I can only say...wow! There is such strength and power in your words. While I appreciate this in it's entirety, I don't think the last line flowed as well as the rest. I'm also not sure you can change this and still maintain the power here. Just a thought.
Well done. Keep writing!!
Very haunting imagery. The sea seems to be a universal theme at some point for all of us poets, with such a wealth of possibilities.
Again, I truly love the imagery of this piece. The use of rhyme and then not rhyming is a bit confusing and makes for a difficult read.
Have you read this piece out loud? Excellent habit to get into.
I really like this poem...a favored subject of mine.
The imagery of this piece is beautifully done. Grammatically, it is sound, but the words do not flow as easily for me as they could. THe ending line is extremely powerful in it's starkness.
Overall, a very well written piece.
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