blog of a person who seems to be invisible...
ok.. so I'm taking a next step in my life. I'm improving on myself. I'm going down this path i am on, thanks to God. I now attend a church regularly, and I like its small confines in a church building i attended nearly 40 years ago. To me it is surreal.|
Do i know whats ahead, or even where I am going? no, not at all. to be honest it scares me, but I need to step out of my fear and take charge of my life, and live it the way I and God want me to be. where ever this path goes, I'm sticking it out to the end. I feel it is a testament to who I am.
I am learning more and more everyday about myself. and improving, also trying to make amends for past mistakes.
But one can only make amends for mistakes where there was mistakes to begin with, if people don't want to listen then that is their fault, and their loss. I wont go where im not wanted and I know I am a good man, if you don't.. well that's too bad so sad for you...
|DAY 2230: December 27, 2018
Prompt: This is the last Thursday in 2018. Write a gratitude list, at least five items, of things you are thankful for this year.
Well, there are many things I should be thankful for and many things I shouldn't. I am thankful for everything that has happened to me this year, as it has made me a better person, man, than I have ever been before. I am very happy now.
I am seeing a new person, and we have been together for about 5 months as of December 13th, so I guess it is almost 6 months. I wouldn't have traded her for anything in God's green earth. I am tired of ALL the zero's,0's, that have been in my life.... time for me to have a hero.
I have a good job, that pays me well and allows me to be me.
I have real friends, now, not the kind that runs out when things get a little rough, or if they don't get things their way. they were never friends, just children in disguise, I guess.
I'm grateful for my mom being there when I needed her as she was one of the people I could turn to when I needed her.
I'm glad for being on this side of the grass, and not pushing up the daisies.
I am glad for my health...
I am glad that my God has let me see another sunrise and sunset.
I am glad for yesterday because it is the past, tomorrow may never come but today is a gift, that is why it is called the present.
|Prompt: I am looking forward to November, because...
Give us as many reasons as you want about why you are looking forward to November.
well, there are quite a few reasons to look forward to November, at least for me. The cooler weather we are supposed to have( you noticed I said was supposed to have!! hint), its one month closer to my favorite time of year, Christmas. its getting close to the new year, which brings a lot of good things in the future for me, I have had a very very rough year, I have lost a lot that meant the world to me...
I like the fall season itself, not Thanksgiving in and of itself, but the fall season altogether. I really look forward to that completely.
|DAY 1999: May 7, 2018
Prompt: "Your intuition knows what to write, so get out of the way." —Ray Bradbury
What are you're thoughts on Mr. Bradbury's advice?
Sometimes when dealing with writers' block, I find this advice to be extremely true, actually most times. A lot of writers are not aware that writers' block is mostly a block of your own mind trying to put something down on paper. And the best way to deal with this is to simply "get out of the way." however, in reality, this is a harder thing to do than most know.
The saying that "you are your biggest critic" kind of fits in here, however, I feel that you have to add this to it "And your biggest stoppage as well" as this makes the statement completely true, under all circumstances.
|DAY 1964: April 2, 2018
Prompt: Poetry? Yes or No. Why or Why not.
I assume this prompt is about whether I like or write poetry. At least that is what I'm assuming it is about.So that is what I am going to proceed with. The answer to this question is YES, absolutely YES. I feel it is very important to be able to write something that you can put your heart and soul into.
I find poetry to be one of the best ways to put feelings into writing in a way that is easier to understand and interpret. I find it very relaxing and soothing at times. as I always will write it along with anything else I can write. As to me, it is Very important.
"Death is the mother of Beauty; hence from her, alone, shall come fulfillment to our dreams and our desires." ~ Wallace Stevens
What do you think Stevens meant?
I think that Stevens meant that from death since it is the end of everything in one's life, that it is the only true fulfillment of our dreams and desires, as if we remained alive those dreams and desires would be fluid and constantly changing and evolving which is paramount to them never being fulfilled as they would be constantly changing.
Of course, this is just an opinion, and it really has no basis in true and pure fact.take it as you wish, or don't ...it is your choice.
|It truly has been a good birthday, thanks to some good people who just simply remembered it, and put their petty issues aside for another human being. I wish everybody could do that.
I enjoy being on here as a writer and that is not going to change, and I'm sorry certain things happened the way they did. I know I deserved what I have got on here, I am, after all, a good writer. I'm not perfect, but I am happy...
I can see many good things happening to me in the future. it is, after all, a good day.
|Day 1954 March 23, 2018
Use these words somehow in your blog, story or poem.
In this poem I will fill,
I will use words that won't be good,
in fact sometimes they will be a pill.
I'll give concession to few,
if you don't like it,
then simply f%^$ you,
and keep quiet, like a corpse should do.
I don't care to know what you need,
the ones who ask are like a weed
that pops up just where you don't need it.
The bush is quite ugly with all the thorns,
which you don't really see in the early morn.
Why can't you at least produce something useful,
like an apple, orange, or even a berry.
This is real life,
and not the matrix.
If you really wish to see,
the world around you,
the one God build for you and me,
simply look around you,
open your eye,
but be careful what you do and say,
You never know whose around you eavesdropping
at night, or even during the day,
words are the hardest thing to take back,
and are rarely forgiven,
put in a bag and placed on a rack.
|Good morning all, It's just me, again.
let's see I think things are going well for me I have a new look, new attitude, new friends, and an old life. I have spent my time thinking about my personal mistakes and failures, bad choices, being the PITA( that's pain in the a%$) over the past year or two. I have come to a conclusion... and that is that , while, yes, i failed at times, I succeed in others. Where I once saw a friend, I now see an enemy, or nothing at all.
That isn't to say I don't have friends, but certain ones, the ones I risked everything for, and treated more horribly than I have ever treated anybody in my life, Are now no longer around me, pushing their influence on my life, out of my life. So I can be a better man. Because I am a better man. I have ideals, thoughts, a heart bigger than anybody knows( I just wear it on my sleeve and that gets me into trouble). I deserve good people in my life, like my Masonic lodge brothers, and other trusted people, one in particular, who did nothing wrong but who I hurt very very deeply to the point that I cant be forgiven.
Out of all the bridges I have burned, its that one I regret burning the most. I at one time did think the grass was greener on the other side of the fence, only to find out the one green spot was what I was seeing, the rest of the yard was dead and /or dying.
I am writing more. I push myself when I do write. I use my past in my writing a lot.For example, I have killed off a certain character like 12 times and she just keeps coming back like a bad weed. Haven't quite figured a way to keep her gone. My character has beat her, hung her, drawn and quartered her, staked her, crucified her, drowned her, burned her at the stake, and like a weed she just keeps coming back. But in reality, its fun killing her off, and kind of satisfying in a way.
Oh well, its off to work now. Over all, I am well, and getting better each and every day. I'm realizing I really don't need someone in my life to make me happy, I do just fine on my own, especially now that I'm much colder than I was before, however, I want someone there. And I will have it...One day.
|DAY 1950: March 19, 2018
Prompt: It's Motivational Monday, write about some good news that motivates or inspires you in your life, your town, your state, your country, or go to Good News Network or some other website and share some good news that interest you.
I chose this link from the good news network:
I smiled when I read this as I had been down the same road as the young woman who wrote the sign( e.i. having a bike stolen, even though it was locked up) and it shows that there is still some humanity left in this weary and hard world.
It really inspires me to be better than this world is to me, to prove that I am better than I think I am
|DAY 1836 March 6, 2018
On this day, 1831 Edgar Allan Poe was.removed from West Point military academy. You're his only defense, he wants to stay. What's your argument going to be on his behalf?
my argument for Poe to stay in West point is simply this, as a former member of the American Military, notably the USMC, I know the need for writers in any war effort as one of the biggest helps a writer can give would be to generate copious amounts of propaganda.
And as any good student of warfare can tell you, that propaganda has been a useful tool in warfare for many uncounted centuries. The effects can range from the confusion of the other side to a misuse of assets in an area where it is not needed, or lack of use in an area that needs more.
But the first really good tool in the use of propaganda is the good use of writers, as they write it and create confusion with it.