blog of a person who seems to be invisible...
ok.. so I'm taking a next step in my life. I'm improving on myself. I'm going down this path i am on, thanks to God. I now attend a church regularly, and I like its small confines in a church building i attended nearly 40 years ago. To me it is surreal.|
Do i know whats ahead, or even where I am going? no, not at all. to be honest it scares me, but I need to step out of my fear and take charge of my life, and live it the way I and God want me to be. where ever this path goes, I'm sticking it out to the end. I feel it is a testament to who I am.
I am learning more and more everyday about myself. and improving, also trying to make amends for past mistakes.
But one can only make amends for mistakes where there was mistakes to begin with, if people don't want to listen then that is their fault, and their loss. I wont go where im not wanted and I know I am a good man, if you don't.. well that's too bad so sad for you...
|I'm so sorry I have been away for so long. But life has a lot of things to throw at me lately. Including the fact that I am planning a wedding now...Yes, you heard it right I am now an engaged man. I am finally happy with her and after making so many 'mistakes' (no names being mentioned). I could not ask for anything any better.
Right now, the date is set for Oct 15, 2022. If any of you are going to be in Florida during that time, and if you are interested in joining me in celebrating the next step in my life. Email me your address and when the invites go out, I'll be happy to send you one.
I've just been so busy with things lately. I write when i can but its more in private than in public right now...so...that is that.
I'm so freaking excited.
|You know sometimes life throws you a curve, it is either good or bad. There were some good things for me lately, but I constantly think about the terrible thing that has been weighing on my mind as of late...It's my job.
You see, I have been there for 9 1/2 years, soon to be ten, but This year has shown me a lot regarding it.
1. it is a dead-end job; I have a snowball's chance in hell of going anywhere with this company.
2. they have bad managers, who should not be or even considered to be in the positions they are in. They are usually the ones in the click, in other words, it is a popularity contest.
I believe I'm going to apply for other jobs in my area, this decision is not one I come to very easily. Especially since I have a history of making terrible decisions that usually hurt people and myself in the process. But I feel it is one that I need to do, I hate wasting my time and energy for people who wont give it back in some regards.
It just hurts me to waste my time...
|Hey, you all!
yes, I know this is a second blog post for me here, but I was so excited today as I realized that I finally have what I wanted my whole life. I met someone and started dating her on 3/18 of this year. that's why I have been away for a while... I am trying to get back into WDC, after all, I am a part of this community for a reason, but now I have more of a reason.
I have learned from y mistakes of the past and will never repeat them ever again.
Hooray for me.
|DAY 3123 June 5, 2021
Use these words in your post today in response to this question: Did I really see that? ornithopter which is a bird-like archaic flying machine, quern is a stone mill worked by hand, trochomancy is divination by studying wheel tracks.
"Did I really see that?" the policeman said as I described to him what I saw.
"Yes," I answered confidently," Yes... I did see that. I'm sure it was some sort of ornithopter, or something like that."
The police officer looked at me as his hand raised up and tipped his hat towards the back part of his head. His eyes focused on me, the look on his face was one of confusion.
"So, you are telling me that you were standing where when you saw this thing?" he asked once again.
I shook my head because I am having to explain it again for the fourth or fifth time.
"Look," I said in a rather upset tone of voice," I was standing over there... by that quern!"
"What is a quern?" the officer questioned.
"You see that stone over there with the handle on it and the hole in the middle of it?"
I pointed over into the darker area of the yard, over by the pile of dirt it was sitting on.
"Yes?" the policeman answered as he turned around to look.
"That's where I was when I looked up and saw it."
"Hey sarge!" a voice came from the darkness around them.
The policemen shined his flashlight that was tucked under his arm towards where another officer was standing.
"I think these tracks here in the mud, over here, may give us some much-needed answers!" he said as he stepped out of the mudded area.
"Those tracks have nothing to do with this," I informed the other officer to no avail.
"They look fresh," the young officer said as he turned around and knelt to look closer at them, " They look like they carried something heavy."
"No, they aren't fresh, you idiot," I interrupted him," Those were made by that cart over there..."
I pointed to the cart around the backside of the barn.
"And they were made three days ago," I informed him," The mud is still wet that's why they look like that."
He stood up and looked at me.
"So, you are into trochomancy, now huh?" the officer said.
"No," I continued," I know because I pushed the cart and made the tracks, myself. Ask the farmhand other there, He helped me do it."
"Ok, ok!" the Sargent said," We are done here! Pack it up, Brewster. I got the report written, but I wouldn't expect much to come of it."
The two police officers got back in their car and drove away just as I caught sight of the anomaly once again following them as they left.
"Aren't they going to have some explaining to do tomorrow?"
|Day 3116 May 29, 2021
On Memorial Day weekend many families place flowers or mementos on their family member's graves. Do you follow this tradition, or do you have a tradition of your own to remember loved ones.?
Unfortunately for me, I have no traditions concerning Memorial Day, as I had no relatives die in military service. The only thing we do to celebrate it has a cookout. I don't necessarily agree with that tradition, as it really has nothing to do with Memorial Day, which is to remember those who did not make it back from the theater of war, or in the service of their country.
It still drives me crazy when I see, hear or have people say thank you for your service on Memorial Day, and while that it important, to say the least, it ensures that I know that you have no idea what Memorial Day means. but it is what it is...
|DAY 3087 May 1, 2021
Can beauty be found in chaos? How do you describe chaos? How do you describe beauty?
The question asked is very profound, very profound indeed. The very asking the question has me thinking about chaos and its role in life and the path through history. The question must be broken down to fully understand it " can beauty be found in chaos?" Thinking deeply about this I have come to a belief that beauty can be found in chaos, but chaos can be found in beauty at the same time.
In physics chaos is behavior so unpredictable as to appear random, owing to great sensitivity to slight changes in conditions. but it could also be the formless matter supposed to have existed before the creation of the universe.
The truth is that if you were to see pictures of things in our universe through a powerful telescope, like the Hubble telescope, one would see the beauty on the screen before you, without thinking about the chaos that exists within its realm.
As for describing chaos. well, that resents a separate set of things to me. How can you describe things we could not know much about? Chaos at its core is unpredictable as the very nature of it should be. If it were predictable, then it wouldn't be chaos.
While it is possible to describe beauty, but even that is hard to describe as it resides completely in the realm of the viewer. For it was once said that what one man finds beautiful another may not.
So the answer to the questions asked is simple, and that is, in my opinion simply this: Beauty can be found in chaos, while at the same time chaos is found in beauty. In a way, it is like Schrodinger's cat which is putting a cat in a box and sealing it shut with tape then turning to people and asking if the cat in the box was alive or not. No one could answer without opening the box, so in a simple way the cat can both be alive and dead at the same time. its the same way with chaos and beauty. the end being, chaos and beauty are the same thing, one no bigger part than the other one.
|just when I thought things couldn't get worse they do... I had to have a preop covid test before my colonoscopy and it came back positive. so now Im quarentined and out of work for 10 days. i am truly not happy with that as I am Asymptomatic.
to say that I am bored is an understatement...
At least I met someone who cares about me... really cares... of that I am happy but this drags me down.
|well hello to all. It has been a while since I've been on here. It appears it's my seventh anniversary on wide. it is something I am very proud of it is the pinnacle of my life, we right next to getting elected to be the Worshipful Master in my Masonic lodge here in Florida.
It has been a rough seven years. I made some mistakes, made a few people angry at me, including myself. I learned a lot during this time though. about myself, and how to deal with others... I even learned to laugh at myself, like when I woke up at 6:00 and thought I was late to work, so I got up, got dressed, and ran out the door. It was only when I got halfway to work that I looked at my phone and saw it was 6 pm... not 6 am... I laughed all the way back home.
This year I got my own apartment in a town called Dunedin. It is a mother-in-law suite for 00 per month all utilities included its a one-bedroom... it's great. I feel more relaxed and happier now. I just wish someone else could see how I have improved in myself. Overall I consider myself happy and successful.
Here tome true real friends on here. I am planning on having another great 7 years on here. I know where I belong and will never leave here as you all are my family. Thank you for all you do.
|Today. what can I say about today? to me, it is when I found out that those that I believed in, and called friends all betrayed me, turned their backs on me, and in any way possible walked away from me. So at least I know now where I stand with them.
Although granted, some of my actions say that it is very deserved of me to get this. I have lost everything and those that say they are there for me, are only there when it suits them. I call them Fair-weather friends and they are useless to me.
One day I will have things straightened out, but I can tell you now that those who don't care, don't mean anything to me.
Day 2915: November 9, 2020
Prompt: Use the following words in your entry: cold, blast, rain, clouds, birds, and cat.
I sit writing in a quiet room,
outside the air is cold,
the rain falls from the clouds in a pattern that could be oh so bold,
in between the drops I hear the playfulness of the cats as they try to catch the birds.
Eventually, they stop and enjoy the day,
to see the creatures that once were hidden coming out to play.
In the end, you see the way
nature does what the creator's words do say.
Then when you are not paying attention,
it comes back
that this the love even though it moves silently
hits your heart with a big ole boom.