TITLE TOO FUCKING LONG

DESCRIPTION TOO FUCKING LONG.

ACTUAL TITLE: Soufflés on Unicycles: a Definitive Chronology of Mild Annoyances

ACTUAL DESCRIPTION: A meditation on sibling rivalry, institutional authority, and the ways unbridled empathy may compromise the structural integrity of soufflés.


Emma Maddie age thing, wait, no, Maddie backwards time school 6th Emma 7th like a soufflé riding a unicycle through a hurricane. Test? Swap! BOOM brains explode like spaghetti in a Cuisinart of existential despair. Mr Upshaw? cactus now talking, smells like burnt toast with the subtle undertone of a lost sock.

Parents arrive via spaghetti tornado on a velvet trampoline. Dad rainbow flamethrower yells crime! punishment! owie owie owie while a marching band of pickles applauds in binary. Penguins. Definitely penguins. Also math but like scary math with a hint of kaleidoscope marmalade. End maybe. Or not. Who cares, the oven’s still running. "Where's my effing soufflé?!!" she cried, an ecstasy of BOOM brains explode more.

the end