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Edited
Hello, all you lovely ladies (yes, that includes the lads). I'm starting an editing blog soon where I take a few lines and edit them for excess or unnecessary words, streamlining, word choice, etc, all the technical fixings. So if you have a short story or first chapter you would like edited, send it my way. I'll edit it (up to a soft cap of 3000 words) and upload the first few sentences to my blog.
Hello, all you wonderful people.
It's been a while, an eternity of sloth, repugnant actions and vile depravity. In short, I've been busy writing, working and advertising some of our published works. I hope to return fully when the full-length novel I'm working on is finished, but until then we're about ready to publish our second novel. It's been on and off Writing for reviews, edits and largely glowing praise. The book in question is the Dark Fantasy story The City of Locked Doors.
It's went on preorder today and we'll start advertising it soon, but first and foremost we need reviews. It's about a 70000 word book (much shorter than our previous marathon that was TDTS, and a mere sixth of its size) and I'd like to ask some, or anyone who's interested, to read and review it on Amazon and Goodreads. The books is imaginative, dark and comedic. Its a mix of fantasy and steampunk with a dangerous antihero protagonist.
I'd be happy to offer a couple thousand GP's to anybody who agrees (rendered after a competent review is submitted) or review a couple of chapters or stories from your portfolio.
Here's the synopsis for The City of Locked Doors-
Four hundred years ago a plague befell the world. It warped the bodies of all organic things and drove both man and beast rabid during the night. Law and order vanished in a matter of days, along with most of the human race.
Years passed and from this madness rose the Tyrants, a brutal god-like sect of individuals who could enforce their will on the surviving dregs of humanity. With their tyranny, they brought order back into the world and established settlements. A convoluted semblance of civilization began aided by the magic of Necromancy, to raise those butchered in the night, and Hemomancy, to heal their injuries.
In Umbras, domain of the Tyrant Lock-And-Key, all humans are imprisoned at night where they cannot harm others or the city. Beyond that however, Lock-And-Key does little to interfere with the lives of her subjects. They live and bide with a tentative happiness in the enforced peace her presence brings, until, in the dark of one night, a stranger comes to Umbras.
If you guys like the sound of it and want to give it a try, just send me an email on Writing.
I wish you all nothing but the very best of luck. :)
I've read and reviewed the entire book already. Can I use that review on Goodreads? Unless you didn't like my overall review? It's cool if you didn't like it.
Greeting my esoteric scoundrels, how are you all doing? Great? That's terrible to hear. :D

After an arduous four and a half weeks of gruelling, bone-liquifying labour my brother has finally completed another drawing. This one is the cover for one of the stories I uploaded here several months ago under the nefarious and droll title The Ember Prince. Nowadays it bears the far more magnanimous moniker A Crime of Honour. The story itself was pretty well received by everyone (excluding devious and utterly inhumane reader with entirely accurate gripes.) So, for those of you who liked the story, and for those of you who never read it, I present you with the cover...

http://peace-in-violence.deviantart.com/art/A-crime-of-honor-672340005

I hope all you heinous philanthropists enjoy it and wish you a wealth of fortune and joy. :)
Hello, all you wonderful buttercups and gumdrops. :)

One of my favourite things about writing and reading is when I stumble across a beautiful description. That description can be the full run-down of character or scene, or just a simple, elegant simile. ("darker than a car full of assholes" is one my personal favourites because it's just so colourful and perfect.)
This love led me into many, let's say, misguided attempts at similes where I threw words together because they sounded cool and had a marginal connection to my intended message. This led to me being known among my family (completely undeservedly :p) as "crazy/bad simile person."
Now, good similes themselves aren't that hard to find as most people manage to a couple good ones every now and then. Descriptions, on the other hand, are a little bit rarer. Good Environment descriptions, in particular, are rare.
Every book has them, but most of the time they're just background information, a canvas on which the characters can act. They are rarely ever truly part of the story. I think this is a huge waste, just look at how much a beautiful scene can add to a movie!
Scenes and moments like that surround us, places where an individual or nature decided to drop something unusual a beautiful, things that stick with us.
I'm lucky enough to have two such things right next to me. One of them is man-made.
My sister loves puzzles and would go through phases where she would complete three, four or five of them in a month's time. But she never wanted to break them down when she was done, so we framed them and hung them on our walls. Now, instead of pictures, art or weird urns, are walls a decorated with dozens of gorgeous puzzles. Thus, I am constantly surrounded with a feast of colour and imagination in every room.
Can imagine what that kind of scene could do in a book? How perfectly it would introduce the person who lived in that house to the reader and how it would draw them in with something unique?
So my question for you all wonderful turnips and cabbages is: What unusual, beautiful thing have you stumbled across in your travels to the soup pot?
Greeting my platonically derelict rivals! Of late, I've been thinking of how my notebook is mostly just a way to advertise my egregiously preposterous work. (I'm being extra nonsensical today to atone for the lack in my previous post.) And I don't like this state of affairs. So, I've decided to upload some of my horrifically bad jokes from time to time. Enjoy :).

My siblings and I are sitting at a table around three mostly empty salad bowls and I lift up the dressing container in a hand. "I dare you, " I say to my brother, " to take a swig of this." Then, thinking of the "put hairs on your chest" line, add, "It's so sharp it'll take the hairs right off your chest!"
He opens his mouth to respond, but I interrupt, "It's positively hairifying. :D"
Hey, everybody (no fun greeting because I'm suffering a dearth of whimsy at the moment.) I'm Looking for people who would be interested in reviewing a full book. It's my story the City of Locked Doors, which is about 13 chapter's long and about 70000 words. I know that's a lot of work so I understand if none of you want to commit that much time, but I've gotten consistently really good feedback if that helps.
It's a dark fantasy story set in a world ruled by a curse. This curse takes the shape of a plague, and inflicts a bestial change on the surviving human population at night.
The story focus on a man called Noir who (like a few others, can resist the change. He's an anti-hero whose main focus is revenge on a group of people who killed his brother, but there's more going beneath the surface.

That's the joist of the story and I don't need a line-by-line or proofreading, I just need to get a feel for the story as a whole. I'm thinking of offering about 5000 GP to anyone who finishes the whole book.

If you're interested, please contact me for the passcodes.

Thanks and sorry for the long post.
Now, if you'll forgive me I have to go see if I can remember where I buried my whimsy...
It is an AWESOME book. I have reviewed most of the chapters so far :)
The previous link to Noir's glamorous physiognomy seems to recline a little more toward the broken side of things so here's a new and improved version. Appologies.

http://peace-in-violence.deviantart.com/art/Noir-The-City-of-locked-doors-662161...
It's perfect! I LOVE it! I likewise have an artistic sister whom I've coerced into drawing up various things for my novel as well. We are, in fact, making a T-shirt with her designs on it, featuring my book.
Greetings from a distant, and mildly befuddled imagination!
I recently coerced my brother into drawing a concept art for the main character in my story the City of Locked Doors, Noir. He's an anti-hero, but also a powerful Shadowmancer (sorcerer in Lehman's terms) and quite possibly insane. Here's the picture

http://peace-in-violence.deviantart.com/art/Noir-The-City-of-locked-doors-662052...

I hope you all enjoy and wish you nothing but the very best of luck.

P.S His hair's supposed to be steel, but that's a little hard to see in this picture.
The link doesn't work *sad face*
Hello, my scallywags and scoundrels! I've just uploaded the final chapter for the Ember Prince wherein Surr finally confronts the villainous Emperor Sarizen. *epic drums sound in the background*
Anyway that up and ready to be read for anyone who's interested.
On a related topic, I've tentatively settled on the title When Honor Demands Treachery to replace the Ember Prince. Any thoughts? Treachery might be switched for treason.

Finally, I plan on uploading chapter seven for the City of Locked Doors soon and have another two novellas that might make an appearance here in the next couple weeks.
That's it, my dastardly dandruffs, I wish you all nothing but the very best of luck. :)
Hello, my various dubious minions :) I've just uploaded the third chapter for The Ember Prince in which Surr attends a party.

On a second, and more interesting note, I've also finally upload chapter six for the City of Locked Doors. In this chapter, Solomon Doll takes abandons the Dollhouse to Noir's care; god help Rias Dorian.
Hmm, I'm considering changing the title of The Ember Prince to The Treachery of Honorable Men.
Any thoughts?"
But Aly, if the title "fits more" into the fantasy genre, wouldn't that mean that it stands out less? Not to be insulting or anything, but "The Ember Prince" sounds like LITERALLY everything else out there. And I don't pick up books with a "typical" title, not even if the cover is good. "The Treachery of Honourable Men" is one of those tiltles like "The Gentlemen Bastards" who make you go like: wait a minute! How does this go down? *picks up book, looks at it, reads the blurb at the back*

Just a small note, Tristen: you might want to see if you can cut a few syllables. "The Treachery of Honourable Men" is a bit of a mouthful... Maybe find a word which means "honourable person"?
I can see where you're coming from, E.D. *Smile* I just kinda went with my honest first impression of both titles. The second title kind of went over my head a bit when I read it, and I think it spells out the theme a little *too* clearly. It doesn't speak of mystery or intrigue to me. I definitely get where you're saying the first title is just like everything else, though. It just seemed simpler and more in line with the genre to me.
The comment about the Treachery title telling too much about the story is unfortunately valid. I might still run with it over the Ember Prince because it is more unique.
Another possible title that struck me the other day is Blood of the Sun, do either of you prefer that one?
Hello, my various wonderful peers and slaves, I have uploaded the second chapter of my Ember Prince novella.