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Rated: ASR · Book · Biographical · #2144541
Life is a journey - come along for the ride!
Life is a journey full of twists and turns. Some are good, some are bad - and some leave you guessing. This is my journey through life. I hope you can relate. Some of the entries here will be positive, some will be negative. However, I am going to be completely honest in this blog - this is the real me. This is who I am. The experiences here helped shape and mold me into the person I have become.

So come on in, sit a spell. Get to know me - the real me. Laugh with me. Share my tears. Get mad with me. Join me on my journey through life, and maybe...just maybe, you won't have to make the same mistakes I did or you can be encouraged by something you read here.

Bonnie Ray
Previous ... -1- 2 ... Next
July 12, 2019 at 7:17pm
July 12, 2019 at 7:17pm
#962511
Okay, so I was supposed to update my blog two days ago, but so far, I haven't been able to keep up on one single goal I've set for myself. I hate it when life gets in the way and I can't do what I've set my mind to do because it makes me feel like I've failed. Maybe by setting too many goals, I've set myself up to fail from the start - who knows? And then I feel like giving up completely because I lose sight of what I can do. Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, it sends me into depression, but I'll always bounce back - I always do.
June 29, 2019 at 7:36pm
June 29, 2019 at 7:36pm
#961770
Okay, so I am a goal-setter, determined to reach certain goals by the end of 2019. So, I have compiled this list of goals and the steps to reach these goals....am I being too specific? Probably. Am I being unrealistic? Maybe. Am I being completely too hard on myself? Yup - but that's how I roll. I know it's kinda hard to read, but I couldn't figure out how to edit the outline form without having to completely retype it...I apologize for that. So, with that being said, here are my goals for the rest of 2019:



1. I want to build my faith stronger in God.
Begin Date: June 30, 2019
End Date: Ongoing
a. Build a stronger prayer life.
i. Set aside time each day to pray and listen to God.
ii. Write down my prayers/praises and post them on my prayer wall weekly.
iii. Pray over prayer wall daily.
b. Study my Bible every day.
i. Set aside time each day to read and study God’s Word using my Life Journal.
1. Keep my Life Journal updated each day.
a. For every 25 entries to my Life Journal, reward myself.
c. Spend time in praise and worship every day.
i. Set aside time each day for praise and worship in the morning before work.
ii. Set aside praise and worship time each night before I go to bed.

2. I want to tithe/offer obediently to God and begin to save money.
Begin Date: June 30, 2019
End Date: Ongoing
a. Begin to tithe and offer to God obediently.
i. Put together a financial plan of action that automatically includes tithes and offerings as
part of the budget.
ii. Stick to the budget and cut unnecessary expenses any way I can to make sure I have the
money for tithes and offerings.
b. Begin to put small amounts of money aside for fun stuff, emergency fund and savings.
i. Set a goal of how much I want to save.
ii. Start out small, and build up until you reach a certain percentage of income going into
savings.
iii. Put the savings part into the budget and treat it like a bill that has to be paid.
iv. Consider opening a savings account to put the saved money into that is separate from other
money.
v. Reward myself with something small for every $100 saved.

3. I want to get into the habit of writing every day.
Begin Date: June 30, 2019
End Date: Ongoing
a. Write a poem a day for 100 days and repeat the process each time you finish the previous 100 poems.
i. Reward myself somehow for every 50 new poems written.
b. Continue to work on my blog, Life Is a Journey.
i. Write and post an entry on the 10th and 25th of each month.
1. For every 6 entries written and posted, reward myself somehow.
c. I want to finish my first compilation book of poetry.
i. Determine which poems you would like to include in book.
ii. Determine the order the poems should appear in the book.
iii. Make sure the poems are edited for flow, rhythm, clarity and word usage.
iv. Name the manuscript.
v. Type up and format the manuscript.
vi. Print the manuscript.
vii. Begin searching for places to submit the manuscript.
viii. Begin the submission process.
d. I want to finish the final draft of my Mystical Realms novel.
i. Find the first draft of story along with all notes.
ii. Make sure all character profiles are completed.
iii. Edit each chapter and either shorten or lengthen chapters as necessary for them to be of
similar length.
iv. Complete first re-write.
v. Edit the 2nd draft.
vi. Complete the 2nd re-write.
vii. Edit the 3rd draft (i.e. the final draft.)

4. I want to completely clean and organize my home.
Begin Date: June 30, 2019
End Date: Ongoing
a. Pick one room a week and completely clean and organize it.
i. List each room that needs cleaning and organizing.
ii. Prioritize and list everything that needs to be done to the room that week and start with
the most important tasks.
iii. Enlist Robert’s help.
iv. For each room completely cleaned and organized, reward myself and Robert.

5. I want to build a stronger, happier relationship with my son.
Begin Date: June 30, 2019
End Date: Ongoing
a. Begin to have a family fun night every week.
i. List activities that we both enjoy that we can do on our family fun night.
ii. Pick a night of the week and choose an activity we can do together that we both enjoy.
b. Do something outside the home every week with my son.
i. Make a list of places we can go and things we can do outdoors that we both enjoy.
ii. Pick a day of the week we can get out together each week.
iii. Pick a place or outdoor activity each week (preferably free) that we can go together and
enjoy ourselves.
c. Encourage open and honest communication with my son.
i. Choose which things I am not willing to budge on and set the expectations and consequences
up ahead of time.
ii. Post the expectations and consequences up on the wall.
iii. Use encouraging words.
iv. Listen more than I speak.
v. Keep a positive mindset and attitude.

6. I want to get the ministry that God laid on my heart up and going.
Begin Date: July 1, 2019
End Date: Ongoing
a. Get the bylaws finalized.
i. Write a rough draft of the bylaws.
ii. Find an attorney who can go over the bylaws and make sure they are legal.
iii. Write and approve the finalized bylaws.
b. Get the mission statement finalized.
i. Write out the rough draft of the mission statement.
ii. Edit and write the final mission statement.
c. Begin to search for a board of directors.
i. Check into the resources given to me with regards to searching for board members.
ii. Interview and select the first group of board members.
iii. Set up a first meeting with the board and go over everything.
d. Work on getting the 501(c)3 designation.
i. Find out what the requirements are to get this designation.
ii. Begin to meet the requirements.
iii. Apply for the designation.

7. I want to get my associate’s degree in Bible College.
Begin Date: June 30, 2019
End Date: Ongoing
a. Finish the classes I am currently enrolled in.
i. Get back to Bible College and review the work already done.
ii. Take each class and finish the ones I’m enrolled in currently.
b. Track and take the classes I need to take.
i. Find out and write a list of the classes still needed for my associate’s degree.
ii. Prioritize those classes and take them.
iii. If money is required or other requirements are needed, make sure to set up a plan to save
the money and get the requirements met in order to finish getting my associate’s degree.

8. I want to become a healthier person so it’s easier for me to take care of my son and my responsibilities.
Begin Date: July 1, 2019
End Date: Ongoing
a. Quit smoking.
i. Set a specific date to quit smoking and quit on that date.
ii. Speak encouragement to myself and tell myself I can do it.
iii. Find other things to do to relieve stress instead of smoking.
iv. Begin now to cut down how much I smoke until my quit date so it won’t be so difficult to
quit.
v. When cutting down how much I smoke, pick a certain activity or area each week where I won’t
smoke anymore and get rid of all smoking paraphernalia in that area.
vi. For every week of successful cut-down, reward myself.
vii. Once quit, for every 10 days without smoking, reward myself.
b. Find a way to pamper myself each week.
i. Find things I enjoy doing that will help me to relax.
ii. Do at least one thing for myself each week – whether it be some alone time, watching a
movie, playing a game, taking a long hot bath, etc.
c. I want to begin exercising or doing something active every week, and work myself up to exercising
three times per week.
i. Set an amount of time to exercise or be active each time.
ii. Increase amount of time until I can reach at least 45 minutes to an hour.
iii. Increase number of times each week until I am exercising three times a week.
iv. Make a list of things I can do that are active and that involve exercise and choose a
different activity each time.
v. Play music or exercise with Robert to keep me motivated.
vi. Once I am at my goal of exercising three times a week, reward myself.

9. I want to move up in my position at work.
a. Begin each day with a good attitude.
i. Begin each day with praising God for the good things in life.
ii. Think about all the things that can go right.
iii. Use encouraging words to speak life into my day rather than negativity.
b. Continue to encourage other members of the team.
i. Use encouraging words to help others step up to the plate.
ii. When I see someone struggling, help them out and speak life into them.
iii. Look for the good in others and concentrate on their strengths.
c. Do whatever it takes to help others succeed.
i. Encourage others with words and actions.
ii. Help others to “reset” if they begin to get upset.
iii. When I see others struggling, help them out.
iv. If I see someone who doesn’t know something that I know, show them what I know in an
encouraging manner.
d. Work with managers and coaches on doing what it takes to earn promotions.
i. Ask managers and shift leads what I can do to improve my chances of being promoted.
ii. Work with current GM to complete necessary training and certifications required to get
promotions.
iii. Maintain communication with managers and GM to track progress towards promotions.
June 7, 2019 at 7:32pm
June 7, 2019 at 7:32pm
#960353
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April 27, 2019 at 2:03pm
April 27, 2019 at 2:03pm
#957675
I'm sure you have read that life is a journey so many times here in my blog that you wonder if I know how to say anything else, LOL. *Pthb*

However, the truth of the matter is that life is a journey. There are times it is painful. There are times when it's full of joy. And there are times of confusion or clarity. I know it's been over a year (almost a year and a half) since I've posted a blog entry, but life has been totally crazy. I have learned a lot, gained a lot, lost a lot and worked a lot.

During the process, though, I lost myself (albeit temporarily) to the ebb and flow of life that was more like a hurricane over the ocean. I lost myself in the pain of losing my best friend at work to suicide. I lost myself in the every day blah blah blah of being human - having to work part time, take care of others, and put myself last. The truth of the matter is that the last year and a half have almost killed me.

But the good news is that I am making a comeback in more than one way. I am making a comeback here on WDC. I am coming back to my faith in God. I am returning to church and volunteering. I am learning how to be a mom to a teenage boy who is on the autism spectrum. And now, I am trying to come back to my writing. It's hard to make a comeback. Many of you know how tough it can be and how many times you feel like quitting and throwing in the towel.

I have decided the best way for me to work on my comeback is to set certain goals for myself. I have never been one to reach all of the goals I set for myself, but right now, I'm in the frame of mind that it's now or never.

One of the ways I know I'll be able to keep my goals is to set up an accountability system. So, in the spirit of holding myself accountable, I am going to post my goals here in my blog. So here they are:

1. I want to start writing poetry again, so I am going to attempt to write 1 poem a day for 100 days. They don't have to be the best poems ever written - they just need to be written.

2. I want to start keeping up with my blog - an entry every year and a half just doesn't cut it. So, rather than try to force myself to write an entry a day or an entry a week, my goal is to write 2 blog entries per month.

3. I am already reaching my goal on WDC to become more active. My auction is up and going full-force. I have done 38 reviews in the month of April 2019. I have updated my signature shop and my personal signature for reviews. So now my goal for becoming more active on WDC is to post my poetry and keep up with my blog.



Some of my goals that I want to reach are real-life, non-WDC, non-writing goals. They are:

1. Take one room at a time at home and completely clean and organize it. I should be able to do one room per week.

2. Clean out my spare bedroom by hauling stuff to the dump and make it an office for myself and my son.

3. Concentrate on taking better care of myself by eating better (or in my case, eating more,) getting outside more often, and finding ways to pamper myself just a bit each week.



I think my goals are realistic, and I know that I can achieve them if I really set my mind to it. So, as I get back to getting to know me, and reaching my goals, I ask that you be patient with me and keep checking in to make sure I'm working on my goals.

Until next time,


Bonnie Ray
February 28, 2018 at 5:48pm
February 28, 2018 at 5:48pm
#929635
I know, I know. I'm three weeks behind in my blog, and for that, I apologize to my loyal followers. However, as the title of this blog says, life is definitely a journey.

But sometimes, the journey is painful. Life has thrown me a few really painful curve balls over the past three weeks, and I have really had a difficult time in processing through them without getting stuck in my own head. However, that is easier said than done. It seems as though I have spent more time in tears, broken-hearted and sleeping than I have anything else. I am still confused by what I am dealing with, unsure of where to go or what direction to take.

That being said, most of the goals that I had set for myself for 2018 have now been put aside to deal with the "real-life" issues that are tearing my life apart and plunging me into the depths of deep depression.

Yes, sometimes life is good. But it seems to me more and more, that my life literally sucks. There are days where it's all I can do just to force myself up out of bed to drink a cup of coffee, smoke a cigarette and eat. Most days, it's a struggle for me to even get out of bed - mostly from lack of sleep due to the symptoms of PTSD returning with a vengeance since this last round of crap has started.

I am not posting this to get sympathy - but rather, to remind people that not everyone is okay - even when it seems that they are, and not everyone's life is good. But I am also asking for my friends to pray for God's intervention into what I am dealing with to make things right again.
February 7, 2018 at 2:47pm
February 7, 2018 at 2:47pm
#928544
I say life is a journey, and it’s true. There are twists and turns, good times and bad, and there are lessons learned.

The last few weeks for me have been absolutely amazing, but at the same time, full of epic fails. I have been blessed in so many ways over the last few weeks, but I have epically failed on some of the goals that I had set for myself. Too bad life doesn’t come with a reset button, right?

For a couple of years now, I’ve wanted to hear a certain pastor preach live. However, his church is in North Carolina, and I live in Georgia. When you are on limited income, travel isn’t always an option. The few times that I had been able to go, something would always come up and I would have to cancel at the last minute. Fast forward to 2018, and this same pastor came to my church to preach a message to my pastor at Night of Worship. However, he might as well have been sitting in a room one-on-one with me. His descriptions of the struggles that we had been going through, the feelings of wanting to quit, wanting to die cause we were tired of the fight, and then the triumphant joy when things are starting to work out – he might as well have been describing my life for the past two years. But then he talked about the blessings that were coming, and was talking about not running from them. Very powerful message, very powerful in so many ways.

Let me tell y’all – my pastor is cray-cray-crazy! The week after our Night of Worship, our pastor had a tree brought into the sanctuary and wired onto the stage. He then proceeded to preach about being in position – and actually climbed the tree to preach! Again, another message that might have been just for me on so many levels.

I have also been reading and studying two new books – and both of them are teaching me so much. They are raising my expectations in my prayer life and showing me that no matter how I fail, God is still there.

Then, when all seemed lost financially, I found out that God had provided for some of my bills to be paid, provided food and other necessities that I needed, provided a new microwave since mine was about to kick the bucket, and provided some new clothes for me.

Okay, now to the epic fails – I set myself a ton of goals for the month of February…and so far, I’ve reached NONE of them. Part of it is due to laziness (yes, I said it.) Part of it is due to lack of motivation. Part of it is due to fatigue. Part of it is due to the “I just don’t wanna do it” bug. But another reason is because I’ve really been trying to ponder and consider what God is showing me, and how I can apply what He is showing me to my daily life.

However, I have reached one of my goals, but it wasn’t a goal for February – I re-enrolled in Bible College, and in the class I am taking on Chaplaincy/Chatplaincy (chatplaincy is a fancy word for online chaplain,) I am getting an A average. I should have this course completed by the end of the month.

Things aren’t always easy. Life gets tough. Blessings come. Failures come. But how you react and what you do with it is ALWAYS a choice! I could choose to berate myself and concentrate on my failures – and that will affect my outlook on life and how I view myself. Or I could choose to learn from this and move on – and take it as a lesson learned. I choose to take this road. I’m not perfect. I never will be. But I am always willing to learn. I am willing to grow. I am willing to make mistakes and grow through the process. And that is what makes me happy – what keeps me from hating myself when I have failed as epically as I have failed so far this year. Today is a new day, and I can choose to start over.

Like I said, life is a journey – enjoy it and learn from it!
January 25, 2018 at 1:42pm
January 25, 2018 at 1:42pm
#927760
Okay, I have a confession to make. I am the world's worst person when it comes to procrastinating! I always seem to put off stuff that needs to be done.

Right now, my son's room is nothing but a sea of books that need to be sorted, and either donated or put back on the shelf. However, I can't seem to bring myself to do it. Why? Because I don't want to right now...I'd rather be sitting watching a movie or hanging out here on WDC.

And the books aren't the only thing I'm procrastinating with. I need to clean off my dining room table, my coffee table, my end table, and sort through all of my papers. I need to clean my bedroom, vacuum floors, sweep and mop, wash dishes, etc. The list could go on and on forever. But, for some reason, I seem to always be putting stuff off until the last minute, then am too tired to do what needs to be done.

Maybe that can be one of my goals for February - quit procrastinating and just start getting stuff done little by little. Maybe that's part of the reason I put stuff off - because there's so much to do that I get overwhelmed and then I figure I'll never get caught up anyway - so what's the point?

I think that my goal for February will be to get the books on the bookshelves and get my son's room organized and cleaned up. And get his bunk bed put together.

Oh, for those of you who are wondering where my son is and why he doesn't help, for reasons I will NOT go into,
my son doesn't live with me at the current time, but will be coming home soon. So I really gotta get it done!

Until next time,

Bonnie
January 19, 2018 at 5:47pm
January 19, 2018 at 5:47pm
#927399
Okay, I have a confession. I am in my 40's, yet I still enjoy kids' stuff. Is there something wrong with me? *Confused*

Let me explain. Today is my son's birthday. Tomorrow is the day we are celebrating by going to Chuck E. Cheese. For those unfamiliar with this awesome chain, it's a combination of a pizza restaurant with a kids' video arcade where kids can win tickets playing video games and turn the tickets in for prizes. It was his choice to go to Chuck E. Cheese (keep in mind, he is only 12 years old.)

However, I must say I am ecstatic because when I am let loose in a place like this, I am just as much of a kid as he is. I have just as much fun playing the video games and arcade games as he does. I become a wide-eyed kid at heart when I am in a place like Chuck E. Cheese or a fair or carnival. Don't ask me why...I have no clue.

So the question remains - am I a kid trapped in an adult body? Ha ha. If that's the case, I don't ever wanna grow up!


Until next time, folks!
January 10, 2018 at 11:50pm
January 10, 2018 at 11:50pm
#926846
Okay, so this week I have spent on the couch, not doing much of anything. However, I have managed to be a pillow for my two dogs – Bella and Sassy. These four-legged fuzzies seem to think that no matter what I’m doing, it’s perfectly fine for them to lay down on my legs and nudge my hands until I give in and pet them. *Facepalm*

However, that can produce a problem. When my hands are busy petting the fuzzies, I can’t work on my writing, can’t type…it does tend to make things a bit difficult. And what makes it worse is that when I attempt to move them, they come right back to where they were.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the girls. But sometimes, I would like to accomplish something – anything. So, I have had to learn to type one-handed…and I’m actually getting good at it. Oh, wait – I’m not so sure that’s a good thing! *Confused*

Nevertheless, having fur-babies is awesome. They are loyal to a fault, they will protect to the death, and they love without hesitation or conditions. *Heart*

Now, if we humans could learn to have those same personality traits…*Pthb*



Bonnie

January 4, 2018 at 8:30pm
January 4, 2018 at 8:30pm
#926370
I used to think that I didn’t need anyone to help me do anything. I didn’t need people to “support” me and hold me accountable. I could do that on my own. *Facepalm*

I have learned through the last two years, that not only do I need others, but by allowing others to help me, I am learning to be self-sufficient in a way that’s not self-destructive, and it’s helping me to stay accountable to my goals, both writing goals and non-writing goals.

Having friends who hold you accountable – not just for your goals, but for your thought patterns and stinkin’ thinkin’, will really help a person out.

Don’t get me wrong – being alone can also benefit one, and being independent can be a good thing. But I have learned over the last couple of years that too much of anything might lead to disastrous results. Let me give you a prime example of how not having a support system has hurt my writing:

I set myself a goal of writing a blog entry every week in 2017. However, that did NOT happen. Why? I could come up with a million excuses:
I didn’t have time;
I couldn’t think of anything to write;
No one cares about what’s going on in my life;
I don’t feel like writing it today; I’ll write it tomorrow.
And the list goes on and on. But the truth of the matter is that I didn’t have the self-discipline to manage my time well enough to hold myself accountable to the goal.


Now here’s an example of how it affected my personal life outside of writing:

I set a goal of making sure to do my daily Bible study every day. However, again, I came up with excuse after excuse for not getting it done – see the excuses listed above. This one, however, had more of an effect on me than just not writing a blog entry. I began to become distant from God. I became more easily frustrated, frightened, ticked off, and offended. Even things that shouldn’t have bothered me began to really piss me off. I began to feel as if my life didn’t matter – and that I was a total failure, that there was no way God could love me. Then I got to a point where I began to blame Him for the things that were going on – even when it was something that was caused by my own poor choices.

However, I noticed that on the days when I did my daily study first thing when I got up – oh, okay….be technical….after my first three cups of coffee, I seemed to have better days. I didn’t get frustrated very easily. I wasn’t as scared of what I couldn’t see coming in the future. I wasn’t feeling like so much of a failure. And I started to believe again that God loved me and that my life meant something.


So you see, having an accountability partner or a friend who can help encourage you to reach your goals and keep up with your daily goals can be a very good thing, especially if you are someone like me who tends NOT to have self-discipline in these areas.

So do yourself and everyone around you a favor. Quit being a loner, get an accountability buddy or ask some of your friends to help you, and start reaching your goals and feeling better about yourself. You will find in the long run, you will be much happier. *Smile*


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