One writer's journey
She sat down at her old wooden desk, pen at the ready. Her thoughts raced. What shall I write today? Tilting her head to the side, a small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth before enveloping her delicate face. The purple ink began to fill the once blank sheet, each stroke a labor of pure joy as the words flowed from her mind, her heart, her very soul.
to write of romance and endless love
to love without boundaries
to learn from past mistakes
to laugh with all my heart
to be the woman I am meant to be
I will reach for the stars
Will not give up
Will give all that I have
Dare to dream the impossible dream
For anything in this life is possible
|Monday was hell. I'm not going to lie about that. Everything went wrong, pretty much.
It's my job to open the gas station 4 days a week. I hardly ever sleep well on Sunday night. Probably because I know how busy I'm going to be for the next 5 days, worried about making ends meet on a new business, trying to figure out where to get products that no one seems to have in stock, etc. Either I forgot to set my alarm, or it went off and I shut it off immediately and went back to sleep.
R, my husband wakes me 6:45. I'm usually up at 5 and out the door by 5:30. I rush out of bed, do my usual routine, minus the coffee and off I go. I heard him moving around, figured he wouldn't be too far behind me heading to work. My money-making time at work is 6-8 am. Losing a full hour of money was a hard pill for me to swallow.
At 7:30, R calls. The first thing he says is I've been in an accident. It's not just the shock that had me shaking most of the day. His voice was so shaken, that it had me shaking as well. He tells me the car is probably totaled. He loved that car. I hated that car, so of course, I feel guilty because I've told him for the last 4 years how much I hate that car. I call and wake our youngest, tell him to be ready to go get his dad. R shows up at work, tells me about the accident, and how if he'd been driving any faster, or hadn't seen the guy blowing the red light he and the car would've been ripped in half. Between his voice on the phone, and the thoughts that race upon hearing that, I just couldn't shake it all day.
I spilled a full bottle of Lemonade on a customer's 10 lottery tickets. Lucky for me it was a regular and he gave me a pass.
Things just went downhill for the rest of the day. And then, R tells me he's going to his soccer game that night.
Me: Are you out of your damn mind?
Me: You've been in an accident, you've worked your butt off all day, all of the trauma is going to hit you. You're not going.
R: goes back to work.
Well, of course, he went to his game. Seriously I was livid. Tempted to grab onto his leg and see if he could drag me out the door with him. I mean come on, we are 53 and 52. Our bodies do not heal like they used to, and we both have had broken bones that have led to arthritis and other issues that remind us they are there on a daily basis. If he hadn't been in an accident I probably would've smacked him upside the head, but I didn't.
I went to bed while he was gone. Tuesday he comes into work.
Me: You're limping
R: Yea, my knee
Me: How's your back? [he was feeling the accident before he came home from work Monday]
Me: Sigh, I told you not to do it. I told you not to go play soccer, that you'd be feeling everything.
R: I had to go. And I kicked ass!
Me: I give
Manic Monday - The Bangels - 1986