|Not on much anymore. Mom's Alzheimer's...what can I say...it's worse than any horror story I've ever read/written. |
She tried to eat her fingers today. NO, not just chew on them. When I asked her to stop, she got angry and said she didn't see the big deal. I actually had to utter the words "We don't eat fingers." One minute she can do a task, like use a spoon or sit down, 3 minutes later the skill is lost only to return 20 minutes later only to disappear 2 minutes after...It's a complete mind-****.
Asking for help gets me pity from "friends" who are fine with social distancing ALL THE TIME when it comes to my mom with Alzheimer's. Quarantine for COVID-19 for 6 weeks has everyone in complete and utter panic...I've been doing it for 4 years now. Imagine.
Neighbors don't understand...they complain about the unmanicured lawn, they don't offer help, they don't ask.
Doctors stick a drug in our face for mom that frankly doesn't help but costs an arm and a leg. Refusing to give the drug, results in a lecture about the dangers of not giving the drug, how it will shorten their life, how it will make everything worse (as if that is somehow possible). Meanwhile they ignore your reports of night terrors, toilet issues and desperate cries for help.
Family says "But they cared for you when you were a baby," No, just no. Wiping my babies dirty bottom is not the same as wiping mom's. My child could learn things. There was hope knowing one day he would dress himself, we would celebrate his first steps, his first words. Instead, we mourn...everyday there is something mom can't do she could the day before. We mourn she can no longer dress herself. We fear the day she won't be able to stand up/walk.
Then there are the days when she's forgotten that my dad died & insists we go get him...as if mourning his loss wasn't hard enough, as if I can remind her 20 times a day he's dead.
And then on top of it all...I still have to deal with traffic and finances, medical problems, cats, dogs, the farm, cooking, cleaning, shopping, every day things most people take in stride, except I have no energy left to do it. Even more fun when someone suggests "you need a break!"...sure, when will you be over to take care of mom?
There. In a nutshell is more than you probably wanted to know. But I'm catching up on all the newsfeed entries I haven't been about to make over the past 4 years and probably won't be able to make for some time to come.
Stay safe & keep writing.