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Not on much anymore. Mom's Alzheimer's...what can I say...it's worse than any horror story I've ever read/written.

She tried to eat her fingers today. NO, not just chew on them. When I asked her to stop, she got angry and said she didn't see the big deal. I actually had to utter the words "We don't eat fingers." One minute she can do a task, like use a spoon or sit down, 3 minutes later the skill is lost only to return 20 minutes later only to disappear 2 minutes after...It's a complete mind-****.

Asking for help gets me pity from "friends" who are fine with social distancing ALL THE TIME when it comes to my mom with Alzheimer's. Quarantine for COVID-19 for 6 weeks has everyone in complete and utter panic...I've been doing it for 4 years now. Imagine.

Neighbors don't understand...they complain about the unmanicured lawn, they don't offer help, they don't ask.

Doctors stick a drug in our face for mom that frankly doesn't help but costs an arm and a leg. Refusing to give the drug, results in a lecture about the dangers of not giving the drug, how it will shorten their life, how it will make everything worse (as if that is somehow possible). Meanwhile they ignore your reports of night terrors, toilet issues and desperate cries for help.

Family says "But they cared for you when you were a baby," No, just no. Wiping my babies dirty bottom is not the same as wiping mom's. My child could learn things. There was hope knowing one day he would dress himself, we would celebrate his first steps, his first words. Instead, we mourn...everyday there is something mom can't do she could the day before. We mourn she can no longer dress herself. We fear the day she won't be able to stand up/walk.

Then there are the days when she's forgotten that my dad died & insists we go get him...as if mourning his loss wasn't hard enough, as if I can remind her 20 times a day he's dead.

And then on top of it all...I still have to deal with traffic and finances, medical problems, cats, dogs, the farm, cooking, cleaning, shopping, every day things most people take in stride, except I have no energy left to do it. Even more fun when someone suggests "you need a break!"...sure, when will you be over to take care of mom?

There. In a nutshell is more than you probably wanted to know. But I'm catching up on all the newsfeed entries I haven't been about to make over the past 4 years and probably won't be able to make for some time to come.

Stay safe & keep writing.
While there is nothing I can do for you physically, if you ever need to vent/talk, send me a message
How is your mom's mood? I have a friend who grew up with an abusive mom, mom now has Alzheimer's and she's lovely. Lovely people turn mean.

This disease is the worst and if you ever need to talk, please don't hesitate in reaching out.

*Hug1**hug**Hug2*
I really feel for you Cobe - no-one wants to go through that with their parent, it is a real shame there is not more support for carers where you live *Hearty*
can i just give up now?

3 years of taking care of mom with alzheimer's and it just gets worse everyday

I have no help

My sister texts and tells me she is out camping or riding jet skis or on the beach or having a night out with her hubby and oh, could I come help her fix her bathroom sink this weekend ...

no one in the family calls or visits or even sends birthday cards

I guess I should have been prepared for this. Raising a child with autism prepares you to be isolated and alone without help, it prepares you for incomprehensible rages and the inability to rationalize logically, it prepares you to be a sacrificial pawn in this world without a life of your own, it prepares you for endless doctor visits and testing and ultimately the knowledge that you can do absolutely nothing to take your child's struggles away, ... it prepares you to not matter to anyone else.

i'm done. I can't eat, can't sleep, and spend more time fighting back tears than breathing.
I hear you. [hugs] You are stronger than you know. *AwarenessP*
I added a new entry to my blog.
 From Ridiculous to Irrelevant  (18+)
A journey of care giving for a loved one with Alzheimer's
#2183291 by Cobe
I started a new blog. Come join me!
 From Ridiculous to Irrelevant  (18+)
A journey of care giving for a loved one with Alzheimer's
#2183291 by Cobe
extremely ill here... going on 8 days
Don't push it, just get well.
Lots of well wishes coming your way! Rest, Chicken soup, and Vitamin C!
2000' of 5 foot welded wire fencing and the dogs found the one hole, bounded out onto the road, and ran for a mile and a half without pausing. Luckily they met some other dogs tied up on their farm or who knows how long the search would have been ...
I've added a new entry to my book, "30 days of blogging:
         "Grumpy Old Lady thoughts
Today I stepped on a staple barefoot in the dark, sliced open my thumb while carving on a wooden spoon, fell backwards over a crate full of water in front of 10 strangers, and messed up my knee moving water.

Apparently I wasn't supposed to move.

At all.
Hmmm,I see you making a bundle on designing a line of clothing apparel made from bubble wrap, kevlar, and Velcro. *Smile*.
Elle  
I hope tomorrow is better, and all your wounds heal quickly!
It seems horribly bad of me that while I'm a writer, and I find friends here and there among other writers, I don't enjoy my time spent with most writers ... I've been taking an MFA class with 5 students in it and while I might be friends with one of them, I can not wait to remove the others from my Facebook list. Ugh, ugh and more ugh.

At first, when I didn't like them, I kept telling myself I was still grieving my dad's death and it was affecting how I viewed everything... that I just needed to keep plowing ahead. But the reality of grief is that it does change your perspective on life and therefore what you'll tolerate and therefore who you want to be associated with. (and politics are not enough to base friendship on, trust me)

Sigh.

I guess I'm just that horrible, reclusive, oddball writer ...
Erin, grief does change view on life and people around you. I know this from my own experience and from plenty of conversations with the other people who lost a parent(s). Though sometimes we just don't find many common things with just everyone and that's okay. Someone said: friends are family that we choose for ourselves, so we want to make sure to choose a good one *Smile*. There's nothing horrible with that.
Just so you know ... 9 months of grief has not been enough time for me to process my dad's death and the subsequent life changes that has brought about ... or enough time for me to engage in the writing world again. I keep trying but I'm just not there.
*SuitHeart*
Aw, you'll get there, and we will still be here. Sorry for your profound loss.
Be gentle with yourself. Grieving doesn't follow a schedule. You're juggling many things. Make a time each day to jot down items or events that have made you smile. *Hug1**hug**Hug2*