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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/akaru
Review Requests: ON
8 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Xeno
Rated: E | (4.5)
Let's review piece per piece.

"Life has a beginning and end, that one day must meet.
Mine has come full circle, it is now complete."

>> Now that is a strong introduction, it is brief but it tells 80% of the poetry.

"I once was here, now I'm gone.
Never had a reason to live, till you came along."

>> This phrase is really purposive; a good explanation for what an affection or love can do.

"Never knowing what our future holds,
We always planned of growing old."

>> A follow up purposive statement mixed with ambitious memory.

"My time has come to leave you behind,
You must think I'm hard to find."

>> Omniscient point of view, recalls a gloomy memory.

"I am close, I am not that far away.
I will always be with you, to help find your way."

>> A promise from the speaker to it's lover.

"Promise me any tears you shed,
are for the fun times we shared, the life I lead."

>> Now, this is a phrase where the title suits.

"Life’s choices I've made, no regrets nor shame.
If I had to do over, I would do just the same."

>> From memories to acceptance of fate. Good transition.

"My life was a journey that's come to an end,
Now I ride in peace, till we meet again."

>> With the help of the previous transition, farewell message became more painful.

"I must go now I'm not alone,
Jesus is here to take me home."

>> Adding Religious beliefs are good to poetry.

"I wish I had more time to stay,
Heaven awaits, I'll be on my way."

>> Post wishes can be a good spice, it gives more emotional vibe.

"Now here in heaven, is were I'll be.
To meet again, in heaven you must believe."

>> The death occurred and the speaker is now on the other side.

---

Poetry is a good choice for this message, it gives the message more art.
The grammar is good, and overall, this piece is a great start for you.
A little advice: You must add more words into your vocabulary, it is not a must, but specific and broad terms can be expressed even more new words.

Keep on writing, take your time, never rush. It is fine to be slow, sometimes...

"Being slow allows you to meet your inner self."

Bye.
2
2
Review by Xeno
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Really interesting poem. Free writing is the best way to start your journey with poetry, continue on writing what your mind wants to say.
A weird idea supported by various philosophies are always unique, trust me. That is also my style. Keep on writing and give your best effort to every piece that you make.

-xeno
3
3
Review of A Prayer  
Review by Xeno
Rated: E | (4.0)
This prayer is simple and directly straight to the point. It is what we call "Adoration", it is the first part of a prayer that everyone should always remember, Adoration is to be followed by Confession, then Thanksgiving and finally Supplication.

Anyways, this is a really good prayer. And I hope you would still do more!
Keep writing.
4
4
Review by Xeno
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is just a normal type of poem, but it has a good description.
Keep writing!
5
5
Review by Xeno
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
The story is really interesting and the details of the characters movements are realistic and typical. It is really easy to understand to us 18+ audience. The plot of the story is unique and well organized, the settings are also very good. Thank you for such good story! Keep it up!
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