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I've added a new item to my portfolio:
 Chapter one ( The Dimmed Scar)  (13+)
first chapter of book I'm writing just want an opinion on it to see if i should continue
Amy stared at her clock the big red letters read '8:59' she gulped. It was almost time. Hey I just wanted to give a little challenge to see if you can come with a short story 500 words or less starting with that sentence.
Danny slipped off his grass stained shirt, wiping the sweat from his brow the sun beat down on him scorching his pale skin. It was his job to clean up his yard. Vines grew in every direction cling to the house and trees, the grass stood tall like a bean stock. Add the unbearably warm day where you could cook eggs on the sidewalk you could understand his distaste. Danny loved the bitter cold frost nipping at his nose the crackling fire warming up the house, giving this sense of being snuggled by a bear.

Can anyone give me their opinion on this. I'm working on a book.
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