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Review of Sunset  
Review by AndrewG
Rated: E | (3.5)
I enjoyed the general theme of this piece!

Regrets, love, pain. A believable scene typical of the male-female dynamic: the male being proactive, and the female reactive. Although, unfortunately for the characters, not in this case!

I liked it when the female took control a little: "She took my hand in hers...". As if to say.: "It's ok." Which, I suspect, only made the regret and pain more pronounced!

Can I suggest maybe some reflection on the nature of the relationship?

The first sentence implies some level of physical intimacy, yet in the rest of the passage I was left with the feeling the two characters were platonic friends wondering how - or if - to go to a more intimate relationship. Maybe on a first date after knowing each other for a period of time. But one, or the other, was about to move away.

A clear idea of where their relationship has come from, and where it might go would help I am sure. Have they been together as lovers, for a while, but come to a crossroads? Or on a first date, waiting for someone to move things on? Is it unrequited love? Is one about to move away, say, to college, so it is now or never?

And maybe a few too many distractions from the central theme of love and regret?

eg "We lay for hours on the soft grass beneath the giant oak tree. Finally, I turned on my side...." may have been enough to set the scene for the looming castastrophe ahead!

BTW, my first review, so forgive me if I haven't been helpful.
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