Each day feels new, and my memory of the one before is faint. I’m learning to adapt. |
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In September 2019, a seizure revealed a lime-sized meningioma pressed against my hippocampus—the part of the brain that governs memory and language. The doctors said it was benign, but benign didn’t mean harmless. Surgery removed the tumor, and three days later I opened my eyes to a new reality. I could walk, I could talk, but when I looked at my wife, her name was gone. I called her Precious—the only word I could find. A failure of memory, yet perhaps the truest name of all. Recovery has been less cure than re-calibration. Memory gaps are frequent. Conversations vanish. I had to relearn how to write, letter by halting letter. My days are scaffold by alarms, notes, and calendars. When people ask how I am, I don’t list symptoms or struggles. I simply say, “Seven Degrees Left of Center.” It’s not an answer—it’s who I’ve become. |
One of the fascinating things about memory loss is getting to do do-overs involving movies, TV shows, and music. I sometimes recognize the titles but do not remember the art. I have gotten to see movies like 'Back to the Future' and 'The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly' again for the first time. The same goes for music. I have even enjoyed reading more because everything is a new adventure. Not everything about memory loss is terrible. While it is still frustrating, it can also be fun to experience things again for the first time. |