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Why the stars left my eyes

I had somehow succeeded
in losing track of my existence
in a pandemic whilst studying three careers
in one
as I grew apart from my faith that I am holding on
to for dear life.

I'm stuck between drinking and partying and life as such and being a farm girl.

And all I want is clarity
of this catastrophe
exploding in me
as I smile and laugh at the foolish joke my brother had made
about my current liking of the Korean ethnicity.

It might be breaking my heart slightly but there's so little left of it he might as well carry on.

And I doubt I believe in "a love so strong..."
I've been in the company
of my parents for
too long.
-HP*

  •   1 comment
Beautifully written, particularly the end. I get a feeling of disillusionment and of losing faith / hope in the world as it is (not just your religion).

I hope you get some clarity and peace!
My mother is no angel
My father is no saint
Sometimes the devil loves me
and God showers me with hate

Yet I still keep my faith
wrapped in linen
in the furthest chamber in my heart

For no particular reason
I guess.

But I'll see you at church next week
as I always do
I'll be in the corner
of the room
between the broken vases
and withered roses covered in thorns

HP*



  •   1 comment
I think the images are strong enough to be worked on. I do hybrid poetry and prose at times. There is a story here (set in a church?), a lament (broken vases/withered roses), a short poetic quatrain (your first four lines) that feels like mantra someone might repeat.

As is they are just stray thoughts, but I've come up with stories or poems with less to work with.
It's quite sad really, that my father doesn't seem to notice how he is pushing me in the same direction he is trying to blind me from.

I believe I might just pack my bag and leave.
Soon.
In a rush.
And he'll break into a pathetic million pieces as I do every day.
What a shame...

Are sympathizing for me or for him?
  •   1 comment
I'm so sorry about that. Perhaps you should talk to him. Definitely don't leave to punish him or "to show him" as it sounds like you are considering. Though at the appropriate age (depending on your nationality, culture, maturity level, financial status, etc.) there will be a time you will leave anyway. Just be sure you leave with love and grace in you heart for both you and him. *Care* Good luck!

Is it so wrong to want to imprint my body, mind, thoughts, and habits so permanently into another being that they won't be able to tosh around at night without feeling my weight sagging into the mattress beside them?

Or am I just a writer?
Is it so wrong to want to imprint my body, mind, thoughts, and habits so permanently into another being that they won't be able to tosh around at night without feeling my weight sagging into the mattress beside them?

Or am I just a writer?
  •   1 comment
Welcome to WdC! I'm not sure we've met, though I see you aren't brand new here. Interesting question and I love the final one. *Laugh* BTW, not a lot of people will see your posts until you have more fans. You currently only have 2, but they are active and good folks to know, so well done! *Bigsmile*

The way your posts in your Notebook work is that they appear on the Newsfeed. For you, you will see them on both the default Personal Newsfeed you see when you click Newsfeed to come here. But you will also see it on the Community Newsfeed, as will everyone on there because it shows what everyone is posting. The problem is, most folks don't ever go on the Community Newsfeed. *Frown*

To get more people to see your posts, you need more people to have clicked your Plus button. Schnujo Cujo Misses Fangus *Left* Pressing this helps you keep up with folks, so you want them to press yours. (No pressure to do so, but feel free to press mine...preferably twice. I like to think I'm helpful. *Laugh*) If someone presses your Plus button once, they have set you as a Favorite and you will appear on their Favorites list and will be easier to find. But this is all private and you will never know. If they press it twice, they have become a Fan of yours and you are notified. This is not private. I sometimes reward my fans and new fans get 10k, so that's why I suggest you press my Plus button twice. *Bigsmile*

So, the problem is that the default is your Personal Newsfeed that only shows posts from people who you have pressed the Plus button of. That means if a person hasn't pressed yours, they won't see what you've posted on the Newsfeed (AKA in your Notebook). That's why I encourage folks to go on the Community Newsfeed. To get there, on your Personal Newsfeed, along the top, you will see View the Community Newsfeed. Click that and you will see EVERYONE'S posts. *Smile* I'm always trying to get folks on the Community Newsfeed, but most folks don't go there, so you need to make more fans to see your posts and one way is to get on the Community Newsfeed and start meeting folks. Like posts, comment, answer questions, review posted items, etc. Get to know people and as they start to get to know you and like you, they'll click your Plus button. *Bigsmile* And don't forget to click theirs if you find someone you really enjoy as well. *Wink*

Good luck and welcome!
Welcome to Writing.com! Just stopping by to say hello, if you need anything or have any questions don't hesitate to reach out and ask!

Anni








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