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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/maia987
by Xiea
Rated: E · Book · Other · #2235418
So when I write, I'll write.
For the rare times when I write. *Laugh*
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January 14, 2021 at 7:20pm
January 14, 2021 at 7:20pm
#1002116
breathless empty perfume visions torment solitude wearied linger

Breathless, I stand before him,
Allowing my perfume to linger,
I move slowly and carelessly,
Knowing the torment it causes him.
I look at him with an empty gaze,
That will cause him visions of our times together,
Wearied but still hoping,
He'll keep waiting on the other side of the glass in solitude.
Forever and ever and ever...
January 14, 2021 at 6:38pm
January 14, 2021 at 6:38pm
#1002112
With no real stability, I'd wander around
Through the corridor of life, like under a command,
Never stopped to think why I was doing something.
Everything seems vain and meaningless until that day,
When miraculously, I stopped to think,
Where do I belong? When did I begin?
Is there an end? Will I just be another life as I leave?
Stuck in a cycle with no true goal?

Thats when I began to look for a way out,
For something that will tell me that my struggle is worth something.
I began a journey towards God
And suddenly, the entire world gained became colored.
Flowers began to bloom, and I began to notice,
The sun began to rise, showering me with kisses,
I began to see a light in the end of a dark tunnel,
And I found the within myself the motivation to reach it.

LC:15
Finding lord was truly a gift for me and I do wish I learn to acknowledge his Grace more.
January 14, 2021 at 6:21pm
January 14, 2021 at 6:21pm
#1002111
Turing over a leaf as I leave behind,
The memories of my past weeks and months,
I still haven't really realised,
If the previous March has begun or ended.
Time has been cheating itself for so long now.
I've lost all track of where I really am.
Along with the motivation to keep on moving,
Hoping that someday it'll hit, and I'll be able to move on.

LC:8
January 13, 2021 at 6:09pm
January 13, 2021 at 6:09pm
#1002055
Amid a chaotic 2020,
The only consolation was
"This too shall pass."
Everyone hoped that 2021
Will bring a brighter tomorrow.

But honestly, I don't think,
I'm ready this new light,
Terrified of social interactions
Of having to step out face the world.

I think I'll be just fine
If this doesn't pass.
I don't really want us
To go back to normal.

And to be honest,
2020 was wonderful
A break much needed,
So much alone time I had skipped.

So I think we should just
Find a middle ground
Instead of reverting to the way we were,
Let's reserve the solace of 2020.

LC:20
January 8, 2021 at 5:16pm
January 8, 2021 at 5:16pm
#1001696
A look at the man,
A dicision is made,
By my very own father that,
He's the one for for me.

He has nothing,
No power, no money,
Nothing except perhaps,
A good ounce of decency.

But Im not being consulted with,
I'm being ordered.
Simply shoved into the norm,
No power to me.

Marriage is like good riddance
Of the daughters of the family,
Like a barter, a trade,
"Take care of her, I'll pay you for it."
And the dowry* system kicks in,
For the groom needs to be paid,
He will not take away,
This burden for free.

It was disgusting, but it was what it was.
A heavily normalised standard,
A flawless system against question.

Imagine the disrespect,
Being treated like useless luggage,
Being transferred without consent,
For the rest of your life, you're a slave,
For there was no love
Between me and the man I lived with.
Just a bank transaction,
Is all I really am.

LC:32

Notes:
Dowry is an amount of property or money brought by the bride's family to her the groom on their marriage. This is a real system that was prevalent in India. Some parts of te country still have this as a normalised standard, which really needs to be changed.
December 31, 2020 at 8:00am
December 31, 2020 at 8:00am
#1001116
Hey Joyce!

2020! Boy, oh boy, what a delightful year this was! All the starts were perfectly aligned! We travelled to all our favourite places, ate our favourite food, expanded our social circle by ten-fold and had the best time ever! It was the closest thing to a perfect year, am I right?

Right, of course, that's exactly what happened. But to be honest, as you probably know, 2020 wasn't that bad for us. The extra time helped us get my life in order, figure out which direction we wanted to head towards in life and helped us just take a much needed break. It wasn't completely pleasant and I did miss you and my other friends and outings, but for the most part, it was pretty great. I know it wasn't easy, spending so much time with ourselves... It's beyond frightening. Especially for an overthinker like you. But don't worry, it's almost over. It is over.

2021 will be better, but most importantly, I'll still be with you. We're going to the same college, so I doubt you can avoid me. We're going to make it. Together. Don't worry. Just smile, okay?

Your truly,
Xiea


Wc:210
December 30, 2020 at 4:22pm
December 30, 2020 at 4:22pm
#1001075
A gun for a hand, strength for heart,
He marched forth fearlessly
A sad smile, a heavy chest,
His body clung willingly to over ten killing mechines
He knew the consequences of blowing up the sun,
He knew he'd shade
His motherland from destruction.
He knew that in the process, he'd disappear himself.
But he had left a mark,
he'll be hurting them as he went.
That was the only regret,
The only thought that melted his steel
But only by a little,
For he forged on a ahead.
As he pulled the pin,
Inaugurating the dance of death,
The only thing he wished
Was for those close to him
To not hurt too much.
And the darkness consumed him,
And so many others,
But in the end,
Atleast he won.

Line count: 23
December 25, 2020 at 10:18am
December 25, 2020 at 10:18am
#1000813
Did you hear about Mrs. Clause's curse?
Banished by her husband for she asked for too much,
She's was cursed to walk the earth forever and ever,
With no love, no care, just a few dim minions,
She's chose to pave a path of revenge to find what had been taken from her.

So she would watch every child,
All year long through her minions' eyes
For it was the children that stole her man's heart
With their twinkling eyes and bewitching smiles.

At the end of the year, during the Christmas cheers,
She'd send her minions to steal the gifts
Of the kids that had been naughty and mean,
And had disrespected their luxuries.

Every year, gifts would disappear,
Santa would wonder why the wear
In his flawless system of gifting his children
Until one day he caught a sneaky cursed minion.

The minion led Santa to his wife
And without any hesitation, she explained her device.
Santa, who was still in love, couldn't do much against her,
And didn't really consider the idea to vile.

Ever since then, the Mrs.Clause reunited,
With her husband, who had once, cursed and estranged her.
But underneath the mask of love, she held a crate of revenge,
To make him repay for the angony he'd put her through.

She took an oath to destroy Christmas forever,
With whatever means she deemed necessary.
And thus she made minion that,
All would see and flinch.
A cursed thing that dispised Christmas,
They say his name was Grinch.

LC:36

December 13, 2020 at 4:42pm
December 13, 2020 at 4:42pm
#1000172
I knew it was time,
For that day of the year,
When the heavens smile,
And the whole world cheers.
The first blessing fell,
Like a diamond from up above,
Light as a feather,
Blessing us with love.
And soon after,
The rest of them followed,
And blessed the earth,
As the land glowed.
A shimmering sheen,
Of white, serene divinity,
A sight so breath taking,
Forming a million smiles unwavering.
Thank you, Dear Lord,
For giving us so much
All the beauty and the strength,
And your endless love.

Line cont:20
December 8, 2020 at 6:52pm
December 8, 2020 at 6:52pm
#999887
I was in a bottomless abyss, with just one thin thread connecting the two ends in the name of footing. I had been walking for days on this bare thread. It pierced my feet bone deep, or so it seemed, for it hurt so much. I couldn't see anything except for this soft, beautiful white light that flickered mockingly at the end of the tunnel like a dying star, but it never really died. It knew that it was the one and only thing that had a different color from the rest of the pitch black tunnel, so it didn't real fear any competition from any other light source, because there was no possibility of it. It flickered endlessly, undying, cruelly beckoning me, or anyone for that matter who bothered to come in here. But unfortunately, it had no affect on me, because I had no desire to reach it.

My feet were bleeding continuously and all the blood clots from the past days made them rough and coarse and I couldn't help wondering how the loss of blood hadn't killed me yet. I was glad they weren't numb, because all the warm blood tricking down and falling into the nothingness, all the pain was the best feeling I had ever experienced. It was like a drug to me, and I just knew that it was the only reason I had ever found to want to go on. If it stopped, then I wouldn't be able to live on. Not that death was an option I had, but I'd lose the only internal drive I had to live on.

The darkness was blinding me, enveloping me, consuming me, comforting me, reminding me that I'm too broken to be fixed, convincing me to give up and stop trying already.

Giving up and letting go... My helplessness was calling out to me, smiling at me warmly, so sweetly, and I was sure that no one had ever cared so much about me. It beckoned me in the sweetest voice I had ever heard, velvety and deep, consoling, healing and soothing me. I knew that I had always belonged in its arms, deep in its embrace, in it's warmth, like a baby in his mother's womb, with no cares, and nothing to worry about.

I tried once again to reach out to it. I was so close... all that I had to do was lose my balance and fall off into the bottomless abyss. But your callous, hateful strings, that connected you to me and ruthlessly controlled my body, yanked me back up like every other time I had tried earlier in vain. I was a puppet in your hands and you wouldn't let go of me.

You made me walk against my will to that vexing, flickering light that selfishly lit up only its end. And you said that it was hope, and I had to keep walking on to get to it. Why would you think that I would want hope? It was so far away, could you not see? I had been walking for days and it didn't appear to be any closer anyway. And besides, it was the last thing I wanted. I had lost faith in this trivial, utopian and non existent concept ages ago. I didn't want to go to that pointless place ever again. I just wanted to plummet down into the nothingness. That was 'joy' and 'hope' in my unfathomable world.

Your vicious strings tightened further around my bleeding wrists every time I tried to reach out to the one and only place I ever belonged. The warm blood felt should have felt pleasant on my skin, but I didn't enjoy this pain because it kept me from dying.

You didn't really leave me choice... I just blindly had to follow your ordain until I reached the damned ray of hope. You wouldn't let go of me, would you?

WC: 656

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