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Rated: 18+ · Book · Arts · #2206688
Blog and other works of literary sense
Here is a collection of ruminations and whatnot.
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December 8, 2022 at 9:40am
December 8, 2022 at 9:40am
I was having a dream. I opened my eyes and I found myself staring at an ornate wall. Suddenly the image I was looking at dissolved and I found myself back in my room, in bed. i wondered whether that dream and seeming scene was a taste of Heaven.
December 5, 2022 at 9:15am
December 5, 2022 at 9:15am
I got it bad, this depression and anxirty disorder. I tell myself it's just a phase in my day. But the pain is still there.
December 3, 2022 at 8:23am
December 3, 2022 at 8:23am
So I wrote a few paragraphs in my new story. It sounds a bit ordinary. But I'll keep on writing. Something good will come out of it, I'm sure. Or along the way I can see the plot forming.
December 2, 2022 at 4:38am
December 2, 2022 at 4:38am
The clinic visit was a good one but like all doctors I was made to wait for what seemed an eternity.

Today I awoke early. I have a thought of something to write. I think that the writer's block is over. Praise the Lord!
December 1, 2022 at 9:39am
December 1, 2022 at 9:39am
We're going to the doctor's today. She's a Nurse Practitioner and she's new. The previous one has been reassigned. So I'm curious to see how this new one does things. She was an intern at the clinic I go to and now she's established.

I'm bringing my family of two dogs and my Dad to the clinic.
November 27, 2022 at 10:00am
November 27, 2022 at 10:00am
I read the post about gratefulness and they asked what are we grateful for. i don't know what I'm grateful for but i'm glad i have my family with me and communicating with us. I'm glad it rained this morning and not snowed. I'm glad for the cup of coffee I have every morning. i'm glad for my medicines that keep me going, but i wish I could go to Heaven soon. my life is ordinary. I have no ambition.
November 11, 2022 at 9:40am
November 11, 2022 at 9:40am
It's been a while since I posted. I've been under the weather with this depression and anxiety disorder. The meds are working but the bad thoughts sneak in usually in the morning. I've been told by these thoughts that there's no good news in the future and that my future holds bad things in store for me and my Dad. Such morbid thoughts have plagued me in the early morning hours. I fly to the kitchen to start my day and distance myself from these morbid thoughts. My Dad has these thoughts he told me in the recent past. We seem to share the idea that our future is bleak. My future is bleaker if I lose my Dad. I abandon my future and my father future to God's Divine Providence. Prayers are what I've been saying constantly.
September 12, 2022 at 11:33am
September 12, 2022 at 11:33am
Today, September 12, is my 66th birthday.i'm suffering psychic pain as I write this.It's the depression and anxiety disorder kicking in. I feel like I've been kicked alright. I guess it's time for me to pray. Prayer helps. I feel better afterwards. Let's hope today's prayers will kick the bastard into hell.
September 8, 2022 at 7:40am
September 8, 2022 at 7:40am
When I was still working, I earned enough money to handle any stress that might be pressing on my parents. My Dad worked after he retired and my Mom worked as a privaate tutor for a rich family. My last job was good and successful. I felt independent enough.

Now that my Mom is gone (she passed away in 2011). and my Dad and I are alone, retired and senior citizens, I depend on him to carry the load. I feel sad most of the time. I feel that my mind isn't as quick as it used to be. I can't find a good job that would be a remote position that doesn't carry much of a responsibility.

I guess I'm going through a phase. I trust God will see me through.
August 28, 2022 at 7:48am
August 28, 2022 at 7:48am
The struggle against anxiety disorder goes on in me. Sometimes the pain is intolerable. Sometimes it's in the background of my daily life. I don't know if the medicines are working. The mornings are awful.

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