The Fires and the Burns

The fire within scorching showing it does STILL exist

THE past has many thing to do with the present ,something I don't think is talked about often enough. The fires of the past can light the fires of the present brighter maybe even reignite past problems forgotten by the mind. The one thing I think is most ignored about them is the burns that are left behind scares reminding of us of what happened. Some scares mean movement forward for most but for me there a reminder of FIRES within.

People are forced to move forward whether were ready or not ,because we assume there is always a tomorrow until there isn't. The big ball in the sky ,the sun, reminds us OF that fact that we cannot outlast it growing warmth. I mention the sun because the warmth it gives off is inviting, comforting to some. The fire I speak of is the one you rarely see seeping out form behind the mask begging to come out to consume to... destroy. The fire of the mind wants to destroy me and steal who I am from the people around me. I often think I have suffocated that fire ,yet it keeps teasing me an ember remaining finding a new place of growth over something insignificant in MY mind or my life.

They say after destruction comes new life as nature ,and people alike must survive. The PAST has many examples of this ,there are countless sorties told and likely untold of this phenomenon of healing and moving forward. Yet for some such as myself we cling to the ruins that were made in the pain created by these internal fires. We'd let the rubble of a lost friendships for example HAUNT our ability to talk to people to connect. These fires invisible to the human eyes feast on our emotions our vulnerabilities simply kindling for destruction. These fires are constantly in the background waiting for there moment to rise to destroy the good parts of oneself. Sometimes these fires start with a match from somewhere unexpected. These unexpected fires have left burns scared into ME a reminder.

Betrayal is something we are all familiar with some more than others. The pains of betrayal often come from those around us. The ones we chose to believe in AND sometimes that person is ones self wanting to hold you back scared of the future. I mention this cause betrayal of emotions ,values ,and my morals BLOCK me from attempting to extinguish the flames before me. It's this idea the fact that the betrayal of who I am is why the way forward seems so daunting. The sun light blocked by THE ash of fires past and present with decisions of regret.

With this I must say there are few options I have in what I must do to extinguish the flames in my mind fogging the vision of myself. The WAY I must go is full of uncertainty ,but I am sure that the light of the sun will one day feel inviting once more and not remind me of the pain fire brings. I trudge FORWARD with new ideals and a better compass in search for truth to bring a brighter future for myself.