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Leave a scribble for Catherine Tomase...
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Notes by Catherine Tomase, in chronological orderNotes by Catherine Tomase
(My opening sentence). He was there, outside the schoolyard gate and he noticed the way the mean girls tormented her so he stepped up, introduced himself as her long lost Uncle Peter, and walked her home from school.
Nice. Though it seems a bit long-winded to me. Maybe consider breaking at "stepped up" and start again with "He introduced himself." That's just my opinion, though. It's your opener. Do what works best for you. *Heart* I just know I get complaints about my sentences being too long, so if I see another sentence that seems long, I try to point it out to help others and as a reminder to myself. lol

Keep going! What's the genre?
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