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Review by Alice Baine
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey Rakitin,

I can't say I ever thought I'd be reading a Yu-gi-oh erotica fan-fiction, haha. So bear in mind, my review comes as someone who's never read romance or erotica. Though I loved Yu-gi-oh as a kid.

Also, this is just a review for chapter 1. I hope to get more reviews further on.

I think the strongest quality of your first chapter was the pacing. You never veered into exposition or left me stranded either. I had a good grasp of what was going on the entire time.

The characters are all likeable from what I can gather so far. The dialogue felt pretty natural, and your descriptions of the surroundings was very clean.

I think my only critique would be some alternate wording suggestions, and tinkering with some of the sentences. There's nothing major, though, so I'd say you kicked your story off with a good start.

Keep up the good writing!
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