I fell down the rabbit hole a very long time ago. A world full of nonsense creatures was seductive. I couldn't cope with my lack of self esteem the real world seemed to slippery and out of my control of things only confirmed it.
It seems like an easy out but it wasn't really not because then I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop with my self esteem taking another blow..
Now I live in a house with two people are trying to climb out of the hole I've put my self into. my lack of self esteem has pushed me into the habit of not paying attention to my real world.
Deb calls not adulting which sounds demeaning but really it just is from her frustration. She became sober and had to deal with decades of physical abuse to be able to cope with the here and now.
I can manage for a few days then slide away eventually turning away because of a life telling me that I can't do it.
Getting regular habits is is the beginning that I need as she keeps telling me. I feel me lack of self esteem pulling me back..
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