless she chooses to tell you herself. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be a ‘secret weapon,’ now would it?”

“Oh, come on!” Aliza said. “You can’t tease us like this!”

Arc then asked, “So this woman is also a writer? What’s her name so I can check out what she’s published?”

Gavin answered, “She’s kind of secretive about her writing since I couldn’t find anything in the Library by her. But her name is ‘Lucy #666.’”

There was obvious confusion among all of Gavin’s siblings. For starters, when All-Wise came up with surnames for people, the number was always a four-digit number. And then there was the fact that Lucy’s number was the same digit three times in succession. Danica had never once seen a number like that be used in the Library (even if it would be convenient for being easy to remember).

Mary then finally said, “Are you pulling my leg with this? I honestly can’t believe your audacity to want to celebrate your new relationship when poor Dani is right there waiting for you.”

The room went silent and Gavin gave Mary a dirty look. “Don’t talk to me like that, Mary. I’m doing what I feel is best; I’m sure Dani understands my decision, right?”

There were uncomfortable stares toward Danica, but before she could say anything to bless this new relationship, Mary said, “No. I don’t see any thing wrong with our sister. What makes her so repulsive to you that you’d rather sleep with someone that you didn’t grow up with?”

Gavin was about to fire back at Mary, but Danica did what she felt was the mature thing by saying, “It’s ok, Mary. I’m happy for Gavin and I’m glad he’s found someone he likes.”

Mary shook her head and said, “Don’t think you have to condone this kind of treatment, Dani. If I were you, I’d slap Gavin.”

Aliza interjected, “Anyway, when do we meet Lucy?”

“Yeah, when?” chimed in Ronald.

“Tonight,” Gavin said pleasantly.

Danica drank some of her cooler and thought about what had just happened. She was humiliated and dismayed that the person she wanted to have a relationship with the most had chosen someone from the Social Pod over her. Then again, she had the glimmer of a hope in her that this relationship was not as close as she first thought since, from the snippets of the ongoing conversation that she was listening to without her input, Lucy was still living in her own pod instead of with Gavin.

Suddenly, All-Wise’s voice came on over the speaker and He said, “Everyone, Lucy #666 is here at the door. Should I allow her in?”

“Yes,” Gavin said with joy.