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 |  of a tennis player, hiker, writer |
 A bird in the bath. well, just before.  On court 1. Lookin' to own.  In Jax, enjoyin' some solid juniors tennis.  I love my new phone cam.  * Clears throat * “Um, Robin here, your friendly neighborhood MC(Mistress of Ceremonies). Welcome to my blog. In it you’ll find my rants, ramblings and random updates on everything ME... …and since I’m the typo queen and master of misspelling, these will be present in most, if not all my posts.”  A few of my better entries - all quick reads: |
| Quick lunch break blurb. Been frantically working on a project Carl dropped in Darrell’s lap and mine yesterday. (That doesn’t sound right) It’s great to be so busy – last week with the grants – now this. Plus, with Steve on board, I’m getting my office painted. I was planning on doing this anyway, but I’m so motivated now. I told Ben, the maintenance guy, Steve will help strip and wax the floors. YAY! I took out the club music, Audioslave is back in. Chris Cornell’s voice is singing “Show Me How To Live” Number seven is my fav.; (Shadow On The Sun) I usually hit repeat a few times whenever it plays. Charlie, the website guy just called, interrupting my lunch. He says, “Am I calling at a bad time?” Like I’m gonna turn down tech help. “No.” I lie. I really don’t need to eat my Chili anyway. The worst part, he can’t seem to get why I’m having a problem. He’s successful opened the page under three different browsers. Not the kind of words I want to hear. My stomach no longer wants Chili. I move it to the far corner of my desk. “Just what type of error message are you getting?.” “A hard one.” I say, learning lots of tech lingo during the past year. Although, I don’t quite yet know what a ‘soft’ error message is. But I’m sure I could fake my way around it. “Do you want me to send you a picture of it?” I offer, so now, during my lunch break, I took a picture of the screen, pasted it in an attachment and emailed him. He will get back with me. In my defense, I said, “Sarah can’t open it either, at JDS “- – the other tennis facility I whine when I say this. Mostly because I’m frustrated and don’t want to come off mean or rude. |
| I brought my club music today. Some mixed CD that someone burned. It’s got the Goodies song, 1 - 2 step, stuff like that. I need something to motivate me, right now its this music. I’m still suffering with increasingly intense pain. (I’m putting on my TENNS unit in a minute, to see if it helps) So, I need my peppy phone voice today. I’ve got a bah-zillion phone calls to make and I’m hoping the club music will distract me from my pain. YAY. I found my Brian Vahaly shirt. If you don’t know who Brian is, I forgive you. ( http://www.imagezfoto.com/gallery/ProAm ) I volunteered at the Return of Service Pro Am event. Adam invited me, Jaime said yes. I didn’t get there till the evening. So I missed the photo opt. I did get some from my personal camera at the end of the night. All the volunteers had to wear a long-sleeved Adidas shirt, on the back it says Brian Vahaly Brighter Future Foundation. ( http://www.gatennis.com/bvbff_tennis_scholarship.htm ) I haven’t been able to find my shirt, but I did this morning. It was a great event to volunteer for, well organized. Andy Roddick was there. While I didn’t get pictures of him, I did stand very close to him. Plus, and more importantly, I watched him play tennis. For my volunteering efforts, Jaime gave me a poster, with sigs of all the pros who attended. I gave it to Laney for Christmas. She was jealous of my trip to Atlanta that day. Autumn put her security deposit down on her new apartment. April first. Her move in date. She popped into the house for a few minutes yesterday evening and threw that fact at me. She was trying on different outfits, “Does dad know Shaun’s moving in with me?” she whispers. Even thought, her CD is blaring. No possible way he could hear her. I laughed. “It’s not funny.” She is worried. “What do you think he’s gonna say?” I’m laughing because earlier (this was yesterday during my lunch break) Shaun dropped by my work, and asked me the very same question. “I haven’t said anything to him.” I pause. “But, he should already know. Why don’t you just tell him.” “I don’t talk to dad.” I already know this fact. But I keep pushing for her to develop a relationship with her father, as I push him to do the same. Autumn is such a beautiful funny person, who wouldn’t want a relationship with her? I will miss her when she moves out. (how many times have I typed this?) Laney has big plans for Autumn’s room when she’s gone. I have big plans for Laney’s old room, when Autumn’s out. |
| Renee has casually mentioned to me, over the phone that she plans on putting in for a job in Alaska! Matching her cavalierness, I respond “Oh. How nice.” ( not even sure if cavalierness is a word, if it’s not it should be) Then, she proceeds to tell me how she tried to locate a buddy of hers who held a position in some guy answered the phone and told Renee her friend no longer works there, and they desperately need someone. Especially a highly motivated person. Renee fits this bill. My heart sinks. Alaska. I’ll never see her. It took me years to forgive her for the move to West Virginia, And while the forgiveness arrived late, it’s ultimate embracement solely rested on the fact that Renee holds twin status. Identical twin status. So now, I’m asking myself, ‘Are the bonds of sisterhood, identical twinhood, strong enough for me to forgive her if she does pack up and move to the other side of the country? (I know I will.) I almost moved to Coos Bay, OR. I took a trip out there this past summer, brought Laney, just to have a peek at the place Mom lives there. What a great little town. I could walk everywhere; the bank, movie theater, Walmart – only it was called the bi mart – grocery store. For a visually impaired person, the ability to walk everywhere provides a huge advantage. I came back to work and joked with Carl that I was moving. “Even though,” I told him “They only have two tennis courts. And, they are locked up. You have to go to city hall to obtain a key. The key isn’t available on weekends either.” “Don’t even say that. You aren’t leaving.” He said. Autumn didn’t wan to hear about me even considering the move. She said, “But what about your grandchildren?” FYI, I don’t have grandchildren yet. I politely reminded her of this fact. “But you will. Don’t expect me to travel across the country just because YOU want to move.” “Laney would have fun out there.” I said. This is true, Laney’s idealism isn’t exactly a perfect match for the Bible Belt Deep South we live in. “Whatever. You know you won’t move.” Moving to Coos Bay isn’t really a part of my future plans. But neither is Renee, moving to Alaska. |
| It’s Valentines Day. If you’re into all that, hope yours is happy. Personally, I’m not. Some advertising genius working for Hershey’s had a power lunch with the dude in charge of sales at the local jewelry shop and they brainstormed, over glasses of wine and pasta covered in marinara sauce, for ways to increase sales after the Christmas season was over. Thus, Valentines Day was created. As a means of sucking money out of the pockets of men in order to make women feel loved. It’s an excellent opportunity for the jewelry store sales people to get commissions, allowing them to pay off their charge cards which were maxed out the previous Christmas. But Robin, I can hear you saying, What about legend? The Roman guy jailed and executed for refusing to give up Christianity? Isn’t that the true origin of St. Valentine’s Day? How he supposedly gave a note to someone’s daughter saying ‘Love your Valentine.’? And then, there’s Miss Esther Howland? What about her? We thought SHE was the one given credit for sending the first Valentine’s Day card in the U.S. Back in the 1800’s or something. Long before the concept of power lunches were an accepted practice. I’d just smile, if you said that to me. I like my story better. Anyway, a friend of mine, calls today VD day. Which so totally cracks me up. He’ll be at work in a few minutes. I plan on calling him up to say Happy VD Day to you.  Anyway, Happy Valentine’s Day to you. |
| How could I forget? Tomorrow at around eleven, I get to train Steve! Yep. The city finally agreed to let me hire someone. It’s only been ten weeks since Marquis quit. Huge long story there, but I’ll never post it in this blog. At least Steve knows about the computer. I know Lucia will want me to help run this site during some of the MTA tournaments. Now that Steve is on. I still don’t know. Laney always gets so busy in the summer, and I do want some weekends open. Sarah will need help with her tournaments since this will be the first year she actually runs them. I’m supposed to train her on TDM this Friday. I finally learned how to schedule the draw sites and times! Every time T. or M tried to explain, it was during a big group lecture o through power point, and I just didn’t get it. Adam and I went to Atlanta one day, just to learn. He still doesn’t know. But last weekend, at the CDW, I took Jerry’s and Joyce’s class o n Advanced TDM. It was Sunday, and I was sooooo tired. Armed with a huge cup of black coffee, I entered the room late. All the seats were taken but one. To my surprise, they had laptop computers set up at all the tables. We had to share them. I felt bad, drinking coffee next to a laptop. God forbid I should actually spill any. (Like Saturday morning, when I sat down at a small table w/ two guys – one hit the table with his leg of something and the motion spilled my coffee everywhere. I was irritated but just smiled, especially when he said he was sorry.) Anyway. Where was I? Oh yeah, I know Jerry and Joyce. They are excellent tech people. Extremely organized, well educated, and great at explaining their software. I thought it was great to have the laptops. Hands on experience always works better for me. Touching something, sorta brings it all into to focus. So now I know how to schedule the times. In the beginning, a year ago, I hated TDM. Tournament Data Management. A software application used to run tennis tournaments. Before TDM, we used TMS. It was great, easy to learn and I never had any trouble running it. Not so with TDM. The application was filled with trips and bugs and became a monster to me. It made me feel inept, incapable and incompetent. I wrote a letter to the tech team, the GTA office and even to our section office saying so. I was tired of people insinuating that the mistakes were mine. I was too tired, and probably not running the system correctly. Infuriated, I shot that letter off, saying that the tired tournament director is the audience TDM must perform for. Furthermore, I NEVER had this much trouble with TMS. TDM has come a long way since then. It is now an awesome program. However, it does not like my work computer. Forcing me to update it at home when ever I run a tournament at my facility. Thank goodness, my next tournament is at JDS! I can use Carl’s computer there. Or Lucia’s. What the hell am I doing? Thinking about work on my last little bit of the weekend? |
| YAY! I made my deadline last night, keeping me in the book contest. It sucks though. I mean my book does. No. really. It really sucks. I hate that its out there cuz usually, I don’t set items to be read, rated and reviewed until I am almost finished. Now, I’ve got sixteen chapters floating out there, stinking up my port. I keep reminding myself of my real goals in entering this contest. So far, four weeks in, I’ve already gotten better at what I call Power Writing. Getting a solid plot down quickly. Names I trip over them. When a new character surfaces, what do I name him or her? I entered a new family when I had to write the Goth chapter. Laney said to name the girl Raven. A cool name, but not believable on my end, so I vetoed that, and several others she suggested. That is a problem for me, when writing all these genres so unfamiliar to me, how believable are the characters and the plots I’ve set up. Can this story survive the longevity of this contest? Twenty two weeks? I’m bummed out right now because I’ve been in significant pain for three days now. My sleep was interrupted frequently during the night last night and activities were toned down today. Renee keeps telling me to ask the doctor for pain meds. Apparently, they don’t give you pain meds for nerve pain. Or at least ulnar nerve pain. She has back problems and takes ultracet? Not sure. I’ve tried hers, it does help. But I don’t like being on pain meds all the time. So, I try to deal. ‘I’m super fantastic’ I tell myself, ignoring my pain. Typing it now makes me think of last weekend which brings a smile to my face. Did I type the super fantastic story already? How I missed the lecture of the opening speaker of the Community Tennis Workshop. Everyone said how motivational he was. Saying you are super fantastic is the first step to feeling that way – then to becoming that way – super fantastic. There’s more to it than that, but anyway. So I missed the lecture and heard everyone talk about it. Then during the coarse of the weekend, I said it. When ever anyone asked how I was, I said “I’m super fantastic.” Everybody smiled. Thereby reinforcing my response. |
| Well I just checked email….omg! According to Carl, Sarah and I are invited on HIS trip to Hilton Head! The website guy…wants to meet us! What a blast it would be to get to go, however, that’s usually the time I party down at the facility; knowing my boss will be gone to PTR training. Carl says…’everybody loves Sarah and Robin’ like he’s using his ‘what about me?’ tone. I’ll bet Sarah goes no matter what. I’m not sure, depends on the dates and stuff. At the very least, its always nice to know you are doing a such a great job. |
| Well, its Friday, which means lots of detail work to do. Bank deposits, timesheets, the remaining of February’s work schedule needs to be finalized. You know, boring stuff. I was so furious this morning so being involved with meticulous detail will be good. Distracting. I guess. I’m leaving at two today. YAY for me. Adam is covering. I deal with two Adams, each with has a last name starting with the same letter. So when people say, “Which Adam?” I can’t just say, Adam D. And now, there are two Scotts. Actually, one Scott goes by his last name; Scott. He hates his first name. Starts with an F. He says I’m one of the few people who know it. Unknowingly, I told Laney his first name. She blurted it out in front of others. I had no idea the extent of his adversity…towards his birth name. Laney says it’s a cool name. She even has a guy at school with that name. A cute guy, with a French accent, so she says. I personally don’t know anyone by this name. Well, I used to watch a cartoon, where a cat had his name. But now I’m dating myself. I barely remember the cartoon. |
| For those of you following on w/ my book progression: I am caught up to speed w/ the chapters I lost, plus I wrote one chapter this morning. I tried to write last night but was distracted by the drummer, can't think of his name, playing the drums and singing at the same time. It ws The Band in The Last Waltz. Excellent piece of music documentary. What’s his name, um, Muddy Waters was hopping around like he had a grove to get on, singing Manish Boy (?) Is that the name of that song? I just remember it being in Risky Business when he turned his house into a um whatever! Back to what I was saying, The Last Waltz, Eric Clapton looked like a baby! In essence, I didn’t write last night. Bad Girl! http://theband.hiof.no/albums/last_waltz.html But, I did this morning. Got my comedy chapter written, not looking forward to the others, gothic, death, g/l. not my usual kind of writing. I’ll keep you posted. |
| Chris Cornell’s voice is soooo sexy. And no I did not just hear a skip in “I Am The Highway”! Not good. I should have burned this before now. |
| It’s breakfast time, and I’m drinking a cement thick banana soy shake one difficult swallow at a time. The heavy goopy substance sticking to the sides of my mouth as it slides down to the insides of my throat. I wonder what its doing to my stomach? Ugh! How bad do I really want to loose this weight? A size 9/10 is lookin’ better by the swallow. Well, Autumn, if you’re reading this I love you! But where the hell have you been? And don’t even try the …’I’m breaking you in for my ultimate departure …bullshit because it won’t wash with me. Why are you denying me the last few precious weeks of your residence in the only house you’ve ever known? It will seem strange when you finally do leave. Even if I am used to you not being there. |
| Could I be any more frustrated? My day for technical malfunctions is today. I have lost everything I wrote over this past weekend! Two chapters of my book and staff meeting minutes! How could this happen? I know, I know, I should have uploaded everything onto the hard drive when I stayed at home Monday, emailed my documents to the office and been happy. BUT NO! The computer keeps saying the A media is not accessible; the disc is not recognizable and may need to be formatted. Well, it was working perfectly fine throughout the entire weekend! I so don’t want to re-write two chapters! And don’t ask me to remember the staff notes. I was brain dead as it was, during the impromptu meeting; with barely any sleep Saturday evening and such an early start on Sunday. What am I gonna do? Well, at least I got a lot of grant research out of the way-although there is way too much left, but the important ones, and several Carl doesn’t even know about, I got printed and the initial forms penciled in. I’d say, despite my difficulties, I’ve had a productive day. It’s raining here, so I get to leave in a few minutes. YAY for me. |
| Okay so I don’t stretch my left ring finger down to control button and reach over with my right to hit “S” and my compie trips. I mean, an automatic motion, to save my work, like every thirty seconds and now I want to go and wait thirty-five seconds, like maybe I’m typing a really creative thought and the compie says “NO WAY! You will not ignore me, I’ll show you, I’ll shut down Word. So now, my last scene vanished. Not completely into thin air, but close. I quickly tried to recover but was drastically disappointed that I still lost several paragraphs. I re-read my document, trying to commit my words to memory, then attempted to re-save. Oh no. compie must be madder than usual, cuz I couldn’t do it. I kept getting error messages, like I’m an IT chick and know just what to do. “Are ya trying to kill me?” I ask the screen. Naturally, I get another error message, even more complex than the previous, and just as undecipherable. “Okay fine!” This time I’m yelling. Big mistake. Cost me a reboot too. So now, I’m offering bribes, making promises, and speaking softly, in a desperate gesture to get compie back on my side. “What would I do without you?” I say, he doesn’t care. The damage is done. I always expect him to run at 110%, never once paying homage to his unselfish efforts. In fact, he reminds me, “Lots of nights, you forget to shut me down! Leaving me running all night long, with no sleep. What kind of person are you?” "A writer." I mumble. |
I’m off in a few minutes to go to Destin Florida. National CTW (Community Tennis Workshop) I went two years ago and it was sooooo much fun. They feed you all of your meals, plus snacks in between and, every night for one hour they have an open bar! Tonight, after we register and go to dinner, all the Georgia folks are supposed to meet for a small party. I did eight minutes of step this morning, then when I got to work, waiting on Carl, I walked around the park one time. Which means I get to eat what I want today. Hehehe. Carl is bringing his laptop and I plan on working on my book during the trip down. At least I hope to. I have to sit next to L. and she loves to talk, but I really want to get this done, so I won’t be rude, but I hope I’m able to convey to her the importance of this. I wish I liked her more. She thinks were better friends than we are. Since I have to work with her, I’d rather not let her know. Two years ago, she captained a tennis team I was on. I found out one day too late, that we were a wild card and could have gone to STATE!. No, with my T.O.S arms, "Pain Pain Go Away"  , I’ll never get to go. Even though its wrong to hold a grudge, I cant’ get past it. She blew an opportunity for me that I can never get back.Then, I try and tell myself, well, maybe the powers that be didn’t want me there for reasons I can’t imagine. Speaking of tennis, Carl is going to try and teach me a two handed forehand. Did I mention that already??? I’ll probably say it three hundred times, especially if it works out for me. Tennis is such a great sport for keeping the weight off. |
| I’ve got forty-five minutes before I clock in and I’ve shut my door. I hope the phone doesn’t ring. I’m almost tempted to cut it off. Why didn’t I purchase that cheap-ass answering machine while I was at Fred’s last night? I went shopping for my trip; we went to Pet Smart – Autumn had to buy some stuff for Kovu, then we went to Fred’s, out to eat, and then finally to Walmart. I can’t find any warm-up clothes and don’t have time to do the mall thing. Wish I could sneak away from work today to do that. Dinner at El Sombrero. M.’s boyfriend treated! WoooHoooo! I totally blew my diet. It’s too hard to resist all those chips and salsa when its just sitting there, staring you in the face and your stomach is growling with hunger. I quickly caved and dove right in, telling myself how wonderful I was earlier, sticking to my diet. And promising to do the same today. I brought a tomato, soy yogurt, and plan to make a delicious soy, banana blueberry shake with my mini blender. I had oatmeal for breakfast, so, things should be fine. Since Autumn drove Laney home first, the shopping was less stressful. I browsed the isles w/out the usually begging for needless expensive items. But I kept seeing things I thought Laney would like. Of course I didn’t buy them. That would put the kiss of death on them. Being a teenager, anything I even remotely like, she detests. I remember Autumn going through that phase, bringing home a pair of pants I thought was her style and she wouldn’t touch. So, this morning, I told Laney all the things I almost bought for her, just to see her reaction. Some of them, she was glad I didn’t get. Got distracted with {bitem: Maybe I'll post more at lunch. |
| Stressing out a bit. I did write a chapter yesterday, and I was quite proud of myself, but, I’m leaving for the Community Development Workshop Friday morning and realistically, writing during throughout the weekend will be thin. In order to stay on track, I should get two or three chapters in by tomorrow evening. I know what I’m writing for my reference chapter so I guess I should get pecking away. |
| I know I’ve written an entry already, and I should be doing something physically active, but I thought I’d Power Write. So, for twenty minutes, I’m gonna write straight without stopping. Mostly as an excising in writing my book. In that never – ending seazrch to be a writer who can get a quality piece down quickly. Like my sister Lisa. She’s great at it. I et jealous. Also, I’m fighting the urge to eat. If those potato chips over there don’t shut the hell up, I just may have to eat them! God my office is such a mess. Tournament desk supplies are everywhere. The staff snacks too, are calling out to me. Every where I look there is junk food. Sit up straight, pull your stomach muscles in and write. Throw the food away and tell Bonnie we ate it all in the two days the tournament was here. Yesterday, we had a bag of Krispy Kreme doughnuts and I ate so many of them I finally handed the half eaten bag to a tournament player and said, “Here, take these home with you.” He was ecstatic, as he just got off the court and was starving. What a nightmare the tournament was – on some levels anyway. I can’t imagine being the tournament director and dealing with all of it. First, the draws were full. 32 was the limit and ages 12, 14, 16, & 18. Boys and girls. It looked to be a very successful tournament. And with B. as the T/D, I knew it would be. Well, then, we were forcastied with the ice storm. Freezing cold temps with icy rain. She cancelled Saturday’s matches, which personally was a good thing cuz ZI never would have gotten my book done. We resumed play on Sunday using Saturday’s original schedule. But, the courts were wet, so matches were delayed till ten thirty. I got to work at 8:15 to get things ready. We started around eleven, but w/ only a few courts. It was awful. At least parents were understanding. Once we put some on, we gradually added more,. Then, I heard that JDS only had six courts. Not sure how many they were supposed to put on, but it should have been around twenty. They were REALLY backed up. So, when players from there got to my tennis center, they were upset. We had the fortunate luck of having half of a level drop due to weather, so we caught right up. Lots of players dropped, messing up the draw and causing confusion. Sometimes I wonder if not penalizing them for defaults is a good thing. The tournament was cut shorts. Some people were glad to get out of Macon, having travel into town on Friday evening, wasting their Saturday in a hotel room – theses people were all to glad to leave. But some were mad, saying they went through so much to get here. What a shame for them, to travel so far, and get wins through defaults. Not really getting to play. I said to myself, I’d have cracked if I was the T/D. And since B. is soooo organized, you know things would have been worse if it were run by people like me. I hate getting to work early. Hearing the phone ring, usually I answer it, but since I’m power writing, I’m ignoring it. I have ten more minutes and by golly I’m not clocking in. The ringing is an annoying interruption because I feel guilty. Usually, I get sucked in and pick it up and say hello. Getting stuck working more than I should. Feeling unappreciated for my extra efforts which seem to go unnoticed. That’s how I found w.com in the first place. I was coming in early, since Laney gets dropped off at school at eight and my work is just round the corner from her school. I’d start work as soon as I got here. Then, I go into this huge fight with my boss. Long story. So I declared an end to it. Got on the internet and surfed for writing sites, not sure what I’d find. And boom! There it was, Stories.com. I can’t even remember why I chose if from the list of others but I did. You could create a book then and I had a journal and was typing away. Boy it felt good. Gradually, I’ve started doing more work when I’m not on the clock again. Now that I’m menopausal, I’m pissed off all the time and have no patience, so, I’m getting back to the no working unless I’m on my forty. A tiny way to help me feel better I suppose. I’ve got five more minutes, but I’ll upload this now so I can clock in right on time. |
| Whatever! I really need to find some Tylenol and Advil and take my Claritin. But for some reason, I keep doing other things. Why? Do I want to suffer with this horrible sinus headache? What’s wrong with me? I did exercise this morning. Fourteen minutes of step aerobics, listening to blues music. During those few minutes, I felt glorious! Lately, I’ve dreaded working out, so enjoying it was great, making me think I could actually loose this weight. Even still, afterwards, the emotional self-induced beating began. Why does it matter what I weigh? You’ll never stick with it, Then for good measure, the verbal self-thrashing ventured onto other fields; work, marriage, motherhood. When I was finished, my glorious feeling a distant memory. I’m such an idiot. Work at one but Autumn’s dropping me off at noon. It sucks not being able to drive. For that hour, I know Ben will think I’m on the clock, even when I tell him I’m not. And I’ll end up working some. I should go and hit on the wall, even for ten minutes. I’ll be happy about the additional exercise. I hate work at night. I hope it rains, then I’ll get to come home early tonight. Come home to what? Everyone seems to fight all the time. We have too many animals and our time is spent on taking care of them. I love the birds, but not nearly as much as Bryan. I adore the Dobermans, and of course Kovu. None of them can intermingle. Which is a difference of opinion when raising them. I think they will all adapt to their surroundings. I wanted the Dobermans, we call them ‘the girls’ to be able to come into the den where the birds are but Bryan said no. I see thousands of pictures of birds and other animals, cats, dogs, but he thinks something will happen. So, I didn’t try. Cuz if something did happen, he’d blame me. So now, I blame him, because the cat, when he’s in the house, is shut up in one room( he comes in at night) the dogs only can be in the kitchen. And the birds in the den. All this separation takes more time, and is, at least to me more stressful. Quick book update. Not happy with the book, but, I did meet the deadline. I’m setting a goal: write four to five hundred words a day on the book starting today. And, spend thirty minutes editing a previous chapter. |
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