I seem to have gotten my Facebook back (still no clue what "behavior" flagged me as "suspicious"--so to be safe, I'm never sharing anything on there again)...but now COVID-19 has finally hit my state.
Downstate, very far from here, but still. I was hoping it'd take longer...I'm supposed to have all my teeth pulled in a little over a week. And I seem to be prone to infections lately--had 2 UTIs in a row last summer/autumn--since I have a stoma, symptoms are different, and it felt just like the flu--plus another infection (of a kind of personal nature, though I didn't do anything to catch it) I've had for almost three years now, which failed to respond to all over-the-counter and prescription meds so the gynecologist gave up...and told me to go vegan. (He declared that he'd gone vegan and had lost 10lbs and felt great...last I heard, some time after he'd terminated my case, he retired for health reasons. I guess going vegan doesn't help everything.)
Anyway...since NOTHING had worked, I wondered if something might have gone wrong with my immune system. (This particular infection shows up a lot in immunocompromised people.) Since that was the only thing we hadn't looked into. Granted, he showed no interest in finding the CAUSE of the issue, just in treating the symptoms...yet I tried to broach the subject to him--should I do anything about my immune function? By which I meant, have it tested somehow? He just suggested I watch a nutrition documentary, and go vegan. Never mind that one of my meds contains pork thyroid...I'm very skeptical of a doctor who won't look for underlying causes, jokes/brushes it off when you suggest what the precipitating event might've been, and thinks that a drastic diet change, when he doesn't know all my ongoing digestive and vitamin issues, will "cure" me when it obviously didn't cure him. (I think he also mixed me up with another client. That docu he suggested was about diet vs. bariatric surgery. Wha--?? Not once have I ever expressed interest in weight-loss surgery, in fact, I'm against getting it for myself. No clue why he recommended that.)
...So, the "Tl;dr" is, my immune system could be compromised for all I know, but because I had an indifferent doctor, I won't find out for sure until I get a really bad infection, and I sure seem to get them more easily lately. I guess I'll find out the hard way as usual.
And now I'm going to avoid my notebook for a while because that's what I do when I type more than a sentence or two. ;_;
Users were nice recently after I vented in the newsfeed and I'm not used to that...so I don't know how to respond. All I can say is, I can't take anybody up on their offers of a listening ear. Both because of my crippling anxiety/total inability to hold a conversation (I've had a lot of very bad social experiences with people who started out kind, then they weren't...they got fed up and lashed out at me or just disappeared, or both...so I expect everyone to be that way, now), and because I'm just so much more full of negativity and misery than anyone can realize. Even professional therapists (more than one) couldn't deal with me. I can't bear to inflict that on anyone anymore. So I vent on a public message board or some such, craving some validation...and then chicken out and avoid if any is given. -_-
I don't mean to seem so ungrateful. I (eventually) read the comments and appreciate them. Actually responding, though...I've forgotten how to communicate one-on-one. And it's probably for the best, since I'm far too miserable for anyone to tolerate for long. I believe most people regret trying to get to know me and I can't blame them, I can't stand me, either.
So...yeah. Regretting this already. ;_; *creeps out*
Called the dentist's office yesterday to make sure my appointment is still on since the governor shut down all schools. They confirmed it, a relief since I feel a new chip in another tooth. Started worrying about groceries, though, since we're supposed to go shopping today. Need soup since presumably my teeth will be gone.
Now a few minutes ago on my dad's ambulance scanner we heard a call for a woman in her sixties, coughing, short of breath, needs help. Tested positive for COVID-19. Not far down the road from us.
My parents are in their sixties...underlying health conditions. I can't drive, can't live on my own, can't do anything. I have no one else.
Great...for some reason my Facebook is blocked for "suspicious activity." Literally the last thing I did there was post the link previously posted in this notebook, plus a share of a photo from that shelter's Facebook. I have no friends there, no identifying info, and am under a pseudonym due to stalking in the past; I even say on my page that I've been stalked so I prefer not to give out ID info. I've NEVER done anything suspicious. I don't contact anybody through there or anything, either. I've had that account for years with no problems. All I do is once in a great while share a news story.
And now all of a sudden, it's blocked? For suspicious activity? WHAT activity? They didn't even clarify. They made me submit a mobile number (I don't have one, so had to use my mother's--God I wish sites would realize WE DON'T ALL HAVE CELL PHONES) and a photo of myself which they said they'd use to "verify" that it's me--um, HOW? I've never posted a pic of myself (for aforementioned reasons) so there's nothing to compare it to!
With my luck they'll never unlock it, or even worse, delete it..."suspicious" because I can't give out every identifying detail about myself, since I'm trying to avoid online stalkers. Then there go my connections to various games and groups I had enough trouble connecting to in the first place.
I bleeping hate Facebook...only have (had?) it because some sites require it. And now I can't even do that.
I wish I had some reassurance that I'd get it back (and not have to post all my identifying info publicly or provide even more--I don't HAVE anything more, except state ID and SSN!), even if I had to wait a week, but all I found about this issue was from years ago, and I know FB cracks down on pseudonyms so I'm terribly worried and down. (How would/do they know I'm using a pseudonym, though...? My page says no such thing.) After I submitted the requested info they didn't even say how long I'll have to wait, just "You can't use Facebook right now." Nothing else. (Can't even submit help requests/appeals to them until I'm unblocked!) I think this "suspicious activity" thing is just an excuse to purge an anonymous account because they gave ZERO explanation.
Feeling rather sore. Somebody offered me a trade on a virtual adoptable site, several pets for a rare one of mine; one was a hard-to-find pet I really wanted. A couple of others I already had (hadn't updated my wish list). User said I could modify trade if I liked; I usually ignore a trade I don't 100% want, because I'm too shy to offer a trade another user might not want, but I really wanted that rare pet, and they had a common pet I want too, so I modified trade & sent it back. This actually made the trade less fair for me, more beneficial for them. I wanted the rare & other pet enough to take a hit.
Waited & waited and no response; logged in today to see it was "automatically cancelled" when another user took it. I don't understand this since it should have "automatically cancelled" BEFORE I sent my modification, or right when I did so, not after, because a trade is auto cancelled only when somebody beats you to it (or so I thought), & the trade was still active when I modified it; if it auto cancelled earlier, I never got notice. Every other time I got notice.
Either way, I don't get the rare pet or the common one I wanted. This happens without fail when I modify trades or offer my own. I keep telling myself not to do so, to just ignore trades I'm not fully interested in...I thought maybe this one time it'd work. Guess not. Even if there's a creature I really really want, next time such a trade comes, if I'm not 100% interested in it, I'm just going to ignore it and sadly move on without the pet. Like I have to do now.
I know this is a trivial thing to be upset over, just...I really hate putting myself out there & always regretting it. & I really wanted those pets.
Soon going to start a blog I can whine in so I stop cluttering my notebook. I know I'm very whiny.
New scanner. It's wireless so I can scan in my bedroom and get the images on my computer in the living room. I'm jazzed, now I can scan all my old sketches/art. (Except the one drawing which still seems to be missing. ) I have no photo-editing software, so have to do that online (and resize the gargantuan images a bit).
Slowly cleaning up the formatting on my items. You can add stock art to them now. Looks like a few need updating since they were posted in rough format. Gives me something to do here, at least. That and play games for GPs with the bots in the IM console. (Those weren't around my last time here, either.) Too bad there isn't more actual chat to lurk on (since I'm too anxious to join in).
Pondering starting a new blog to replace the current one; have had an intro and entry typed up for a while now. But it's very, VERY negative, and though I need a venting space, I fear it'll make me sound awful and put people off from checking out my port.
I don't think I'm an awful person, but when I rant, I sound like I am. And I rant a lot, unfortunately. -_-
Without fail, whenever I post an artwork that I think is actually one of my rarer, well-done pieces on DeviantArt, nobody at all notices it. I posted THREE of them last night...nothing but crickets. -_-
I have no clue how people get noticed there anymore unless they constantly spam others with "Please check out my art!" which I refuse to do (mostly because I'm too shy). I don't really get noticed on Reddit or Tumblr, either. I'm not the vocal, sociable type (I have crippling social anxiety disorder), so I have no connections, no network, no one to spread the word, and I guess no matter how much you work at something, you'll never get noticed without a social life to put you out there.
Or maybe my art just really is that lousy.
I know I'm not very good, but I'm trying to improve. And I've been at it for over a year now. It's just so frustrating to do all this for nothing. My writing gets no significant attention, so I figured, I should learn to draw, since people who can write AND draw get attention. I really thought if I kept at it, people would start to notice, but that's not happening.
...I know I'm whiny but I have nowhere else to vent about things. My parents aren't interested in my art or writing, either, so I don't get much encouragement anywhere and it wears on me.