Timeless

A time traveler who knows how to make time stand still.

Have you ever experienced a timeless moment? They are such ephemeral beasts, shy of revealing themselves. Ah, but when a fleeting moment hits one, you never forget it. I often sit here in the empty hours of seniorhood, visiting such a friend.

“Hey. I was talking to you.”

“Sorry, gathering wool to keep my thoughts warm.”

“It’s been happening more lately. Are you sure that you are okay? I could call a nurse.”

“No, no. They bother me too much already with their endless needles and pills. I’m fine. When did you get here?”

My vision isn’t like it used to be. It’s more dream-like now, a little blurry and softer than it was. My other senses have become more subdued. Hearing especially. I reach out and touch my sister’s hand. Pat it to make sure it is there, a comfort and sure companion to my own hand, reassuring it in a forever moment memorized, catalogued, and ready for retrieval, for when I need to make time stand still.

“I’ve been here about an hour while you’ve been cat napping, waiting to tell you the news. We’re arranging quite a group of us to come visit and have a New Years party, if you agree to having that kind of fun. What do you think?”

I nod as she raises my hand to kiss my fingers one by one, Love touching love. I feel the undercurrents of our conversation. She knows I am dying, I thought slowly, but maybe the doctors have sped things up. The party she has planned is a going away present, a last glimpse of the life that once was.

It slows the moment we bask in, almost makes it stop We stare at each other, both with tears in our eyes. I reach for her. The hug is awkward with all the tubes connected to me, but we manage to share some of its warmth. “Sure,” I whisper into the softness of her hair. “Better make it fast.”

Sleep and marching time hasten the date. I wake to find myself surrounded by family and old friends I haven’t seen in what feels like forever. A party hat is planted on top of my head. False gaiety turns into the real thing, laughter, when a nurse pops in to quiet everyone down.

There are remember when moments shared like time capsules opened up. We marvel anew at each one. Forever moments kept hidden and awakened, held and treasured before being tucked back where they belong.

Of course, as expected, there is that yawning silent pause, when everyone looks at each other and knows it will soon be time to gather themselves and wander out into the unknown future. I lay in my bed, and nod, touching each reaching hand for the barest embrace.

Julie ushers them out. “He’s tired. Can take only so much. I’ll meet you all at the bar and we’ll celebrate until dawn.”

But she doesn’t. She stays here with me. She knows it is time. Time standing still. I feel it's a warm embrace, taking the pain away and my life with it. A few uneasy breaths and I go where time stands still.