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blog of a person who seems to be invisible...
ok.. so I'm taking a next step in my life. I'm improving on myself. I'm going down this path i am on, thanks to God. I now attend a church regularly, and I like its small confines in a church building i attended nearly 40 years ago. To me it is surreal.

Do i know whats ahead, or even where I am going? no, not at all. to be honest it scares me, but I need to step out of my fear and take charge of my life, and live it the way I and God want me to be. where ever this path goes, I'm sticking it out to the end. I feel it is a testament to who I am.
I am learning more and more everyday about myself. and improving, also trying to make amends for past mistakes.
But one can only make amends for mistakes where there was mistakes to begin with, if people don't want to listen then that is their fault, and their loss. I wont go where im not wanted and I know I am a good man, if you don't.. well that's too bad so sad for you...
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May 20, 2016 at 12:54pm
May 20, 2016 at 12:54pm
DAY 1283 May 20, 2016
Do you believe inspiration comes from unresolved tensions?Da

I believe with all my heart that anything can and usually does create inspiration. unresolved tensions, especially in one's own life can be a great source of it, mainly for ideas.

But I do find inspiration can come from anywhere, anything, or anyone at any time. but will we notice it when it does? or write it down as it should? probably not.... but we should, as writers, we should. if for nothing else than for the files for use later.

a new sig for me.

May 17, 2016 at 7:34am
May 17, 2016 at 7:34am
DAY 1280 May 17, 2016
Let's talk books : What's the last one that you made cry? What's the last one that made you laugh? What's the last one that made you furious? Do/ can books give you all of these emotions in one story?

Books? well I have read so many I lost track. but as far as making me cry... well normally a former Us Marine doesn't admit to crying, and as I am such nor will I.... So there have been no books that made me cry... and we will leave it at that..

As far as the other emotions, of course there are some that for what ever reason give me an emotional response, a human emotional response. Like laughter and anger... being it has been a while since I did do any of that, and I don't keep internal records of such responses... the answer seems to be simple... I DON"T KNOW.

Do I believe that books or stories, for that matter can elicit deep seated feelings and human emotional responses? Oh hell yes I do.

a new sig for me.
May 12, 2016 at 10:03am
May 12, 2016 at 10:03am
Day 1275: May 12, 2016

Please don't post responses until the *Stop* has been posted.

prompt:As part of the “war on drugs” and in reaction to an increase in
school violence, many schools across the nation now conduct
targeted searches of student lockers and backpacks. Although the
Supreme Court has ruled that public school officials have the right
to search students’ persons and property when they have
reasonable cause to suspect weapons or drugs, many people feel
this is a gross violation of students’ right to privacy. Others feel
that since school officials are responsible for the well-being of
students while they are in the building, they have the right to
search for drugs or weapons at any time. How do you feel about
this issue? State your position and explain your reasons with
specific examples.

When I posted this I seemed to have a handle on this situation in my mind, but the more I think about this, the less clear cut it becomes... Why? because I can see from both sides. However when everything is considered I think the schools do have the right to search lockers, students persons and their purses, as well as their vehicles if they are on property.

Students may feel that their rights are being violated when these searches occur, there could be nothing further from the truth than this feeling. I know many people will be outraged at that, but hear me out. I graduated High school when I was 17, as many do, some when they are 18, and even some while they are 16. The reasons for this are as simple as the placement of their birthdays, or extra credit earned and such. However, as they are still in school and under the age of 18 they are still minors, and essential have no rights as of yet. At least none the parents don't give them. the parents are still responsible for their children's behavior.

Since I am almost 50 now, things are different then now. In my younger days the school sought out the parents consent, which they had to sign before starting school. Now keep in mind, back then they were allowed to spank a child in school, and send him/ her on his way back to class, all the while they thought about what was going to happen to them when they get home and get their second punishment for the same crime. I know I did. My parents had no issue with this, or else they wouldn't have signed the release, but the young ones had no voice in the matter legally.

Now that is to say it had to be this way, the controlling adult, meaning the parent, school administrator, or who have you, could choose to listen to the child's thoughts and feelings and take them into consideration, or not. the point in that they were trying to foster good relations between the school and the student and parent, for that matter.

But all in all, the answer is not a simple one. if the school wants to foster good relations with the students, then they must consider their feelings, or they can stand on the rules but loose the relations with the students and there are more students than administrators. but truly there is no right answer, nor wrong answer. it is all based on your perspective...

a new sig for me.
May 4, 2016 at 11:51am
May 4, 2016 at 11:51am
DAY 1267: May 4, 2016
Prompt: Let this Latin phrase or its translation inspire you. “Ad impossibilia nemo tenetur.” “No one is expected to do the impossible.”

I like this phrase, as it really reminds me of my past. This phrase was always held to me, as a U.S.Marine, as a child,and as a civilian man. Although I loathe terms like this, I understand its necessity to have it be ever present in ones life to remind one that all they have to do is to try to do the best and you will be ok. I just cringe at the faulty logic, in today's society, that is inherent in today's society for terms like this.

I was always held and pushed to it by parents, teachers, lovers, and friends. Normally pushing ones self isn't a bad thing, but there is a limit for this and I have been pushed way beyond those limits, relentlessly pushed. And when I would fail I would never live it down. pity that it has to be this way.

My writing helps me with this stress. within my pages, I have killed the world several times, and saved it twice as much. Started many fights and won half as many, with people twice my size, only to pull an ace out of my sleeve only to win the fight but loose the war. And it looks like there is no stopping this anywhere in sight. but after all it is just my writing I am doing all this with.... Isn't it?

a new sig for me.
May 3, 2016 at 2:26pm
May 3, 2016 at 2:26pm

Day 1267 May 3, 2016

Prompt: What does "Fraying at the Edges" mean to you? It's your story, your blog and I am looking forward to your response.
I have never heard of "fraying the edges" but I have heard of having frayed edges, which I understand is something akin to being very angry and upset at someone or something.

due to work this is going to be a short entry today ... as I am completely swamped .
a new sig for me.
April 29, 2016 at 9:46am
April 29, 2016 at 9:46am
DAY 1262 April 29, 2016

Bragging is not cool, but how does someone let another know they are doing awesome with boasting. Is there a way to harvest the reputational benefits of self-promotion while avoiding its cost?

the difference between bragging and self-promotion is a very fine line. this line is not an easy one to walk. But if you do it respectfully and carefully one can reap the benefits of it. what do I mean by this? It is simple really, first off downplay everything about it, not completely but take it down on or two notches when you talk about your self. And don't over exaggerate it.

Secondly, know when to stop talking about this thing, and let others talk as well. by including others you make them feel like their input is valuable, and if its valuable to them you become less of a bragger.

I believe, whole heartedly,that there are ways to harvest the self-promotion but it is something that needs to be taken in small doses and carefully. At least that is my humble opinion.

a new sig for me.
April 27, 2016 at 11:40am
April 27, 2016 at 11:40am
Day 1260: April 27, 2016

Day 1260: April 27, 2016. April 27 is National Tell a Story Day. Tell me a story. Be creative and have fun.

There once was a boy named Jack, he was a youthful energetic little boy who ran around like other boys in his town, without a care in the world. Him and his friends played with out caring what other people thought about him. As he grew older, the friends stayed together and spent most of their lives together, never spending too much time apart from one another, the three boys grew into their teenage years, then onward to adulthood.

As they began to go off to colleges to become who they were going to become, they began to change. Sean and Jarrod, grew into completely normal adults, however gained a girl crazy attitude. While Jack hit the books in school and eventually graduated with a doctors degree.

Finally there was John, he didn't go girl crazy, but liked girls; he didn't go to college, but was very smart. What John did was play sports, and lift weights. As John began to get bigger and bigger in size due to weightlifting, and more interested in sports, the problem is that he became a bully towards the other weaker friends, as he termed it. Basically John did as John wanted meaning that if Sean or Jarrod got a girlfriend that he wanted he would proceed to steal her from them, use them and then discard them. Of course when the girls would go back to Sean and Jarrod to ask for forgiveness, they were told no in no uncertain terms what so ever.

Eventually Jack made some money, a lot of it. And as usual when John heard about this run of luck Jack had with his business, John wanted it. So John did what john always does and tries to force his to give it to him. But now Jack, is a different kind of person than he was as a child, he was no longer a push over, so he meets with his other friends , Sean and Jarod , to discuss johns actions.

In a short meeting they decide that they had to do something. Jack called John to set up the meet for the money to be given to him. John threatens Jack before the call ends that he had better be at the meeting spot with his money or else, Jack assured him he will be there with bells on. then jack ended the call confident that Jack was going to do what the three of them had always done, give in.

As the time for the meeting came close, John got excited because he was going to get what he was entitled to get, which in his mind was everything they had and everything he wanted. Finally the time for john to leave had arrived. He carefully made sure he was ready, even going so far as to put a gun in the car just incase that little sniveling squirt tried something stupid.

The meeting place was a place they used to play in as kids. A small field next to the swamp, which has a pond in it. It was as memory served an isolated place and when John pulled into the field and found jack standing by his car over near the edge of the swamp. So he pulled his car over there parked it and got out.

Now their discussion was quiet and no one, but them, heard it. and the discussion was relatively calm. When John reached out to take the case, the other two hit John over the head and then dragged him away, towards the swamp. You see John didn't know Jack bought the swampy area and found out that the pond there was bottomless. It was so deep that divers couldn't go down that deep, and now Jack had the last laugh on John as he got to test it. to see how deep it actually went. Truthfully John found out.

a new sig for me.
April 6, 2016 at 8:29am
April 6, 2016 at 8:29am

DAY 1239: April 6, 2016

Prompt: "Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again." Joseph Campbell Where is your sacred space?

lately, I find my sacred spot is sitting at my local Panera bread.... its where I can think, write, its where I feel the most me. I am there but no there. Im really at peace there. I really don't know why, I just am.

but over all I am the type of person who is more comfortable by myself then in a group. Although I can be in a group, at times, mostly I am best by myself.... its how I am wired. what more can I say?

a new sig for me.
April 5, 2016 at 11:32am
April 5, 2016 at 11:32am
DAY 1238 April 5, 2016

Prompt: Oops, Let's talk about a toy you broke as a child.

Well, as far back as I can remember, I was a rough child to deal with. My mother put it correctly when I started Kindergarden, she went up to the teacher and said I'm sorry." and simply left. I was a holy terror as a child.... but as far as I know I wasn't rough on toys.... just people.*Devilish*.

a new sig for me.
April 4, 2016 at 8:57am
April 4, 2016 at 8:57am
DAY 1237: April 4, 2016

Prompt: Water Balloons. Take this prompt anywhere you want.

A young female crept out onto the dimly lit stage towards a single chair and what looked like a balloon sitting up on it. She crawled slowly and carefully, while trying to make herself look as sexy as possible. After all this is her first time she had been on this stage and she wanted this to be fun and enjoyable for her.

The musical beats thumped through the air. Her body swayed and moved to the music as it wove its tapestry through the air. She liked this song, so it made it easier for her to do what she came here to do. The sounds emanating from the darkness of the room told her that everyone was enjoying her gyrations around the stage. The crowd really seemed to like her more than all the others before or after her.

The song began to wain as it progressed through, she knew it and the problem she had with it was that she was having too much fun as she danced around the stage, sometime getting closer to the crowd in the blackness, and sometimes choosing to stay further away.

At a certain point in the song, she grabbed what looked like the water balloon off of the chair, and used that to dance around the stage. She used moves she had seen others use to seduce the crown into giving up the things they had. as the last line of the song began she got into position to give the crowd what they wanted. All her moves built up to the final note of the song, when she was on the chair. and as the final note struck she burst the bubble she had been carrying around waiting for this moment.

The music finally stopped and all that was left up on the stage was her wet body, and a puddle of water, and a chair. the room went silent. she picked herself up and moved off stage, to make room for the next performer to do her thing as well. She had a smile on her face as she came off the stage to thunderous applause rising out of the darkness, and she was very pleased with herself....

Such is the life of an ant and a drop of water!!!!! so what did you think it was?

a new sig for me.

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