for my M

love and loss

It all happened so fast.
I never meant
to fall this hard in love.

All those deep conversations,
all those songs.
That first kiss—
I can still feel it
burning on my cheek.

I had been numb
for so long.
She woke my heart up
and lit it on fire,
a warmth I hadn’t felt
in years.

The little things:
handwritten letters,
the cute names we gave each other,
the inside jokes
that still echo in my head.

I wish I had known
that last hug
was going to be the last.
I would’ve held on
just a little tighter.
If I had known
it was the last kiss,
I would’ve kept it
just a little longer,
savored it
just a little more.

Two souls destined to meet,
but crossing paths
at the wrong time
in the journey of life—
an almost tragic injustice
of the universe.

I know the universe has a plan,
and I have no reign over it.
Acceptance is a hard, jagged pill,
caught in my throat,
cutting on the way down.

Right now,
acceptance feels like standing
in a dark, quiet room,
hands open,
heart still bleeding,
whispering to the universe,
“I’ll stay.
I’ll feel this.
I won’t run,”
even when every broken piece of me
still reaches for her.