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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/notebook/inkslinger357
Please follow an ASR rating.*
I poke my head in after a year? Two?

Everyone I thought would be blue is in fact blue. *Smirk2*
Schnujo aww, you're sweet! I've got too many other irons in the fire to skulk around here these days, sadly.

(I seriously can't believe I remembered how to tag people!!!)
Very glad you remember how to tag! *Laugh* I'm sorry you won't be around much, but am definitely glad you popped in! *Bigsmile*
Missed you Inkslinger please don't stay away so long next time. *Hug1**hug**Hug2**Hug1**hug**Hug2*
Happy 6th WDC Anniversary, Inkslinger !!!

Miss you around these parts. Hope life is treating you well! *Hug1**hug**Hug2*

*Heart*
Webbie *Witch*
Happy 5th Anniversary to you!!

To many more to come!


**Door creaks open** *Hand2* Hellloooo! Remember me? I've been away for a while. A lot has happened, I've written almost two other books and have my first off at the editor (I have an editor!!! *Shock2*

Annnyway, I have a few slots for ARC reviewers and was wondering if any of you lovely people would be interested in reviewing a Space-western/steampunk-sci-fi in exchange for a free copy?

I would be happy to provide more of a description for anyone interested!

Ok, I can't come back just yet so....***eases back out the door*** *Whistle*



https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1Zg3Yb75qunT_6NN530kFr7Wsxgeb2GGRb30sLcLxA0Y/edi...
I SPOTTED AN Inkslinger!!! YAY!!! Wait, where did it go???

Welcome back-ish! We've missed you!!!

CONGRATULATIONS ON THE BOOK STUFF!!! *Heart*
Inkslinger's are rare and beautiful creatures. Just to be able to catch a glimpse of one is indeed a treasured event. *Heart*
**ignore that apostrophe lol I got excited over the special occasion**
Kat  
Sympathies, good luck out there, and know that you will be missed while you're gone.
So, it's been kinda eventful locally and I haven't been around. Unfortunately, we're also about to get massive rain dumped on us by Florence over the weekend and not sure how that's going to go. *Shock* Anyway, if there was something I was supposed to do and am not doing, I likely don't have power.
Be sure to charge your phone, laptop, and anything like a battery bank for your phone, your Fitbit and whatnot. And if you lose power, be sure to put your phone on airplane mode or turn it off when you don't need it--Especially at night. *Wink* Take care!
Kat  
Hugs, stay safe!
So, I opened my email a couple days ago and found I was...nominated for best reviewing?! *Shock2* Say what? There's gotta be people out there better than me. *Rolling*

Anyway, thanks anonymous for being thoughtful and nominating me! *Heart*


I promise you it's not about being "better than". I was a judge last year, and though I can't speak for all judges, I can tell you it's a brutal job. You sit there thinking everyone should just get the award. The differences (for me anyway) were often razor thin.

Congrats on the nomination. *Heart*
FINALLY did a review! Why is it so hard to get back into the swing of it? *FacePalm*
And who am I to criticize?

I try not to. I try to apply what works for me to the next writer's work. I never comment without encouragement. I never comment without speaking to the good that I see.

And that ends it. If I get back one of those thanks-for-the-review-period e-mails, then look at the piece I reviewed and see that not a word has changed, that's fine.

I am not an editor, not a critic. There's no paycheck on the line here.
Been doing some revising on my WIP synopsis: Which sounds better? Or do either of them make the book sound interesting?

Original:
Rayn’s memories were stolen. The only clue to her past are dreams she is uncertain of and a medallion with a mysterious inscription. With the help of airship Captain, Solomand Black, and his questionable crew, she sets out to discover the truth. As the Coalition closes in, Rayn must choose whose side she is on, whether she remembers or not.

Revised: Rayn works as a gunsmith in the small town of Port Ashbury. She has no memories of who she is but is sure she does not belong in the dull Skyport with its constant stream of airships and travelers. When the haphazard airship pilot, Solomand Black, comes to town and offers her a job, Rayn seizes the opportunity she’s been waiting for to embark on a journey to uncover her past. But Solomand is keeping secrets from her. Is he someone from her past? Or merely a dangerous war criminal called the Black Recluse? As the Coalition closes in, and Rayn becomes more entangled with Solomand and his questionable crew, she must choose what side she is on, whether she remembers who she is or not.
Not hooked so far. Interesting is not enough when the synopsis predicts a poor reading experience.

The original is terse and doesn't connect the little information it offers, which predicts similar skipped-over essential information in the book. It doesn't offer enough information to be a good hook. The first sentence reads that she has memories that were stolen from someone else. To intro the MC with just a first name implies she doesn't have a last name like everyone else. The third implies she hires the airship. No clue what the Coalition is.

The revised version is overly wordy with redundant and non-essential info, and too many sentences, which does not predict good prose in the book. It does not make use of grammar structures to present the information in a well organized and efficient manner. Including more info than the original is an improvement. If the medallion is a key part of the plot, leaving it out is a minus. Haphazard and entangled aren't informative. No clue what the Coalition is. Insufficient information about the overall situation/problem/stakes [beyond her personal problem] that necessitates her choice. The whether or not makes it sound like her amnesia isn't as important to the plot as it is made to seem in the beginning. Using his first name in the second reference implies a romantic plot or subplot.

Elle  
On a personal note, I'd buy book #1 before book #2. Hopefully you can find a balance, and use some of NW's feedback. *Smile*
Elle I'm actually going for more of a blurb, so synopsis is probably the wrong description. I have gotten positive and constructive feedback on the shorter version elsewhere, as well. So, shorter it is.
So, trying to semi come back now that summer is drawing to an end. Who would be interested in a beta swap group? Sort of branching off of the novel writers group. Trying to think of ways to make it more active.