The descriptive words were excellent, and the emotional pull to keep reading was amazing as well.
I felt the last two paragraphs could have been worded better, maybe leaving more to imagination then to say "she was a vampire" for example. Great work though :)
Very emotionaly revealing, I loved your use of words. I did think however that you should have added a second verse or a different ending... it kind of seemed to abruptly end.
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